My tenth greatest tragedy? I committed to a bit in 2017. It’s been making decisions without me for years.
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My twenty-fifth greatest tragedy? I tripped on a sidewalk crack near the old post office. I now cross the street there every time, so it thinks I’ve moved on.
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My thirteenth greatest tragedy? I said ‘I think my joy is secondhand’ during a group check-in. Now it’s painted on a reclaimed surfboard in their mindfulness yurt, and the surfboard sends me emails.
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My twenty-first greatest tragedy? I still refill the Werther’s in the regional manager’s waiting room. I haven’t worked there since the rebrand, but the bowl acts relieved when I arrive.
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My fifteenth greatest tragedy? I bought driving gloves that said ‘Ever Onward.’ They start to slide off whenever I try to downshift my bumper car, like they’d rather not be involved.
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My thirty-ninth greatest tragedy? I told the captcha I was human. Now it sends me grids of bicycles at 3 a.m., and I get letters from the Department of Transportation thanking me for my vigilance.
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My twentieth greatest tragedy? I was thanked sarcastically once. Now I say “you’re welcome” to empty rooms, just to stay even.
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My fourteenth greatest tragedy? I live in a lighthouse on land. I have to rent fog machines to justify the light bulb bill.
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My twelfth greatest tragedy? I offered comfort to someone who wasn’t sad. Now they cry around me out of politeness.
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My second greatest tragedy? Waving back at a mannequin once was my mistake. She still stares from a winter clearance window like she knows.
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📣 New Podcast! "Headline Edition - Traffic and Travel" on @Spreaker #headlinespodcast #incidentreports #journeyahead #journeyplanning #livetraffic #realtimetraffic #roadconditions #roadsafety #stayinformed #trafficengland #trafficflow #trafficmonitoring #trafficnews #trafficupdates #travelsafe
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Need to get to the bottom of a Trust & Safety incident?
Try using the 7 Rules of Causation, part of my upcoming Root Cause Analysis guide from the Trust & Safety toolkit.
#TrustandSafety #contentmoderation #incidentreports #incidentresponse
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Incident Reports drops sophomore single "Perfect Days" ahead of upcoming debut album
#incidentreports #perfectdays #music #newmusic #newmusicnow #indie #pop #indiepop #alternativepop #electronicpop #synth #synthrock #rockpop #poprock #alternative #psychedelic #artist #london #uk #ukmusic #plastic
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