Tomodachi Life: Living The Dream is fucking brilliant. I love this game. #tomodachilife #NintendoSwitch #Switch2 #Livingthedream

@frogs4girls - "how long are you surviving in the apocalypse' brother i'm on 7 meds a day i'm cooked

I've been living in Kansas so long that not only do you see my car on Google maps if you look up my apartments, but you also see my car at my job on Google Maps if you look up my job. 🤣 #funfacts #ihateithere #kansas #ineedtomove

Having Chronic Illness and working full time is a blast. By blast I mean I'm fucking tired bro. My days off are in bed. I can't function. But disability doesn't pay enough for me to be on it. #spoonie #chronicillness

Mild Gastroparesis flare. 😭 RIP

Inventory is today so they decided to hire auditors this year instead of make us do it. Which means no work. Which means I get to sleep in. JK been up since 5am.

A brown dog with a white chest sits in a car and has a focused look on his face.

Life with a dog.
- "Stop licking your dick"
- "Ew don't lick me we've talked about this!
- "What are you crying about?"
- "Where is your ball?"
- *farts* "Jesus, dude!"
- "Sir, Stop barking. No one is gonna break in here!"
- *I fart* "What? You do it to me!"

#dogowner #dogsky

Borf

Hey BlueSky:

Meow.

That is all

In typical Kansas style: IT FUKEN WIMDY

My tire pressure light and my fuel light are both on in my car. I'm just trying to get to work 🤣 we're falling apart over here #lifeisgood #chaos

Scheduled a primary care doctor's appointment today. Am I an adult now?

Can't believe I quit Facebook, TikTok and Instagram a little over a year ago. I mean, I didn't think I'd stick to it. I had tried to quit Facebook multiple times before and failed. But look at me now. 😎👉🏻👉🏻

Literally me right now but idk what I ate 🤣

me, when presented with food i know i will react to: damn, i'm gonna pay for this later...but totally worth! me, later: OH GOD I WILL NEVER BE WEAK AGAIN! PLEASE JUST MAKE IT STOP! I'LL NEVER CHEAT AGAIN!!

I'm really trying to make it through Demon Slayer cause it was recommended to me by a girl at work but it's so hard. I'm on the 5th season so you can't say I haven't given this my all.

Update: He wanted laundry bleach, I got disinfectant bleach. I told him to dilute it. I woke up at midnight to an eye burning bleach smell in the apartment and had to Crack the window. 🤣 I don't think he diluted it.

Remembering the time I stood there in The Museum of Natural History in NYC watching Night at the Museum because it was playing on the TV in one of the gift shops.

Sup BlueSky it's been a hot minute. Today my husband texted me asking to pick up bleach and I asked him "Laundry bleach or disinfectant bleach." - And now the Autism diagnosis makes sense.

Is summer over yet?

Wise work words from Ali: "There's are people in this world who could screw up making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

First thing I'm doing if I ever get rich is buying a summer home in the southern hemisphere.

They should forgive your scratchpay debt if the pet dies cause why am I still paying for a dead cat? #thisisajoke #imtraumatized

I cannot quit afternoon caffeine. I remembered today that the whole reason I dose myself in the afternoon is to stay focused amd not get ADHD zoomies

Overheard at work except it was me who said it:
Me: Hey Dev, what is the tallest bridge in town?
Dev: Uh I don't know why?
Me: So I can drive my car off of it.
Ang: *Busts out in giggles like a schoolgirl*
Me: Dev is gonna call the cops on me one of these days for a 72 hour hold. 🤣

That ending about not wearing pants SENT ME 🤣 I want the drugs I was on 3 years ago.

I'm the cold wind that touches your face when you have tears in your eyes; The leaf that flutters helplessly on the end of the branch in autumn. I'm an enigma, not meant to be known but yet everyone knows what I am. When the rain pours outside, I'm the birds that play happily in the grass just to pluck a worm from the ground, yet I'm also the worm. I'm the cryptid that groans and screams in the forest as you shiver in your tent begging for the last embers of fire to stay burning so I don't snatch you up. If you don't like soliloquies, just know that I'd really rather you not know me. Don't knock on my door, I'm probably not wearing pants.

I recently got back into my NextDoor App account and my introduction from 3 years ago is so beautifully written 🤣 Holy shit

Made the realization that only men ID me for products nowadays. Fuckers are stroking my ego. 🤣

So I'm talking to my friend and tell him I'm trying to quit afternoon caffeine. I told him it's not going well and I am so exhausted.
He says: "Yeah do me a favor and tell me how many of your meds say 'may cause drowsiness' on them?"
Me: "4 out of the 6"
Him: "Drink your afternoon coffee, bitch"

I'm gonna be on the good side of the robots when they wage war on us because I said thank you and please