Drop something WOODEN 🪵🪾🖤🪑🏚️

@phelous.bsky.social @allisonpregler.bsky.social #WoodenRod #BirdemicShockandTerror #Birdemic

If the hundreds of posts I wrote yesterday (about #BirdemicShockAndTerror) have convinced you the film isn’t worth watching, this short clip will change your mind! Ⓐ
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKea...

One more thing - if the human child characters in #BirdemicShockAndTerror had been killed by birds - the movie would be a 10/10. But since the children survived - I am forced to give this otherwise great movie a 9/10. Well, the children probably have PTSD. But who cares about that? Ⓐ

In closing, it’s clear #JamesNguyen went to the #NeilBreen school of filmmaking - #BirdemicShockAndTerror is NOT unintentionally hilarious. ALL of the humour in this film - is INTENTIONAL! So it’s actually a well-crafted film, that some anarcho-primitivists might… uh… appreciate. Ⓐ

Another thing that must be emphasized about #BirdemicShockAndTerror - the heroes are TOLD that the birds are focused on destroying human technology that runs on or dispenses fossil fuels. But the heroes spend almost the entire remainder of the film in their van - often while machine-gunning birds. Ⓐ

Sample dialogue in #BirdemicShockAndTerror:
#Hero: “Damnit! We ran out of gas!”
#Blonde: “What are we gonna do?”
#Hero: “If we’re lucky, someone might drive by.”
[Before he even finishes saying that sentence, a car can be heard approaching - even though they are on a supposedly deserted road]. Ⓐ

Other heroes appear in #BirdemicShockAndTerror. One is male, the other female, and they’re lovers. At one point, the male unabashedly announces his girlfriend is “taking a shit”. Then the camera cuts to her with a roll of toilet paper - but before she can move her bowels, A BIRD KILLS HER. Ⓐ

Funny thing about #BirdemicShockAndTerror - it features human heroes using coat hangers to stab at ferocious (and hilariously animated) birds. So if you think that looks ridiculous in this film - give #JohnCarpenter’s original #Halloween a re-watch. Then get back to me. Ⓐ

In #BirdemicShockAndTerror, the hero and the blonde fuck. THEN swarms of superlethal birds are everywhere - and some go into kamikaze mode. So some birds dive bomb their target (while emitting the sound of a nosediving airplane in freefall). When some of these birds crash, they EXPLODE IN FLAMES. Ⓐ

Sample dialogue in #BirdemicShockAndTerror:
#Hero: “The sea is so beautiful.”
[Camera cuts to the incredibly violent and massive waves of the sea].
#Blonde: “Yes, it is.”
[Her reply is difficult to hear, because of the apparent hurricane roaring around them, on what is (at times) an overcast day]. Ⓐ

Sample dialogue in #BirdemicShockAndTerror:
#MaleFriend: “With that new fashion model chick, you might want to impress her - with a Ferrari.”
#Terry: “No. I’ll loan her a good book!”
#MaleFriend: “When are ya gonna grow up man? Chicks love cars!”
#Terry: “You’re right. I’ll buy myself a Ferrari.” Ⓐ

We learn, in the film #BirdemicShockAndTerror, that software salesmen have a reputation for being honest and highly empathetic. So I guess that’s a World where EVERY software salesman is terrible at their job (except the hero, of course). Ⓐ

So after some hilariously sterile dialogue while the hero and the blonde are on their date (in the film #BirdemicShockAndTerror), they notice three hilariously animated birds - that are flying in slow motion. But the rest of the World is in normal motion! The lovers are appropriately nonplussed. Ⓐ

The hero and the blonde (in the film #BirdemicShockAndTerror) schedule a date at a Vietnamese restaurant. When they arrive, there’s generic “Asian” music playing - the sort you’d hear in a kung fu movie. But HOLD ON, they’re eating at a Thai restaurant. I wonder if they serve hamburgers. Ⓐ

In #BirdemicShockAndTerror, shortly after our hero negotiates a million dollar business deal - the blonde hears she’s been chosen to be a cover model for #VictoriasSecret (even though we only see her photographed fully clothed). I love how this film focuses on the lives of everyday working people. Ⓐ

The film #BirdemicShockAndTerror reveals that polar bears aren’t too bright - as the sea ice in the Arctic melts, the polar bears move North (instead of South, where there’s land). So… I guess as far as the polar bears go - they’re asking for extinction? Ⓐ

In #BirdemicShockAndTerror, our male hero starts a chat with the blonde female he ogled - and they both realize they went to the same high school.
Sample dialogue:
#Blonde: “Here’s my card.”
#Hero: “Here’s mine.”
#Terry: “And here’s mine. Spit roasts are SO ROMANTIC!” Ⓐ

Near the start of #BirdemicShockAndTerror, our hero scans a menu in a restaurant - then he ogles a blonde. And that guy is so shameless, that as she exits the restaurant - he brazenly leans over to stare at her ass for a few more seconds. Then he RUNS out of the restaurant, to see more of her. Ⓐ

Having RECENTLY seen #TheBirds and #TheBirdsIILandsEnd, it was clear I must see the #BirdemicTrilogy. Much to my amusement, I forgot that I liked The Birds. But that film is not nearly as awesome as #BirdemicShockAndTerror - the music of that film’s opening scene is HILARIOUSLY PERFECT. Ⓐ

Movie TV Tech Geeks #Movie #TheRoom #BirdemicShockandTerror 10 Must-Watch So-Bad-It's-Good Movies, Ranked http://dlvr.it/TJbZmL

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