From @docatcdi.com 'DailyPunText' #BadDadJoke 😂🤣
"My friend gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital. Her husband named the kid Carson."
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MLSisTMobile? #baddadjoke
Sean Connery's 2nd favourite sport after golf. 🎾
#BadDadJoke
TIMELINE CLEANSE PUN
At the psychiatrist's office:
Receptionist: "Dr, a man just walked in saying he's invisible."
Dr: "Tell him to make an appointment, I can't see him now."
👀🤪😆🤣😂
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
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👊😆
Cumin people! How did you like this punny reply?
Maybe give it a little more thyme.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
#dadjoke #funny #silly #baddadjoke
This is SO bad it's actually good. 😆🤣
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
What did the optometrist-turned-lawyer say at the end of their closing statement at trial?
"Iris my case."
#BadDadJoke 🤓
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They're definitely good at clock repair.
If you bring in a clock that only 'tics' and leave it with them for a while, they'll fix it!
They start by looking right at it and confidently say:
"Ve haff vays of making you toc". 😳😬😆🤣
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
My real estate agent was showing me houses. He said, "You're really gonna get a kick out of this next one."
It was a round house.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
Darth Vader was always putting people down.
Hs sister Ella, on the other hand, was always lifting people up.
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@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
Two full figured ladies walk in and sit at the bar and order drinks. A man sitting next to them at the bar detects an accent and asks them:
Man: "Are you ladies from Scotland?"
One of the women replies: "Wales!"
Man: "Oh, sorry. Are you whales from Scotland?"
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
Lexie, my fur baby, she likes attention 😅😂🤪 #trend #dog #dogs #dogshorts #smalldog dad joke #dadjoke #comedy #baddadjoke #comedy #trend #funny
linktr.ee/MayGreenAbgr...
What do cannibals call eating clowns?
A happy meal.
Why do cannibals keep all the bones after the meal?
To make laughing stock.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
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Bluesky's "New post" box asks "What's up?".
Me, I'm up.
#dadjoke #baddadjoke
MORE Rejected International sports teams names:
Rome Ancandles
Beirut Abagas
Caracas Trations
Dilli Dallys
Hanoi Ings
Monaco Lewinskis
Moscow Mules
Stockholm Syndromes
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
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I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...? 🤨
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
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Fun fact: the captain of the Pequod loved hockey, and his team was the Montreal Canadiens.
He was Ahab fan.
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@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
What did the snowman's wife place over their snowbaby's crib?
A snowmobile.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
Q: What do you call a fish wearing a suit?
A: Sofishticated.
#BadDadJoke @docatcdi.com
@scottjohnson.zip Ugh! #BadDadJoke
I went to school with a guy who was always counting.
I wonder what he’s up to now?
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
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When you die, what body part dies last?
The pupils, they dilate.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
😎 Good for you, brother! 👍
This calls for a joke for #GroanUps:
I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what scared him more:
My naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived?
Maybe it was the size of my package?
#BadDadJoke @docatcdi.com
#PUNishment
What do fish say when they're swimming along and suddenly hit a wall?
Dam. @docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
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