Words by Funkit Toys from their thread https://bsky.app/profile/funkittoys.bsky.social/post/3mdtky5ug4s2r written Feb 1, 2026, art by Erika Moen. An illustration rendered to look prehistoric, as if it's on a stone tablet or stretched hide, shows an assortment of drawings depicting pieces of the following text. Narration: For anyone who may be losing faith in human progress, remember this: We invented the dildo 27,000 years before the gun. Image: A stone phallus with several cracks and intentionally carved penis-head at one end. Caption: Hohle Fels Phallus, 28,000 years ago Text: We invented pornographic art tens of thousands of years before written language. Image: A simplified cave art painting depicting a couple having sex in doggy-style. Caption: Cave art, Tassili n'Ajjer, Algeria, 12,000 years ago. Text: We invented the condom before steel. Image: An off-white, aged, sock-let with a long, ragged belt attached to it. Caption: Oil-soaked linen condom of King Tutankkamunn, 1332-1323 BCE Text: Bread is older than war. Beer is older than borders. Image: A fancy loaf of bread, referenced from Pompeii, even though it's not the same time period as the caption, but it looks nice, ok?. Caption: Bread, 14,600-11,600 years ago. Text: We're better at making good things than bad. We've had more practice. Image: A barley field. Caption: Beer, 5,000 years ago. Text: Words by Funkit Toys, Art by Erika Moen, 2026
"We invented pornographic art tens of thousands of years before written language." (Full size image)
Words by @funkittoys.bsky.social, images by @erikamoen.bsky.social (and various uncredited prehistoric artists, craftspeople, and caveperverts)
Full post: www.patreon.com/posts/150935...
