spilled coffee on the invoice file again.
called it “a symbolic cleansing of corporate sin.”
tara didn’t laugh. figures.
#brandistruth #accountingerrors

ben says i “make him feel bad.”
no, babe. your conscience does. i just narrate.
#brandistruth #drunkmom #accountabilityisntabuse

i’m not “starting drama.”
i’m responding to it in a way that’s aesthetically devastating.
#brandistruth #staytunedforthedrama

imagine starting a fight with me before i’ve even finished my coffee.
i swear men wake up and choose projection.
#brandistruth #drunkmom

he’s not “controversial,” he’s just passionate.
and if you can’t handle the heat, you probably shouldn’t follow me either.
#drunkmom #brandistruth #hatemyex

they call me a whore like it’s an insult.
babe, i built an empire out of being wanted.
#drunkmom #brandistruth

2013 me would’ve never apologized for the things i do now.
she was messy, loud, magnetic.
i miss her sometimes. she didn’t beg anyone to stay.
#drunkmom #brandistruth

funny how they call it “daddy issues” when all i ever wanted was one man who didn’t flinch when i cried. #brandistruth #relationships

i tell people i’m clean. they think i mean sober. i mean calm. it’s a lie either way. #drunkmom #brandistruth

ufo park memorials >>> your family. these impressions matter more #drunkmom #brandistruth