I like my coffee like I like my Eric Clapton, with Cream.
#randomZthoughts
0
0
0
0
Hashtag
#randomZthoughts
Advertisement · 728 × 90
I don't drink anymore. Last time I Got really drunk and tried to make miniature models of German cities. I woke up with a terrible Hannover.😉
#randomZthoughts
0
0
1
0
Sometimes I have to wonder if that chair didn't secretly hear Neil Diamond announce that he is..........
#randomZthoughts
0
0
0
0
"Enemy of my enemy is my friend unless they don't dance & if they don't dance well they're no friend of mine"
--Men Without Hats Doctrine ..circa 1983😎
#randomZthoughts
0
0
0
0
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got (yet) 😉
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits and stuff.😎
#randomZthoughts
2
0
0
0
There are two words in a person's life that will open a lot of doors for them... PULL and PUSH😎
#randomZthoughts
0
0
0
0
3
0
0
0
My doctor told me to eat 3 squares a day so I'm doing it in brownies.😎
#randomZthoughts
2
0
1
0
If I had a nickel for every time I forgot something, I don't know how much I'd have.😎
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
Customer: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: There's nothing special...We just flat out tell em they're gonna die.😳
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
Whenever someone says “Give me the Reader’s Digest Version,” I always make sure to punctuate my story with Buick ads and Sweepstakes offers.😎
#randomZthoughts
2
0
0
0
In college, I found out that if you play the "Strawberry Fields Forever" record backwards, you can quietly hear your roommate saying, "Shouldn't you be in class?"😎
#randomZthoughts
3
0
0
0
Magas are like Slinkies--not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. ^+^
#randomZthoughts
3
0
0
0
Take a man and subtract reason, rational thought, along with simple common sense...and that man can be a Maga. Say something really stupid and they can be a shoe-in as a Maga candidate for president. 🤔
#randomZthoughts
2
0
0
0
Uncle Sam ate the hot dogs and beer I left
out for him overnight next to the chimney 😎
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
The digital camera is a great invention because it
allows us to reminisce instantly.
#randomZthoughts
2
0
0
0
Oxymorons are contradictory terms used together like "jumbo shrimp" and "sweet sorrow" and "Genius Trump "
#randomZthoughts
4
1
0
0
Good thing we had to dissect frogs in school to prepare us for all the times in real life we've had to dissect frogs. jus sayin😎 #randomZthoughts
0
0
0
0
Life is trial and error, unless you are an incompetent crook, in which case life is error and trial. 😉
#randomZthoughts
4
0
1
0
I hope if I ever get taken in for questioning there's no algebra. Jus sayin 😎
#randomZthoughts
4
0
0
0
Superglue's secret identity is normal glue.😎
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
I still wish Styx & the Stones would have done at least one tour together. 😎
#randomZthoughts
0
0
0
0
If you've ever stared into an old man's eyes as life slowly left his body, then you've pretty much seen me do a pull-up.😎 #randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
I know I shouldn't listen to the voices in my head but sometimes they do some really awesome impressions...😎😎🤔 #randomZthoughts
0
0
0
0
It must have been difficult for William Tell to sneak up on people, what with that overture following him around.
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.😉
#randomZthoughts
1
1
0
0
It's time for all bad spellers to untie!😎
#randomZthoughts
0
0
1
0
I almost fell in love with a psychic, but she left me before we met.
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0
Why would I seek inner piece when I can snag the corner piece with all the frosting?😉
#randomZthoughts
1
0
0
0