A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 week ago

Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum WASHINGTON—Threatening to continue issuing threats if the Islamic Republic did not quickly agree to his demands, President Donald Trump warned Iran on Monday to accept his ultimatum or face the wrath ...

#BarelySatire

> Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum theonion.com/trump-warns-...

#Iran #warfare #PendejoInChief #GOP #PartyOfStupid #AmericanEmpire #GunboatDiplomacy #TACOTrump

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 weeks ago

#BarelySatire
#ACAB

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 weeks ago

Florida Bill To Ban First Cousin Marriage Fails To Pass A bill to ban marriage between first cousins failed to pass in the Florida Senate, allowing the state to remain one of more than a dozen in the U.S. where marrying one’s first cousin is legal. What do...

> Florida Bill To Ban First Cousin Marriage Fails To Pass theonion.com/florida-bill...

#BarelySatire. . . or is it?

#Floriduh #marriage #relationships (c)

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

3 weeks ago

Meanwhile, signs of the #BadEconomy.

#BarelySatire

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

3 weeks ago

Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job NEW YORK—Raising the alarm about an increasingly unstable labor market, economists at Columbia University warned in a report published Wednesday that even their friend’s son who went to business schoo...

In signs of the #BadEconomy

> Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job theonion.com/economists-w...

FTA: " If a smart kid like that can’t find a job, what hope do the rest of us have?”

#BarelySatire #work #jobs #labor

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

3 weeks ago

Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World WASHINGTON—Declaring that the United States would no longer bear the full burden of screwing the pooch on a global level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Monday demanding U.S. allies do thei...

> Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World theonion.com/trump-demand...

#BarelySatire #AmericanEmpire #YankeeGoHome #PendejoInChief #warfare #GunboatDiplomacy

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

3 weeks ago

Trump Threatens Airstrikes On U.S. Gas Stations WASHINGTON—In a promise to address the pain Americans were feeling at the pump as his war with Iran approached its fourth week, President Donald Trump threatened Friday to launch airstrikes against U....

> Trump Threatens Airstrikes On U.S. Gas Stations theonion.com/trump-threat...

#BarelySatire, or is it?

#BadEconomy #AmericanEmpire #warfare #BigOil #PendejoInChief #PartyOfStupid #GOP

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

4 weeks ago

Southwest Airlines Begins Assigning Chores DALLAS—Saying the decision had been reached following an extensive internal review of the company’s boarding procedures, Southwest Airlines confirmed Tuesday that passengers would now be assigned chor...

> Southwest Airlines Begins Assigning Chores theonion.com/southwest-ai...

#BarelySatire but given #FastFood restaurants already do this, example busing your own table, I would not be surprised down the road.

#FlyingCattleCars

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

4 weeks ago

#BarelySatire. I'd laugh but certain employer just told us we need to be "learning" #AISlop because "wave of future or something" and "encouraged" to get a #sloperator certificate (i.e. be a shame if you could not keep your job). (e)

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

4 weeks ago

Poll: Nearly 1 In 10 Adults Have Postponed Retirement Due To Healthcare Costs A survey from West Health-Gallup found that nearly one in 10 adults say they’ve postponed retirement because of healthcare costs, with many respondents also reporting delaying job changes, home buying...

> Poll: Nearly 1 In 10 Adults Have Postponed Retirement Due To Healthcare Costs theonion.com/poll-nearly-...

#BarelySatire, and I mean seriously barely.

#HealthCare #BadEconomy #ThisIsAmerica

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Actually, Al Qaeda, ISIS, so on can just sit back and let the #AmericanEmpire destroy itself.

theonion.com/fbi-uncovers...

#BarelySatire

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Democrats Wear White Flag Pins To SOTU To Indicate Surrender

> Democrats Wear White Flag Pins To SOTU To Indicate Surrender theonion.com/democrats-we...

#BarelySatire #SOTU #RepublicanLite #useless

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Oscars organisers desperately trying to work out how to politely refuse entry to Tourette’s sufferers Oscar ceremony bosses are desperately trying to work out the best way to politely refuse entry to anyone suffering from Tourette’s Syndrome.

> Oscars organisers desperately trying to work out how to politely refuse entry to Tourette’s sufferers newsthump.com/2026/02/25/o...

Oh dear.

#BarelySatire #BAFTAs #Oscars

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Trump supporters to continue with comforting misapprehension that other countries have been paying the tariffs in same way Mexico ‘paid for the wall’ Donald Trump’s Supreme Court rebuke over his tariffs has been loudly criticised by those supporters who still don’t know how tariffs work.

Very #BarelySatire

> Trump supporters to continue with comforting misapprehension that other countries have been paying the tariffs in same way Mexico ‘paid for the wall’ newsthump.com/2026/02/21/t...

#PendejoInChief #GOP #PartyOfStupid #BadEconomy

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

*Sigh* If only. . .

#BarelySatire

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Bill Gates Releases Epstein Island Reading List To inspire evermore intellectual discourse and transparency about what high-minded topics one of the richest men alive is pondering these days, today Bill Gates released his highly anticipated and …

> Bill Gates Releases Epstein Island Reading List theneedling.com/2026/02/17/b...

#BarelySatire #books #reading #list

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico WASHINGTON—Hailing the move as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory, conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA announced Thursday that it was setting up an alte...

> Turning Point USA Announces Alternative Puerto Rico theonion.com/turning-poin...

Please, do not give them ideas.

#PuertoRico #BarelySatire #ToiletPaperUSA #BackInTheUSColony

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Tips For Observing Lent Catholics around the world will soon enter the Lenten season, an annual 40-day period of sacrifice, prayer, and repentance that ends on Easter Sunday. The Onion shares tips for observing Lent. Try sta...

Some #Catholic #humor.

> Tips For Observing Lent theonion.com/tips-for-obs...

FTA: "Remind your children that they’re fasting because of the Lord and not because you can’t afford groceries."

#religion #Christian #lent #BarelySatire

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

1 month ago

Doctors discover new link between rising measles cases among children and their parents being gullible morons After measles cases began rising rapidly in parts of London, doctors discovered a link between children who get measles and the likelihood of their parents being gullible simpletons.

> Doctors discover new link between rising measles cases among children and their parents being gullible morons newsthump.com/2026/02/16/d...

Not even trying for #BarelySatire here.

#stupid #BringBackMeasles #CullTheHerd

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

DraftKings Introduces In-Dream Betting BOSTON—In a move hailed as a breakthrough for round-the-clock gambling, sports betting company DraftKings announced Tuesday that users would now be able to place wagers directly from within their drea...

> DraftKings Introduces In-Dream Betting theonion.com/draftkings-i...

#BarelySatire #gambling #betting #Sportsball

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

Rampant consumerism celebrates 60th consecutive Super Bowl victory Marketing professionals are celebrating yet another magnificent victory in yesterday’s Super Bowl LIX, after securing unprecedented levels of coverage for their range of tawdry products.

And speaking of the #sportsball event. #BarelySatire

> Rampant consumerism celebrates 60th consecutive Super Bowl victory newsthump.com/2026/02/09/r...

#SuperbOwl #advertising #ads #BadEconomy

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

Conservatives Boycott All Forms Of Entertainment WASHINGTON—Decrying the un-American nature of any activity intended to provide amusement or the slightest bit of diversion, conservatives across the country announced an immediate boycott Tuesday of a...

> Conservatives Boycott All Forms Of Entertainment theonion.com/conservative...

#BarelySatire #GOP #PartyOfStupid #media #entertainment #Killjoy

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

Giant snowflake to issue lawsuit over joke he didn’t like A Giant Snowflake has confirmed plans to sue a comedian after heroically standing up for free speech by attempting to crush it with a team of lawyers.

> Giant snowflake to issue lawsuit over joke he didn’t like newsthump.com/2026/02/03/g...

#BarelySatire #PendejoInChief ❄️ #GOP #PartyOfStupid

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

North American Black History Month kicks off with the now traditional ‘wailing of the c*nts’ Black History Month has officially begun across North America with the ritual social media harping of predictable fuckwits making tedious comments as to not having a month for other ethnic groups o…

> North American Black History Month kicks off with the now traditional ‘wailing of the c*nts’ newsthump.com/2026/02/03/n...

#BarelySatire #BHM #BlackHistoryMonth #BlackMastodon

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

People who did ‘Dry January’ not feeling so smug today, finds study People who abstained from alcohol throughout January are today feeling like shit warmed up, a study has revealed.

#BarelySatire

> People who did ‘Dry January’ not feeling so smug today, finds study newsthump.com/2026/02/02/p...

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

‘Innocent people don’t take guns to a protest’, insists man who spent three years insisting Kyle Rittenhouse did nothing wrong A man who has dedicated an impressive chunk of his adult life to explaining why Kyle Rittenhouse was “basically Batman, legally speaking” has today confirmed that, actually, taking a legally-held g…

> ‘Innocent people don’t take guns to a protest’, insists man who spent three years insisting Kyle Rittenhouse did nothing wrong newsthump.com/2026/01/26/i...

#BarelySatire #ammosexuals #gundamentalists #ThisIsAmerica #BoycottUSA

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

Trump finally comes out in support of gun control after learning people he doesn’t like also have guns Donald Trump has publicly come out in support of gun control after the shooting of Alex Pretti in Minnesota, after finally learning that it’s not just Republicans who are allowed to walk arou…

> Trump finally comes out in support of gun control after learning people he doesn’t like also have guns newsthump.com/2026/01/28/t...

Not even trying for #BarelySatire here. #ThisIsAmerica

#racism #gundamentalists #ammosexuals #PendejoInChief #GOP #PartyOfStupid

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

Man who loves free speech really can’t handle it when people use theirs to disagree with him A man who makes a really big deal about how important he thinks free speech is, continues to have a massive hissy fit if you use yours to call out his bullshit, it has emerged.

> Man who loves free speech really can’t handle it when people use theirs to disagree with him newsthump.com/2026/01/21/m...

Very #BarelySatire

#SocialMedia #FreeSpeech #CivilRights #assholes

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

School PTA raises over £50k by promising no events in 2026 A West Yorkshire primary school has succeeded in raising an astonishing £50,000 by charging £100 per family, in exchange for cancelling all PTA events throughout 2024.

> School PTA raises over £50k by promising no events in 2026 newsthump.com/2026/01/21/s...

#BarelySatire TBH, I'd be happy to just write a check if they left me alone.

#school

A. Rivera

@bloodravenlib.bsky.social

2 months ago

#BarelySatire

#MLK