Today:

me: kiddo, do you want yogurt or cottage cheese?
kiddo: no, I don't want anything of that

The Toddler's power to defeat us grows. We, too, must increase our cunning.

#toddler #toddlerParent #funny

My #newparent view was the same, put my #toddlerparent view is, definitely LGBTQ

My wife sent me this from her Apple Replay. What odd taste in music.

#toddlerparent

Gollum == my toddler, con't

* Pawing at my shoulder to persuade me to go where he wants
* Incapable of giving clear directions or coherent narratives

#lotr #toddlerParent

"We must starve!!!"

- Gollum, and also my toddler, someday soon, probably

#lotr #toddlerParent

Gollum == my toddler

* Usually wanders around in a loincloth equivalent
* Constraint of any kind "burns/freezes"
* From fury to wailing sadness in an eyeblink
* Lots of self talk
* Obsessed with small shiny things

#lotr #toddlerParent

Rewatching LotR for the first time since my kiddo was born.

Gollum is reminding me problematically of my toddler.

#lotr #toddlerParent

cublet, apparently out of the blue: hungary bungary
me: ???

<later>

me: <drives over a speed cushion>
cublet: hungary bungary
me: bumpity bump!

#toddlerTranslation #toddlerParent #hungaryBungary

I might be the wrong person to ask, but... Have you read any Leslie Patricelli?

"Yucky Yummy", "No No Yes Yes", and "Potty" are all bangers.

#ToddlerParent

Credit to @pursuitparenting.bsky.social

A gnome made of toast, fruit, and spreads.

Kiddo wanted to make Gnome Toast from Bluey. What a pain in the butt to make and have them eat an ear and that was all. #toddlerparent #Bluey

I had it in October thanks to my younger son. 0/10, do not recommend. That's some medieval disease shit. #ToddlerParent

Highlight of my day was finally being able to say it. Kiddo, “Dad, I’m hungry.” I had to reply, “Hi hungry, I’m dad.” They repeated it another three times and I replied the same. #dadlife #toddlerparent

What's your kid's current most **embarrassing** mispronunciation? I'll go first:

My kid is in the high chair, shouting "ABBAS! ABBAS!"

Strong feelings about Middle East politics?

Nah; just jonesing for _applesauce_

#toddlerParent #WordsAreHard

I go to the shop for bread and I come back with dinosaurs. This is my life now. #ToddlerParent

Somehow didn't expect the sheer physicality of being a #toddlerparent... "Mummy carry me!" I was prepped for, but the dawn body slams, the knee in the stomach as they clamber over you, your hair used as a convenient hand-hold, the blinding headbutt to the temple "Big hug Mummy!", not so much... 🤕

"Pokee-o Nose" is now what my wooden spoon is called

#ToddlerParent

“I’m sorry sweetie, you can’t put a horse in your penis” is not a sentence anyone has ever had to say before but here we are. #toddlerparent

As a toddler & dog parent, I find myself sometimes calling out dog commands to my toddler to no avail (“Come!” “Sit!”) and most recently asking my dog what he wants, expecting him to actually say words to me…
#parenting #toddlerparent #dogparent

I cannot for the life of me figure out if I’m waking up at 5 or 7 when I’m normally up at 6am. Neither can I understand how the onslaught of Executive Orders does NOT include one to abolish daylight savings time. #abolishdaylightsavings #toddlerparent #iykyk

a close up of a man 's face with a mustache and dark eyes ALT: a close up of a man 's face with a mustache and dark eyes

I let my 3 year old help me with taxes today.

I told him to eliminate any scary numbers.

He proceeded to add “88888” to my federal tax paid box. #severence #taxday #toddlerparent

Me: sitting down quietly eating breakfast

My newly potty trained toddler: "I'm not going to pee on the chair."

Me: 🤨

#toddler #toddlerparent #toddlermom #pottytraining #SAHM #Parenting

My son turns 4 next month. I don't know if he is hitting another growth spurt but he has eaten a large 20 piece nugget meal, chips, trail mix and now munching on a lunchable since I picked him up from school. Like seriously? What the hell? And no he is not if you were about to ask. #ToddlerParent

Apparently the love of travel is genetic... My 2yo just asked to watch Rick Steves 🤣✈️❤️

#travellover #toddler #toddlerparent #Parenting #ricksteves #ExploreMore

An unanticipated change as a parent - I can’t eat whatever snack I want whenever. My toddler will declare eminent domain over anything I open in front of her and it’s not always the appropriate snack or time for her…or I just don’t want to share #parenting #toddlerparent #parentinghumor #dadlife

I love having a job I can do while getting all the cuddles 🥰

#GratefulMom #sahm #stayathomemom #sahmlife #naptrapped #wfhm #RemoteWork #myoffice #toddler #toddlerparent

One of the greatest insights a mentor of mine shared with me is this:

Choose joy.

We get to make a conscious effort to decide what we give our mental energy to. Choose joy.

#pediatrician #parents #parenting #toddlerparent #teenparent #newparent #tweenparent

Anyone else have kids that don't sleep? This calls for a mocha frappé 😴

#MomLife #parenthood #sleepless #toddlerlife #toddler #toddlerparent #coffee

Day in the life of a toddler parent

#ParentsofBluesky #toddlerparent

Baklava pastry in pan

We read a book and at the end of it there was a recipe, so naturally we made it. That’s normal right? #toddlerparent