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She, He, They've Lost A Lot Of Weight

a man wearing sunglasses is singing into a microphone while sitting at a keyboard . ALT: a man wearing sunglasses is singing into a microphone while sitting at a keyboard .

#AlternativeOscarcategories I movie I actually saw

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Best Character Based On A Really Annoying Ex

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Best performance from an actor in a movie after the director was jailed for something unspeakable.

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Can't understand the language but the movie has a cool vibe to it.

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Best seagull performance

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Best Big Scary Monster

Richard Burton.

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The Richard Burton you sound like a wee lassie compared to me best voice award.

Thank you for being with us in person for #AlternativeOscarCategories this Oscars night!

Truly, there was some serious sashaying on the red carpet tonight, as the industry's penguins/peacocks mused on how to improve the Academy.

Follow @CalendarGirlBot for all the latest showbiz and #game news!

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Film most likely to annoy the American President

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The performance most like Wilfred Hyde White

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The surreptitiously nose picking award

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The best Wilde performance

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Stuck up snobby arty farty.

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Most Emotionally Triggering Picture #AlternativeOscarCategories

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Most memorable movie title that can be referenced many times by punning hashtaggers.

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Best post pub script in an animation.

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Best movie created by a bunch of stoners after listening to a concept album.

Special 'Get on with it' award for films that list more than a dozen sponsors and organisations in the film's opening titles. #AlternativeOscarCategories

The best movie cliche of the year. #AlternativeOscarCategories

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Biggest waste of money on a dumb ass logo.

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Best appearance by sporting accessories in a movie #AlternativeOscarCategories

The Eric von Stroheim 'best monocle worn by a director' lifetime award. #AlternativeOscarCategories

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Best amazing, captivating, mesmerizing, awesome and totally addictive series that they, without good cause, cancel.

The 'Which one is he now?' Somerset Maugham award - a quip Maugham made on the set when Spencer Tracy was making 'Jekyll and Hyde'. #AlternativeOscarCategories

a man in a suit and tie says that 's the spirit kid reacher ALT: a man in a suit and tie says that 's the spirit kid reacher

#AlternativeOscarCategories best I'm sure I've seen him in something else

a man with a surprised look on his face and the words oh that 's not gonna happen ALT: a man with a surprised look on his face and the words oh that 's not gonna happen

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Lead performance by an actor who is not playing a historical character or a character who is differently abled