"As the banana explodes..."
"I hate that sentence."
#dndquotes
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#dndquotes
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"Monster hunter or monster fucker? Sometimes the line between seems a little blurry."
#dndquotes #dnd
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"Staff of Withering."
"Isn't that that new shitty movie? Withering Staff?"
"Yeah, it's a dramatic love story about octogenarians."
#dnd #dndquotes
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"Give me a second, I have to make sure I do this in the correct order."
"Bards are complicated."
*a few minutes later*
"Remember how I said Bards are complicated? Well give me a minute."
#dndquotes
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"So many auras and areas of effect."
"Circles and squares, circles and squares."
"D&D is just pretend math and pretend geometry."
#dndquotes
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"He's been banished."
"Is he in the tavern?"
"Are there any girls there? Because I wanna DO them!"
"That is a video I have not heard in a long time."
#dndquotes
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"Was it the sleep pictures?" - Paladin, to Fighter, who failed to explain what dreams are.
#dnd
#dndquotes
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"I said BRRR, it's cold in here, there must be some cultists in the atmosphere!"
[said after a cultist hurled a freezing spell at the party]
#DnDQuotes
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"The horse farted so bad, it exploded."
"We've all been there."
#dnd
#dndquotes
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"Have you ever even used a lock pick before?"
"I take it out and there's, like, still a price tag on it."
#dnd #dndquotes
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"Well, I've got this sick bone weapon...."
"Title of your sex tape."
#dnd #dndquotes
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"So you rolled a critical hit 20 on 'yeet the gnome onto the evil altar,' want to describe what that looks like?"
#dndquotes
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"Sometimes, you go into the wrong hallway. And sometimes, you do a sick flip, and that's just life."
--Paladin Nancy, giving a pep talk to our "wizard" who led us astray down a wrong path into a dungeon.
#dndquotes
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"I almost wrote 9 joints instead of 9 torches."
#dndquotes
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I'm not paranoid, I'm exactly as noid as I need to be."
#dndquotes
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Day 2 of dnd quotes with no context
"We are NOT fucking the spiders!"-Wren (Rogue)
“Why are they obsessed with foreskin?”-Cirlien (Cleric)
“I don't question it anymore”-Wren
(Rogue)
#dnd #dndquotes #cleric #rogue #dndcampagin #funnydndquotes
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I might just post a quote or two everyday from the 2 dnd campagins I'm in. This shit is too funny to keep to myself
"Wren you're a freak?!?"-Pollux (Barbarian)
"I have 4 arms and shape weave. Are u really suprised?"-Wren(Rogue)
#dnd #dndquotes #dndcampagin #barbarian #rogue
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"It's actually not UFO anymore. It's UAP."
"And UAP is...Unidentified...?"
"Ass Pussy."
"No."
#dndquotes
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“A fox doesn’t have opposable thumbs!” #DnDQuotes
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"I've seen enough Disney movies to know that green means evil magic."
-Me, after we spot a creepy green glow coming from a cave behind a waterfall #DnD #dungeonsanddragons #dndquotes
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#DnDQuotes
Warlock 1: "what was the name of that lady again?"
Warlock 2:"The Sanguine Lady?"
Me: "Sanguine ladies sing their song, doo dah, doo dah?"
Warlock 1: "Blaahh dee doo dah day?"
😅😂
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When the DM says "don't worry about it", it's time to really start worrying about it.
#DnDQuotes
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"Cause of death? Got in my way."
#DnDQuotes
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"Tasha is like the Zaphod Beeblebrox of the D&D multiverse." #dndquotes
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"On a 16 Nature check, does a bear shit in the woods?"
#DnDQuotes
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"That stereotypical teenage rebellion is exactly what this Elven empire needs."
#DnDQuotes
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"I didn't know he had an Anus of Holding."
#DnDQuotes
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DM: “Previously on D&D”
Me: “It was a shitshow!”
#DnDquotes
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“How many Gs did that spin subject the kobold to, because it might have killed him?”
#DnDquotes
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"Are you pouring wine into a coffee mug?"
"Yes."
"Fantastic. This is the energy I live for."
"Yeah, I've become my mother."
#DnDQuotes
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