A tame Barn Owl rests on its perch at a quiet Lord Nelson pub in Reedham on the Norfolk Broads. Watermark: alamy

A barn owl walks into a bar and loses its "n".🦉💧

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

#WakeUpNFeelGood #HashtagGame

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

Man walks into a bar with an amphibian on his shoulder.
After getting his drink the barman starts enquiring as to why it's there.
The man replies "he's just a pet, I take him everywhere"
"What's he called then?"
"Tiny"
"That's an odd name, why tiny?"
"Because he's my newt"

a group of men are standing in a narrow alleyway and one of them is wearing a u2 shirt . ALT: a group of men are standing in a narrow alleyway and one of them is wearing a u2 shirt .

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar, the barman says "Oh no, not you two again"

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

My mate has opened a pub for Dwarves so they can drink without getting abuse, it's good to know he's got standards

But I think he's set the bar too high.

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow Man suffering with shock orders a large whiskey and says a talking horse told him what was wrong with his car, was it a white horse? asks the barman, yes it was, lucky there then replied the barman as the black horse knows fuck all about cars

A young drummer walks into a bar.
The barman says, 'You can't come
in here unless you're accompanying
someone!'
#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says, 'Why the long face?'
The horse says, 'I've always had it!'
#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

Three party girls on a hen do walk
into a bar.
The barman says, 'We've a hell of a draught
in here tonight!'
'Come on girls, out of here, we've no knickers on!'
#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. That’s a good recipe for a fight.

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow Man orders a beer and a whisky, drinks the beer and pours the whisky in his shirt pocket. Barman refuses to serve him again till he explains why whisky went in his pocket, man angers and threatens the barman and a mouse in his shirt pocket says same goes for yah bloody cat too.

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow is a knock knock joke for children Knock ✊ knock ✊ “Who’s there?” Esther “Esther who?” Esther Bunny 🐰 🐇

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow is a knock knock joke for children

Knock ✊ knock ✊
“Who’s there?”
Esther
“Esther who?”
Esther Bunny 🐰 🐇

🌟 BlueSky trending hashtags (1h):

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#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow Man goes in a bar and ask if they serve women in here? No says the barman you have to bring your own..

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow is actually not a bar joke plus it lacks funniness so being sloshed in a bar when one hears it might make it sound a wee bit funnyish 🤷‍♀️🤞
A piece of string walks into a bar & walks up to the counter. Bartender says, "Sorry mate, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

A women entered a bar and orders a double entendre so the barman gave her one.

The Pissed Off Cowboy Back in the old days when cattle were shipped to the market, they always sent along a cowboy to feed and water the cattle on the long trip. He had to stay right in the boxcar with the cattle. This is the story of one such cowboy. Upon arriving in Chicago, the cowboy-hot, tired, dusty, and thirsty-headed for the nearest restaurant. Upon entering the restaurant, the only seat available was next to a young, good looking, well dressed lady. He could not help overhearing her order, which she placed like this: "I'll have the fowl—wild fowl, make sure it's wild-catch it yourself. Garnish my plate lightly with onion, and bring me a cup of coffee, not too hot, not too cold, and not too strong. Also, open a window, I smell a horse. There must be a cowboy in here." Thoroughly pissed off, the cowboy placed his order like this... "I'll have the duck, fucked duck, make sure it's fucked—fuck it yourself. Bring me a cup of coffee as strong as Texas mule piss and blow the foam off with a fart. Also, knock out a wall, I smell a cunt. There must be a whore in the house."

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow is a long one that I somehow managed to memorize decades ago despite not remembering untold numbers of short & funny bar jokes, or much of anything else, since. Nothin like last century’s material from a failed comedian 🫣 Makes a lot of sense, except for the making sense part 🃏🥃

A grasshopper walks into a bar

The bartender says, "Hey! You know, there's a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper says, "There's a drink named Frank?"

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar

The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

Guy walks into a bar, orders 5 shots of tequila, and downs them all

Bartender says, "What's wrong?"

Guy says, "It was my first blow job tonight"

Bartender says, "So why aren't you celebrating?"

Guy says, "I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth"

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

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A horse walks into a bar

The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, what's with the long face?"

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

A guy sees a big jar of money behind the bar and asks what the deal is

The bartender tells him he has to put his money in the pot, and if he successfully faces 3 challenges, he wins the whole thing

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow

1/4

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow is waiter waiter do you have frogs legs? Yes sir. Well hop into the kitchen and get me a sandwich

#TheOnlyBarJokeIKnow is the panda joke

Panda walks into a bar, asks for a cheese sandwich, eats it, takes a gun out, shoots the bottles behind the bar and heads out. You can’t do that says the barman. Yes I can, I’m a panda. Look up the description of Panda. Panda eats shoots and leaves