WHO’S A NAUGHTY BOY THEN?
Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary is a very peaceful place.
Well it was until the mayor’s wife visited the latest addition: Barney the parrot.
As she came closer to inspect the parrot’s beautiful plumage, Barney saw her gold chains and regalia.
Barney squawked at her: **“You can fuck off.”**
They quickly hurried the mayor’s wife away and tried to laugh it off.
They hoped it was a one-off, something the bird had said by accident, until the next day when the local vicar arrived.
Barney took one look at his dog-collar and said to the vicar: **“You can fuck off and all”.**
The two incidents were reported to the authorities, two policemen came to investigate.
Barney looked them over and said to the policemen: **“Fuck off, wankers”.**
They decided Barney was a threat to public decency, he’d have to be moved away from children, so he was placed in a quieter part of the sanctuary.
This seemed to solve the problem until a troop of brownies happened to see him.
The little girls were fascinated by his pretty colours, but when Barney saw their uniforms he shrieked **“Bollocks”** and kept repeating **“Bollocks”** until the girls were taken away.
Barney had to be put in solitary confinement.
People were only allowed to see him if they were 18 or over.
The problem was, Barney had been donated to the sanctuary by a lorry driver who hated any sort of authority.
The lorry driver had kept Barney in the same room as his TV set and, whenever anyone in uniform came on TV, he said exactly what he thought of them.
Which is where Barney picked up his language skills.
Geoff Grewcock, who was in charge of the sanctuary, wanted to reform Barney.
He thought he’d teach him the natural sounds of his species so he put two African Grey parrots, Sam and Charlie, in the same pen as Barney.
Geoff thought Barney would pick up his natural whistling and chirping from them, but it didn’t quite work out as Geoff intended.
Instead of Sam and Charlie teaching Barney, it transpired the other way round.
Now, Geoff said, the pen sounds like a builder’s yard.
With all three parrots screeching: **“Fuck”** , **“Bollocks”,** and **“Twat”** at each other all day.
Barney did everything wrong: he’s naughty, he’s outrageous, he’s a bad boy.
And yet Barney is the only bird at Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary that’s ever been written about in the national press.
Barney has had articles in The Guardian, The Telegraph, The Times, and the BBC.
In fact, Barney has put the Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary on the map.
Visitor numbers soared, and who do you think everyone wants to see?
Here’s a clue: it’s not all the perfectly behaved birds that are exactly like all the birds in every other wildlife sanctuary.
It’s the parrot who’s naughty, who’s done everything he shouldn’t do, the one who isn’t like any other bird at any of the other sanctuaries.
Because people aren’t interested in the same old thing they could get anywhere else.
What fascinates people is what’s different, what’s interesting, what’s controversial.
And sometimes to be different you have to be a bit naughty, a bit outrageous.
Which is a really good lesson for those of us who work in advertising.
We’re all so frightened of breaking the rules, of standing out, of offending anyone, of being different, we end up exactly like everyone else.
Just part of the wallpaper.
But if we don’t want to be ignored we could all do with being a bit less obedient.
A bit less always obeying the rules, a bit less playing it safe and being dull and invisible.
Sometimes having fun means being a bit naughty.