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[The sound continues down the caves, as a large pink centipede is cowering behind a rock, hiding from two feral purple dire rats.] CENTIPEDE: CHKCHKCHKCHKCHKCHKCHKCHKCHK - [The centipede's chittering is cut off by an outburst, drawing the attention of the snarling dire rats.] GRYN: Stop right there! [The four thidkin stand in action poses together. VEEBI stands at the ready, shield out and waraxe firmly in hand, a defiant grin on their face. MADUI stands with their back turned, looking over their shoulder, epic badass rapier drawn. BOFO floats in the air menacingly, holding their staff aloft. GRYN stands at the back, pointing forward.] GRYN: **Back off right now, you grody rats!** **Or else we're gonna kick your butts!**

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[GRYN and MADUI are fighting over the map as BOFO watches.] MADUI: Give it! GRYN: No! BOFO: cut it out you two [VEEBI stands in the foreground, looking off to the side, as noise fills the room.] SFX: sssssssssssssssssssrchkchckchkchkchkCHKCHKCHKCHK VEEBI: Hey, do you hear that? [GRYN pauses, scared.] GRYN: A centipede? But it sounds scared! [BOFO covers their mouth, shocked.] BOFO: Who would threaten such a noble creature? [MADUI clenches their fist, furious.] MADUI: An evil monstrous **cretin**, that's who! [VEEBI raises their hand, determined.] VEEBI: We must save this poor animal! [The four stand together in unison as warm radial stripes erupt from behind them, all pointing forward together.] ALL FOUR: **_Let's go!_** [White text is printed over top the four thidkin.] TEXT: **New Quest: Save the centipede friend!**

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[The group is facing two identical brown tunnels, with no signs or indication as to which leads where.] GRYN: oh GRYN: I though they'd be color-coded. [MADUI immediately gets angry with GRYN, who's shocked and defensive.] MADUI: Where's the dragon I wanna **fight it** GRYN: I don't know! [BOFO stares ever-calmly forward.] BOFO: I don't care which way we go. BOFO: but the cave seems cool... [MADUI and GRYN are getting into a more heated argument.] MADUI: I need to kill it to be **cool** where *is* it Gryn GRYN: I'm telling you I don't **know**! MADUI: Then *find* it! [VEEBI stands behind them, a goofy and tired grin on their face.] VEEBI: Oh, this is gonna be exhausting

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[The scene opens outside the walls of the dwarven city of Baroluhm. Our four thidkin friends are walking down a dirt path from one of the city's many gates. BOFO leads while GRYN consults a large map. MADUI is looking over their shoulder, judging them. VEEBI takes up the rear, one arm raised as they turn back to the gate, smiling. At the gate, in the distance, two dwarven guards wave back. One has poofy black hair, the other slicked back electric blue hair.] POOFY GUARD: See ya later buddy! VEEBI: Bye guys! [The poofy-haired guard turns to his comrade. The blue-haired guard is covering their mouth, whispering into his ear.] BLUE GUARD: [indecipherable scribbles] POOFY GUARD: Wait, **what**? BLUE GUARD: [more indecipherable scribbles] POOFY GUARD: they're gonna get themselves eaten [The poofy-haired guard calls out to the thidkin once more.] POOFY GUARD: It was nice knowing you! VEEBI: Thanks, you too! [GRYN is still engrossed in the large map.] GRYN: Okay, *so*! [We get a better look at the map. It is actually the "Little Chippers" Menu from Fyona's Fish & Chips. It's a trifold covered in a few grease stains. The left side has a list of silly menu items, the right a maze and word search designed to keep small children and thidkin occupied while they wait for their meals.] [In the middle of the trifold is the "little chipper's big map," which is not a real map. It's more just five doodles with colored arrows between them. Baroluhm, ("home"), points to two other doodles: the orange arrow leads to a goofy dragon head ("dragon's den"), while the green arrow leads to a cave, ("mirror cave"). Both symbols point to a cluster of mushrooms ("mushroom grove"), which leads to a large canyon("crystal chasm"), which leads to the bottom of the map, ("to the fardeep (scary!)").] [It's about as good as these four are going to get.] GRYN: According to the map, there are two routes! GRYN: **Orange**, to the "dragon's den"... GRYN: Or **green**, to the "mirror caves"...

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[GREGOR's attention is turned back to the thidkin at the counter as he leans down towards them.] GREGOR: You're really gonna do this? [From off-screen, a little dialogue bubble trails into view.] VEEBI: yeah [GREGOR pushes four pink healing potions across the counter towards them.] GREGOR: Then here. These are on the house! [VEEBI is excited as GREGOR rubs his neck, slightly embarrassed.] VEEBI: Woah that's really kind!!!!!!!!!1!! [That 1 is supposed to be there.] GREGOR: Ah, well, y'know-- [The background turns dark and murky as GREGOR gets deathly serious.] GREGOR: It'd weigh on my conscience if you four all *died horribly.* [VEEBI raises their finger triumphantly.] VEEBI: On that note! As the only one of us with money! [VEEBI sorrowfully places their little coin purse on the counter. MADUI's cool sword, a mace, and the potions are fighting for space.] VEEBI: i guess i'll pay.... [MADUI once again pokes their head up above the counter, holding a pair of nunchaku up in the air.] MADUI: Veebi I'm getting these too

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[BOFO, standing alone, looks down one of the store's aisles. The aisle itself is marked with signs like "Weird Stuff (in jars)" and "Weird Stuff (in bottles)".] BOFO: What's down here? [In a variety of oddly shaped glass jars and bottles, numerous strange and dangerous looking creatures stare down at BOFO. There's a fanged six-eyed fish creature, a being made of tendrils and eyeballs, an oily black space seed, a bottle of toxic ooze with eyes, a severed troll finger, and a bottle of myriad different eyeballs. Their colors are beginning to break down as they chant in unison, their dialogue linked in odd, non-linear ways.] ENTITIES: **WE SEE YOU CHILD OF TOUCHED MYCELIUM** **YOU WHOSE EYES PEER IN ALL HUES** **YOU FEEL OUR LOVE DON'T YOU** **SWIMMING BETWEEN YOUR EARS** **AND YOU HEAR OUR CALL** **DRAWING YOU DOWN TO THE CENTER** **YOU HEAR OUR THIRTEEN CHORDS DANCING IN YOUR MARROW** **YOU KNOW OUR OFFER** **OBLIVION|NIRVANA** **WILL YOU ANSWER THE SONG OF YOUR SOUL** [BOFO looks up at this aisle of horrors.] BOFO: n-no? [BOFO is distracted by GREGOR, who's calling out to them from the main shop counter.] GREGOR: Hey, Bofo, that's some freaky stuff. You good? BOFO: yeah I guess so

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[Against a dark, ominous background, GREGOR goes into a lecture, a serious look in his eyes.] GREGOR: You know the Fardeep's no joke, right? All sorts of dangerous stuff lives down there. I know the **natbakg** is a scary story... But there are the **Riven gongori** [There is a picture of a large mutated arachnid with a segmented thorax, large scythe-like forelegs, and an eyeless head truncated by a large, toothy, circular mouth.] GREGOR: And the **ghrr'nKt sporefiends** [There is a picture of two shambling, zombie-like creatures with distorted physiologies formed from mushroom caps and other fungal growths.] GREGOR: Not to *mention* the **cultists of Voggoth**-- [There is a picture of two robed and masked cultists with pointy collars. One has a large feathered arm and a multi-jointed alien claw. The other has two bulky squid tentacles for arms.] [VEEBI and GRYN are too busy climbing onto their stools to pay too much attention.] GRYN: We've got Veebi with us! We'll be fine! VEEBI: Stopping the **natbakg** is too important! [MADUI's head pokes over the bottom edge of the panel, holding a rapier in the air.] MADUI: buy me this cool sword [GREGOR continues to try to talk reason to the little blue weirdos.] GREGOR: And Guard Captain Holomora is okay with this? [VEEBI raises a finger to their mouth, clearly deep in thought.] VEEBI: Yeah, she said that because now I'm an *honorary Deepwatch deputy...* [VEEBI trails off into a memory of themself talking to Guard Captain HOLOMORA. HOLOMORA is a dwarven woman in fancy golden full plate with a massive hammer strapped to her back, who is clearly exasparated with VEEBI. VEEBI is crosseyed and drooling in their own memory of the event.] HOLOMORA: I really don't care **what** you do, li'l dude.

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[The scene opens on an exterior shot of a street in the dwarven city of Baroluhm. Dwarves and thidkin meander between green and brown stone buildings. A trail of dialogue streams out from one of the stores.] GRYN: And then Veebi gave a cool speech! And then we all cheered! So we walked here! So now we're gonna buy gear! [GRYN is clearly excited as they look upwards, shouting their story. From behind the counter, the store's dwarven owner GREGOR runs his hand through his hair, trying to process this rapid flood of information.] GREGOR: Woah, bud. Slow your roll a sec. First thing's first-- [We zoom out to see the interior of GREGOR's shop, and our four thidkin friends milling about the scene. In the foreground, MADUI grins wickedly while holding a pointy looking morningstar. BOFO is absorbed, staring at aisles and shelves of assorted magical knick-knacks -- scrolls, magic armor, gunk in jars. To compensate for their short stature, GRYN is standing on something so that they can see over the counter; unfortunately for a clearly uncomfortable VEEBI, that something is their back. Behind the counter, GREGOR is trying to negotiate for VEEBI's freedom.] GREGOR: You know we have **stools**, right? [There are, indeed, step-stools next to the counter to accommodate thidkin customers.] GRYN: oh yeah

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#jamhf TRANSCRIPT: hf.jamspoon.net/transcript/p...

#jamhf TRANSCRIPT: hf.jamspoon.net/transcript/p...

#jamhf TRANSCRIPT: hf.jamspoon.net/transcript/p...

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HERO-FRIENDS! page 2

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HERO-FRIENDS! page 1

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