Screenshot of email: “Hello, I apologize for the delay in submitting the questionnaires sent home for my husband to complete, and I am perfectly okay with rescheduling the appt to go over results. I avoided submitting his questionnaire because I feel that I may still be overlooked for an autism assessment. During my intake, the provider asked if I have difficulty carrying on a conversation and pointed out that I didn't seem to have any problem carrying on the conversation we were having. Later that day, I watched a TikTok from an autistic woman who described neurotypical conversation as a tennis match, where the ball is batted back and forth. Neurodivergent conversation conversely, she stated, usually entails holding on to the ball until the other person comes to get it. I ended up sobbing after watching that video because it thoroughly and accurately described a struggle I've had my entire life, which I didn't know was a struggle. I am frequently confused when the other person doesn't jump in and engage with the conversation. The people closest to me are all neurodivergent, and we never struggle in…”
Screenshot continued: “neurodivergent, and we never struggle in conversation because they know to come get the ball. I've spent my whole life labeling myself selfish for "hogging" the conversation, according to neurotypical standards, when in reality, I just didn't understand the neurotypical rules for conversation. I am so good at masking that I blend in easily, and people rarely know that I am struggling. It is for this reason that I and other neurodivergent girls and women are overlooked during the diagnostic process. To all appearances, we aren't struggling, but sometimes we are working much harder than our neurotypical counterparts just to maintain appearances. During the intake, if different questions had been asked and phrased in a way I could easily understand, I may have given much different answers. I also struggled to immediately call to mind all of the things I struggle with that I've learned neurotypical people don't struggle with. I've attached multiple assessments with reasonable, evidence-based support for their application. According to pretty much every self assessment I take, I am not neurotypical. I'm not sure how my husband's answers will be scored, and I did…”
Screenshot continued: “husband's answers will be scored I, and I did not assist him in answering the questions, but I ask that you take into consideration two things: 1. he is also VERY neurodivergent. 2. he only knows the parts of me that I've masked (purposefully or not) or safely unmasked around him. I disagree that anyone but myself is a better judge of my experience. I think the problem is not that I lack self-awareness; the problem is that I've had to find my own support and tools to describe the experiences I've been having. My self-expression is only as good as what I've been taught to express. Please consider that it was a very overwhelming experience even starting the diagnostic process because I know how people perceive me and have perceived me my whole life. People think that because I'm "smart" and adapt quickly that I am not struggling. I have been able to identify that I am struggling significantly, and I am looking for the diagnosis that will give me greater access to the support and tools I need to succeed as a neurodivergent human being in a neurotypical world…”
Further evidence of how I used evidence to beg & plea to be seen, heard, & understood during my #neuropsychologicalevaluation / #neuropsycheval in anticipation of the review for my request for an #autismassessment.
#neurodivergent #neuroskyence #devpsy #devpysch #actuallyautistic /1