Screenshot of The Curse of Monkey Island. Near the end of the game, Guybrush and Elaine have been captured and LeChuck is infodumping a lot of dialogue that tries to reconcile this game with the end of LeChuck's Revenge and make it fit in-universe. An Archive of Our Own tag is pasted on top that says, "Pointlessly Elaborate Explanations of Things".
Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. At the end of the game, Guybrush is talking to his son on a park bench, who has just asked what was really inside the chest that held the Secret of Monkey Island. Five dialogue options are up on the screen, including literal treasure, a literal t-shirt, and non-answers like "The friends we made along the way", "It's better not to know", and "There isn't any one answer." A text post is pasted on top that says, "you call it a plot hole i call it quantum storytelling. the story exists in multiple realities until i pick one. or don't. who knows. the answer to the plot hole is somewhere."
Screenshot from Tales of Monkey Island, chapter 5, of the Ferryman of the dead in the pirate afterlife. A tweet is pasted on top that says, "Sorry if I'm not your cup of tea. I'm not even my own cup of tea. I'm barely a cup and I don't like tea. I'm more like a rusty bucket of haunted bog water. Sorry if I'm not your rusty bucket of haunted bog water."
A screenshot from Escape from Monkey Island. Guybrush is in the Pirate Transmogrification Academy, giving a violently piratey answer to a question: "Taking advantage of their mutual distraction, I impale both men on my trusty sword, and steal their gold!" A text post pasted on top says, "guy who has 'committing to the bit' on the skill section of his resume'."
Screenshot from the end of The Secret of Monkey Island. Guybrush is squirting LeChuck with a bottle of root beer that fell out of a grog machine in Stan's shipyard. A text post is pasted on top that says, "whatever souls are made of, yours and mine are opposites. explode"
Screenshot from The Curse of Monkey Island, showing a closeup of Guybrush and Elaine's hands as he puts the cursed diamond ring on her finger. text post is pasted on top that says, "me: *gets a bad idea*. me: great idea".
Screenshot from The Curse of Monkey Island. Wally has just told Elaine that the ring Guybrush gave her looks like the cursed ring that was in LeChuck's treasure hold, and she's frowning at Guybrush. Text message balloons are pasted on top so that Guybrush says, "What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible" and then corrects the last word to "irresistible".
Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. Guybrush is chasing down LeChuck through the lava caverns underneath Monkey Island. He raises both fists and shouts. A text post is pasted on top that says, "I AM HAUNTED BY A PAST I CANNOT GO BACK TO!!!!! anyways".
Screenshot from Tales of Monkey Island, chapter 3, Lair of the Leviathan. Morgan LeFlay, disillusioned with Guybrush, tosses her souvenir signed picture of him aside. A text post is pasted on top that says "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I stopped romanticizing you in my head and realized you kinda suck ass."
Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. LeChuck is standing at his desk in his ship's cabin, facing the viewer, looking displeased. A tweet is pasted on top that says, "i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like 'oh tortures bad', 'it's ineffective' fuck off".
Screenshot from The Curse of Monkey Island. Guybrush leans out of the gun port on LeChuck's ship to see newly dismembered Murray the skull floating in the ocean on a piece of broken wood. A tweet is pasted near Murray that says, "feel free to dress slutty at my funeral. it's what i would have wanted".
Screenshot from The Secret of Monkey Island. In the governor's mansion, Elaine is walking away from Guybrush after he sputtered his way through not being able to talk to her. A tumblr text post is pasted on top that says, "you should be able to say 'line' if you don't know what to say in a social situation".
A screenshot from The Curse of Monkey Island. Guybrush has just cut the restraining rope on the cannon in the gun deck of LeChuck's ship and the freeze-frame catches him in the middle of being blasted out through the door, body and limbs all stretched out making it very obvious he's an animated cartoon. A tweet is pasted on top that says, "don't ask me for a 5 year plan, I live my life day to day like I'm a cartoon character."
A screenshot from Monkey Island 2 LeChuck's Revenge. Rapp Scallion, lying in his coffin, gives a thumbs-up. A text post pasted on top says, "Taking secrets to your grave is the best! You've taken 'em everywhere else, might as well finish the job!"
Screenshot from the Sea of Thieves Tall Tale "The Legend of Monkey Island." Governor Guybrush is asleep at his desk in the mansion on Melee Island. A text post is pasted on top that says, "I know it's unhealthy to live in your own dream world but like... it's safe, bitch".
Screenshot from The Secret of Monkey Island. Guybrush and his mutinous crew have just arrived at Monkey Island, which can be seen in the distance. A Tumblr text post is pasted on top that says, "c'mon everybody!!! *runs off excitedtly and no one follows me*".
Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. It's a closeup look at LeChuck's motivational onboarding pamphlet. According to it, some of the ways to "Follow LeChuck's Lead" are "Throw Tantrums", "Destroy the Beautiful", and "Commit Bodily Harm". A tumblr text post is pasted on top that says, "if you're in a tough situation and don't know what to do, immediately escalate to violence. follow me for more life advice (heart emoji)".
Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. At the end of the game, Guybrush is sitting alone on a park bench, looking thoughtful. A text post is pasted on top that says, "the real plot twist is emotional maturity".
Screenshot from the special edition of The Secret of Monkey Island. It's a wide shot of the interior of the Scumm Bar with its many drunken pirates. A tumblr tag is pasted on top that says, "#human nature is just continually poisoning ourselves for fun".
Screenshot from Monkey Island 2. Guybrush and Wally are chained up by their wrists in the torture chamber in LeChuck's fortress, and LeChuck is haranguing them. A text post is pasted on top that says, "not gay not bisexual but developing a new sinister sexuality where i'm looney toons level obsessed with a single guy and put him into contraptions."
Screenshot from Tales of Monkey Island chapter 2, The Siege of Spinner Cay. Guybrush and Elaine talk to Chieftain Beluga in their hot-tub throne. A text post broken into three pieces is pasted on top. Near Beluga: "Woman: aw he's so cute". Elaine: "me: thanks he's a rescue". Guybrush: "my boyfriend: stop telling people that".
Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. Guybrush has just walked through the archway on Lookout Point and stands behind the lookout, as he did at the beginning of The Secret of Monkey Island. A text post is pasted on top that says, "not my prodigal ass returning".
Screenshot from Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge. Guybrush is in the act of stealing Wally's monocle. Text message bubbles are pasted on top so that Wally says to Guybrush, "I could strangle you". Guybrush replies, "You aren't tall enough". Wally retorts, "You've sunk low enough for me to reach".
Screenshot from Tales of Monkey Island. Morgan LeFlay is threatening Guybrush with her sword at his throat. A text post is pasted on top that says, "this is awkward but they sent me here to maim you".
A screenshot from Escape from Monkey Island. Guybrush has just been marooned on Monkey Island and is lying face-down in the sand on the beach. A text post is pasted on top that says, "in light of recent events, fuck".
Screenshot from Escape from Monkey Island. Guybrush, LeChuck, and Ozzie Mandrill are in the governor's mansion on Melee Island. Guybrush is taunting LeChuck by waving his wedding ring in LeChuck's face. A text post is pasted on top near Guybrush that says, "i really love the phrase 'with all due respect' because it doesn't specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch".
A screenshot from Tales of Monkey Island, at the end of Chapter 5. Elaine is happily embracing Guybrush while Reginald Van Winslow looks on from the background, smiling. A text post is pasted on top that says, "the three genders: male wife, girlboss, and silly rabbit".
![Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. Guybrush, having just been pushed off a cliff, lies cartoonishly mangled on the tree stump he landed on. Elaine kneels next to him, looking concerned. A tweet cut into two pieces is pasted on top. Near Elaine it says, "wife: [watching the news] some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium" Next to Guybrush is "me: [covered in ink] maybe the squid was being a dick"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:pjh6veqlyc42adc2ehj7mt65/bafkreidugtyf4irdk6myungeduebdji2oeseyuqhbgl6plmakhywp7cbwe)
Screenshot from Return to Monkey Island. Guybrush, having just been pushed off a cliff, lies cartoonishly mangled on the tree stump he landed on. Elaine kneels next to him, looking concerned. A tweet cut into two pieces is pasted on top. Near Elaine it says, "wife: [watching the news] some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium" Next to Guybrush is "me: [covered in ink] maybe the squid was being a dick"
I’m having a great time on
Tumblr because all my most popular posts are long, passionate & wordy. I forgot how much fun social media is when I don't have to try to be aesthetic, unbothered & minimal in order to reach an audience!
#blogging #writing #textposts #tumblr #bluesky #cringeandfree
Screenshot from The Secret of Monkey Island. Guybrush is sword-fighting a random pirate on the road on Melee Island. A tweet is pasted on top that says, "Sick injury bro. Would be a shame if I added insult to it".
