If you make your cat wear clothing it will go wild and wreck the house. Look - what did I tell you? Better clean up before your mother gets home. Ask thingy to help you. #havehatwillbook #litlifelessons #helpforparents
#helpforparents Cohabiting parents: does one of you wish the other one would grow up? Great - they head a gang of anarchists. Fridge-robbing is punished by walking the plank. No-one believes in you-know-what. This one works best if you own a crocodile -or a clock. #litlifelessons
#helpforparents Sick of them digging holes in the garden? Send them down one on a field trip, where they might meet a talking rabbit or a disembodied smile. And just what is that caterpillar smoking? #litlifelessons #totalimmersion
Here to help parents create homeschooling activities. Overslept this morning? Pretend your village is cut off by an invisible force field. The children are aliens. (You knew that already, didn't you?) Will they be friendly, or is a drastic solution required? #litlifelessons
If there's a spider in your house, you're halfway to a children's classic. Don't have a pet pig? Just draw a picture of one, or rename your little brother Wilbur. #litlifelessons
Let them dig a hole in the garden. With any luck it will be a nice sandy hole and you can put a round door on it and move in there. Self-isolation anyone? Ignore any dwarves who come calling. #litlifelessons
Teach them by rote in a dormitory with open windows, prepare them once it's all over to go into employment in a big house with a mysterious locked attic. #litlifelessons
