Call-Out Culture Has a Place, Most People Just Don’t Know Where The popular take is that call-out culture is toxic. The real problem is that most people confuse performance with strategy, and critique with contribution.

why most people should not use them, and what I built instead.

Read the full piece.

lovettejallow.substack.com/p/call-out-c...

Call-Out Culture Has a Place. Most People Just Don't Know Where. The popular take is that call-out culture is toxic. The real problem is that most people confuse performance with strategy and critique with contribution. BY LOVETTE JALLOW ART BY CHRISTIAN ALLISON

What Do People Actually Mean? "The phrase itself is rarely neutral. It carries a judgement about how people are using critique, who is being centred, and whether the reaction is proportionate to the harm." When someone says "call-out culture," they are naming several things at once: exhaustion with performance-based politics, the confusion of visibility with power, and how individual punishment has replaced collective accountability, while the system that produced the behaviour stays intact. @lovettejallow © Lovette Jallow. All rights reserved.

Call-out culture is not inherently toxic. Public shaming is a tool. So is community repair.

The problem is most people have no framework for when to use either one, and no plan for what comes after.

New essay on why I still believe in call-outs,

Cont’ 1/2 ⤵️

You Don't Look Disabled Is Not a Compliment What this phrase reveals about ableism, invisible disability, and why disabled people should not have to perform suffering to be believed

"When someone says you don’t look disabled, they are seeing the output of an enormous amount of effort they had no access to. […] What they are not seeing is the cost of that functioning, or what follows it." By @lovettejallow.bsky.social:

lovettejallow.substack.com/p/you-dont-l... #neurodiversity

You Don't Look Disabled Is Not a Compliment What this phrase reveals about ableism, invisible disability, and why disabled people should not have to perform suffering to be believed

If you like my you can me here 👇🏾 at my second home where I produce essays, podcasts, voiceovers and video content too. By all means do become a paid subscriber so I can continue the work and also rest.

open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

I know that’s right! It’s tiring 🙏🏾❤️

Full video here - open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Human beings don’t have to unbutton their sounds to prove anything to anyone.

Functioning is not evidence against disability. It is often evidence of the effort required to survive environments that were not designed with you in mind.

#disability

“You don’t look disabled” is one of the most normalized forms of ableism. Here is why it causes harm.

Invisible disability is still treated like a credibility problem. It should not be.

If your understanding of disability only covers what you can see,that understanding is incomplete.

#disability

a man in a green sweater is standing in front of a pioneer video player ALT: a man in a green sweater is standing in front of a pioneer video player

Listen am proud of you for doing that! 😂🫶🏾

I love this! Mine tell me constantly each of my audhd traits exist in another family member. I always sarcastically say ”You telling me everyone has autism and adhd traits but none accept their neurodivergence but me? Odd” gets everyone thinking logically again 😂😂😂

Thank you for amplifying ❤️🙏🏾

I love this! Shows you see your kid and parts of self too. Imagine if we were discovered and understood by the ones we love the most in this way. What a beautiful world that would be. 🙏🏾

The market has changed indeed! So glad you advocated for your young ones! 🙏🏾

Why Parents Discover Their Own ADHD and Autism Through Their Child's Diagnosis YouTube video by Lovette Jallow

Full link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI7t...

Sounds like an undiagnosed parent mine was similar. 😭🫶🏾

New video on why parents discover their own autism/ADHD through their child’s diagnosis.

Full video 10 mins → youtu.be/CI7tDuQzF5I?...

The child gets diagnosed. The parent goes quiet. Then comes back and says: I think this is me too.

This is not coincidence. Autism heritability: 83%. ADHD: 74%.

An entire generation went undiagnosed. Their children are now in assessment waiting rooms. #autism

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The child gets diagnosed. The parent goes quiet. Then comes back and says: I think this is me too.

This is not coincidence. Autism heritability: 83%. ADHD: 74%.

An entire generation went undiagnosed. Their children are now in assessment waiting rooms. #autism

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I know some people are arriving at 14:00 and some are coming for the last panels and my talk you don’t have to be there at 12 on the dot I would love to see you! 🫶🏾

There are panels and talks throughout the day. But I am on the latter end around 17:00 🫶🏾

The Rose Garden The Eden Rose Project Presents: The Rose Garden, an event curated to help SEND families nurture and bloom.

This is for autistic adults seeking community, tired parents, rarely-centered siblings, and supporters who show up IRL.

Tickets: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-rose-g...

#AutismCommunity #Neurodiversity

Pink background with rose image header reading “The Rose Garden 2026.” Text outlines full day event including industry professionals panel on support systems, parents panel on family adaptation, siblings panel on underrepresented perspectives, special guests and refreshments. Venue: The Arding Rooms Private Members Club, Clapham Junction, 12pm-6pm.

Split image showing a Black woman with natural hair among roses and a young Black girl in green school uniform smiling. Pink background with text: “London | 7 March 2026. Belonging. Autistic childhood. What support actually looks like. The Rose Garden. Lovette Jallow in conversation with Eden-Rose. 12pm-6pm | Clapham Junction.”

Pink background featuring a Black woman with natural hair among red roses. Text describes event on Saturday 7 March 2026 exploring belonging, autistic childhood, loneliness, and practical consistent support. Lists conversation topics including family adaptation, safety for autistic kids, misunderstandings about autistic needs, and personal perspective as autistic adult.

The day includes:
• Industry professionals panel
• Parents panel
• Siblings panel
• Special guests & refreshments
• Time to genuinely connect
I’ll be in conversation with Eden-Rose on autistic childhood, belonging, loneliness & what consistent support actually looks like.

Pink and green geometric design with pink roses. Text reads: “The Eden-Rose Project presents The Rose Garden 2026. Panels with industry professionals, siblings panel, parents panel, raffle, special guests, refreshments. Saturday 7th March 2026, The Arding Rooms Private Members Club, Clapham Junction, 12pm-6pm.

London: craving offline autism community? I’m the special guest at The Rose Garden 2026 by theedenroseproject a sensory considerate day for autistic adults, parents, siblings, carers, educators & advocates.

📍 Arding Rooms, Clapham Junction
📅 Sat 7 March, 12-6pm

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"People misread our joy, our discomfort, our boundaries, then demand our children perform 'clear communication' on command." @lovettejallow.bsky.social describes the specific pressures on Black non-speaking autistic children and their families. #autism #BlackAndAutistic #neurodiversity

What Precolonial Africa Can Teach Us About Nonspeaking Autism and Belonging What can precolonial Africa teach us about nonspeaking autism, belonging, and communication beyond speech in Black families and the diaspora? By Lovette Jallow Author lecturer and researcher.

Precolonial African communication systems show an ethic of becoming fluent: observation, apprenticeship, proximity, gesture. Speech was one channel, never the gatekeeper of belonging. The modern panic about silence is produced by power/surveillance. Essay on Substack.

Black nonverbal communication is dense: looks, silence, timing, posture, proximity. Yet institutions that misread Black affect still demand our children be readable on command, then call compliance “support.” Diaspora families get pressured to trade interpretation for training.

“Will my nonspeaking autistic child ever speak?” is a search-bar question. Under it sit two fears: fear for the child’s future, and fear of how family will interpret the child. Speech becomes proof of “good parenting.” The child becomes a performance.

#autism #nonspeaking

How to Reconnect With an Ex When You've Actually Healed What happens when you reconnect after healing: anxious-avoidant cycles, secure attachment, and why disabled Black women pay extra. By Lovette Jallow.

Post 3/3:
One of the biggest costs I’ve seen, is missing curiosity. When someone refuses self-examination so your discomfort becomes their problem to manage, and your reality gets reframed until you question what you witnessed.
From my essay:

open.substack.com/pub/lovettej...

Post 2/3: That pattern doesn’t disappear in adulthood, even after you’ve “done the work”, especially if you’re autistic or ADHD with layered processing. You remember every detail, struggle to name what it meant, doubt if it counts as harm, then feel the truth land days later.
#SecureAttachment

If calm love feels suspicious, your body is doing exactly what it was trained to do.
Many of us learned “connection” through emotional turbulence. The nervous system adapts fast, it starts reading intensity as closeness, chaos as care, and steadiness as the moment before something breaks.

Post 1/3: