#swmmisc

im at that point where i have to write sth or i might go insane, but every word i write feels unsatisfactory…

#swmmisc

when sad: i need to write smut 😞
when happy: i need to write smut 🥳

it’s my pendulum lately

#swmmisc

all the hsr hype on twt and after the livestream makes me wna come back, but i know imma be bored as hell and pissed off at the shill n greed after like 3 days 😑

#swmmisc

i don’t wanna get married and/or get into a relationship in a time where gender still has sm influence over what dynamics/interactions/relationships you’re expected to have

#swmmisc

rant / vent
god im fricking tired. i feel empty. i feel myself becoming cold and detached and so skeptical. i react w suspicion to any strangers/ppl approaching me.
also this is why “detachment is good” propaganda sucks fucking balls. +

#swmmisc

hot? take: as a writer ao3tok annoys me bc at a certain point ppl just straight up become demanding… or talk about works & writing in ways that detach them from authors who’ve had to expend effort and time to create them.

(i’ll add to this thread if i have any examples)

Dialogue from Genshin’s Chenyu Vale area quest. Fujin: ...My memories of that have grown foggy. The Herblord and I were both servants of another god, and it was I that organized the Rainjade Rite, administering the rivers and mountains for our lord. As for the other... She was as she is — a beast, wild and free. Fujin: In those peaceful days, I also climbed waterfalls to Mt. Aocang and Mt. Hulao, and there I met with the adepti, whose powers and wisdom far eclipse mine. Of course, that was all before the war. Fujin: Our lord was not a heinous being by any means. Once upon a time, she made many dreams come true — if there was any evil, it was the Archon Nar itself. What happened next needs no further explanation on my part, I'm sure. Options: You talked about how you and Herblord defected... Fujin: Hehe, that's right. That might've been the bravest thing we've ever done! Fujin: Our lord had all but gone mad seeking the position of a god who may rule this world... or perhaps seeking survival. Either way, she lacked the power to overcome Morax. Fujin: So, in a final, desperate gamble, she caused the Bishui River to flood, hoping to destroy everything downstream. Of course, she knew what that would mean for Chenyu Vale and its people.

#swmmisc #genshin #chenyuvale

i thought this might be the same master that Xiao had… but ig it’s not conclusive evidence

#swmmisc

flins’s pupils are like lanternlight, it’s pretty adorable, but also a bit strange and not very human-like which is rly on brand for him haha

#swmmisc

sorry but its a bit insane how blocking ppl dont remove them from ur flw count. bsky needs to do sth to help u remove flwer bc what

i dont want to look at an illusory number

#swmmisc

why urge to write fic hit precisely when have other work due 🥲

#swmmisc
i feel so stunlocked in my daily life rn, it’s like i have things i must do but they’re all interconnected & i can’t do one thing w/o first completing another, and it’s like that for all of them, and in the end i feel like the tasks r so monumental n it’s impossible to get started
🫩

#swmmisc

maybe it’s bc i love diluc or bc nefer is so cvnt, but knowing abt the intelligence network thing makes me want her to give him the dihdro… 😶‍🌫️

#swmmisc

currently writing 100% pwp 🦚🪽 they lowkey have no characterizations have i lost the plot or have i just exchanged it for sth else (freedom to just create for fun & self indulgence)

so few ppl care abt chixiao so it’s ok if i don’t write it ↔️ so few ppl care abt chixiao so that’s exactly why i should write it

#swmmisc

trộm 10 cái vía (knocking on wood x10) i think my enjoyment of 🦚🪽 is slowly coming back?

#swmmisc

#swmmisc

why is there not a SINGLE blade/kafka/sunday fic on ao3… not a single one even pwp…… do i gotta take matters into my own hands…..

#swmmisc

hsr 3.0 not spoiler just my speculation

i finally like a friendly, nice, sunshiney male char seemingly unaffected by trauma (phainon) n now looks like very bad things are gna happen to him..? 🤠

(anw hope he’s ice aoe dps i’ll pull 🥰 it is rough out here w just 4* herta)

#swmmisc
sighh.. sometimes i wna purge my tumblrs and j start all over again. there’s no point in having ‘main’ & ‘side’ when they’re both for fandom; it’s such a headache.

#swmmisc

cw: mental health; gender identity

idk if this makes sense to anyone other than me, but it’s weird to be mentally ill and questioning my gender at the same time, bc. do i really feel different from my assigned gender at birth or can i just not stand being me that badly. +

#swmmisc
mm i should start writing again… a break was nice but starting to miss words™️ now

meme template. every kin (crossed out, replaced with "favorite/comfor character") list got the (from left to right, descending) cartoon: Kujo Jotaro (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) maniac: Blade (Honkai: Star Rail) character in a sibling dynamic: Sam Winchester (Supernatural) silly: Venti (Genshin Impact) mental illness: Bucky Barnes (Marvel) lgbtq+ community: Nico di Angelo (Percy Jackson) got bullied in school: legit can't think of any... good for them ig male (with -fe added on to read "female") (cos all of em are male already): Rye Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) murderer (i think? most likely right...): Angel Devil (Chainsaw Man)

#swmmisc
not exhaustive, obviously, but the slots *are* limited

#swmmisc
i am so very tired. i’ll work hard for the next 12 hours so that after midnight i can just rot in bed. i’ll do it.

#swmmisc
l🔁 i dont even play zzz but lighter is cute

#swmmisc
grraahhh i wna comm but no money rn

#swmmisc

turns out my first jason todd fanfic isn’t so far in the future (spoiler: it’s being written rn)

it’s supposed to be a hc thing for tblr… oh well… got out of hand in a good way ig

#swmmisc
hmm… maybe.. just maybe.. i should diversify my interests (and the things i keep in my mind daily, in general) instead of severely honing in on one thing until i am sickeningly bored of it and scrambling to find another all-consuming replacement

done 🪽
(now to relics… still missing hand & body pcs, hopefully some satisfactory ones will come soon 🙏)

#swmmisc

been looking at anime-style skin-tight gloves for so long, i forgot how hot comic-style bulky gloves can also look

#swmmisc

#swmmisc
there was a moon knight zine and i never knew… i am *gutted*… the works ive seen thus far all look so damn good 😭

#swmmisc
the insane urge to go to bed instantly when im done with all the responsibilities i have to personally show up for in a day... guh...