It's a Dog's Life...
---------------------
We developed in
a uterus, now a vet
wants to neuter us...
---------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Dendrochronology, by any other name...
----------------------------------
"How can I tell how
old this phone is, dad?" - "Maybe
by counting the rings?"
----------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Second childhood means
being BOTTLE-FED again.
But this time it's Scotch...
---------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

An Englishman Abroad...
--------------------------------------
Hope springs eternal,
but ALICE SPRINGS doesn't - though
no-one quite knows why...
--------------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

In the Tories we
Trussed. Are we making the same
mistake with Kemi?...
-----------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whenever

Just because lead is
dense, it doesn't mean to say
that lead singers are...
------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Wasp-keeping didn't
work out as planned, but there was
always a plan Bee...
------------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

As They Are About Most Things...
--------------------------------------
"What do your cats think
about Trump, son?" - "They're on the
fence, son. All of 'em"...
--------------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Or, God forbid, terraced?...
---------------------------------
How soon before the
'house' of the House of Windsor
becomes a semi?...
--------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever #PrinceAndrew

Who Shot The Serif?...
------------------------------
TIMES NEW ROMAN walks
into a bar. "Sorry, we
don't serve your type here"...
------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

For the All New Semi-Detached House of Windsor's Kitchen?...
------------------------
What would I replace
the Royal Family with? -
A fondue set, please...
------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Grande or Venti, mate?...
-------------------------
Who wants tea when you
can have an 'Iced Pecan Crunch
Oatmilk Latte'? - "ME!"
---------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Stopping eight wars, and
NO Nobel Prize? Serves him right
for telling such lies!...
----------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

"The Abdominal
Snowman? What's that?" - "A Yeti
with a six-pack, son"...
-----------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Running a bath is
great - unlike the SHOWER that's
running our country...
----------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

"Fancy a roll in
the hay, babe?" - "Not half! Ham and
cheese for me, please, luv"...
------------------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

My younger sister
married a German shepherd
last year. Puppy love.
-----------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Whatever Happened to 'Everything in Moderation'?...
----------------------------
Frothing at the mouth
is bad enough, but frothing
at the elbow? Wow!
----------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

You might still die - but only of laughter...
--------------------------
Antidepressants?
None are quite as effective
as Nina Conti!...
--------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaik #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever #NinaConti #ventriloquism

The Film Festival...
-------------------------------
Though SARDINES in cans
look fine, actresses in Cannes
seem quite overdressed...
-------------------------------
5-7-5 #homophones #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

"What would an ageing
artist like to draw most, do
you think? - "A pension?"...
----------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

I'm a bit of a
rebel. I tend to behave
when I'm told not to...
-------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

The Epstein Files...
-------------------
Pleading the Fifth, the
'S' in GHISLAINE continues
to remain silent...
----------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

The Korma Sutra:
Sanskrit text for couples who
don't like it TOO hot...
---------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

"My favourite book?
'A Farewell to Arms', luv," said
Venus de Milo...
------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Stick to BOXED wines - that
way you can always deny
hitting the bottle...
---------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

The Farmer's Dog (Clarkson's Pub)
-----------------------------
With Jeremy's fans
all eating out of his hand,
does his pub NEED plates?...
-----------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

Some days I feel I'm
just too sick to go to work.
I call them weak days.
--------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

You paid for sex?! You've
not just let mum, but me AND
your trousers down, son...
------------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever

'Booze can kill you,' I've
just read. So I've decided
to give up reading...
--------------------------
5-7-5 #haiku #humoroushaiku #humour #17sillybles #senryu #whatever