This post is free (FREE!) in honor of President’s Day. Enjoy and subscribe!

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/from-the-a...
#PresidentsDay #satirenews #medicalsatire

“We have all of the standards, such as multiple roller coasters, a Merry-Go-Round, flushing toilets, etc.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/super-bowl...
#superbowl #SuperBowlMVP #disneyworld #medicalsatire

Surgeon traded to rival hospital at the deadline "As a rule, we also do not allow no-trade clauses in our contracts. It just causes so many problems giving the providers that much control over their lives.”

“The non-compete clause has nothing to do with our ability to trade them, it’s just something we utilize when it’s convenient for us.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/surgeon-tr...
#TradeDeadline #noncompete #medicalsatire #medicalhumor #HospitalStories

RESEARCH ABSTRACT: Safety and efficacy of a brand name placebo compared to a generic placebo in randomized controlled trials--an industry-sponsored randomized controlled trial "Deebo Placebos rule, and generic placebos drool."

“Look, we’re corporate America and we don’t mess around. All researchers need to use Deebo Placebos in all studies from now on. Or else.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/research-a...
#research #Placebo #placeboeffect #BigPharma #medicalhumor #medicalsatire

Internist running 29 hours behind schedule in clinic "But if they’re a new patient, they’re still charged if they’re 30 minutes late to their appointment."

“I had a colleague that was a week behind once! It turns out he had been dead for six days, but whatever.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/internist-...
#doctorwaittimes #waitingroom #slowdoctors #drwaittimes #medicalsatire

CENSORED POST We here at the Hypocritic Oath take censorship very seriously.

“We support all manner of strict censorship and media control.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/censored-p...
#censorship #groundhog #medicalsatire #medicalhumor

The doctor's outfit that everyone will be wearing this fall "Her healing art of fashion is almost enough to make me want to go to medical school."

“One wouldn’t be caught dead in such a shawl without a stethoscopic appurtenance!”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/the-doctor...

#medicalsatire #fashion #DoctorFashion #parisfashionweek

Nation's doctors start new media streaming service, Binge&Purge Max "It will be playing in every medical waiting room across the country."

“Each individual show or movie you’d like to watch will require a prescription from your physician.”

This one’s FREE so you have no excuse not to read it

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/nations-do...
#medicalsatire #streamingservice #streamingnow

Research: Rate of physicians spending time off binge-watching medical television shows to identify medical inaccuracies "We found that such practices lead to divorce, murder, and even spontaneous combustion."

“We found that such practices lead to divorce, murder, and even spontaneous combustion.”
hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/research-r...
#medicaldrama #complainingdr #greysanatomy #medicalsatire

RFK Jr. opens new online medical school "Finally we have someone who agrees with our unsubstantiated opinions," said Mary Terwilliger, an advocate from Children Deserve to Have Measles if They Want to.

“There is a need for a new type of medical education, one without the use of confusing science and research.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/rfk-jr-ope...
#meded #MedicalEducation #medicalsatire #RFKjr

Doctor of the Year 2025 Today, we honor him and his legacy. And his generous donation.

A FREE Hypocritic Oath article for your #medicalsatire viewing pleasure. Free! Free, I tells ya!

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/doctor-of-...
#DoctorOfTheYear #golflife #golfing

Doctor three months behind on documentation, cites writers block "I have no choice but to suspend his privileges to the Doctor's Lounge AND his private urinal until he fixes this."

Writers Block, or the Inability to Write Good Syndrome, probably effects someone you love. Find out more about it below.

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/doctor-thr...
#writersblock #medicalsatire

Joint statement from all of the professional medical organizations for National Immunization Awareness Month "We prepared a report of all of the scientific evidence about the safety of vaccines, and it's like 500,000 pages or something! It's REALLY long!"

Always remember to be aware of #immunizations!

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/joint-stat...
#ImmunizationAwareness #ImmunizationAwarenessMonth #antivax #medicalsatire

The Joint Commission Hospital Citation of the Month--August "Reports that cucumbers were being pickled in formaldehyde for use in the cafeteria."

“Complaint: Reports that cucumbers were being pickled in formaldehyde for use in the cafeteria.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/the-joint-...
#pickles #medicalsatire #JointCommission

Excerpt from the wildly hilarious HOSPITAL! A Medical Satire of Unhealthy Proportions "My dad wrote this book." --Guinevere, age 6

Check out this FREE excerpt from the groundbreaking HOSPITAL! A Medical Satire of Unhealthy Proportions, and find out how to get your OWN SIGNED copy.

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/excerpt-fr...

#medicalsatire #BookExcerpt #fish #HospitalStories

Scientific revival erupts after an image of a stethoscope appears on a pancake in Georgia "It isn't really a stethoscope; it's our soul on that pancake. It shows that I exist. That you exist. That pancakes really do exist."

“It isn't really a stethoscope; it's our soul on that pancake. It shows that I exist. That you exist. That pancakes really do exist. Isn't that the most wonderful thing you've ever seen?"
hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/scientific...
#medicalsatire #pancakes #stethoscope #science #ScientificRevolution

AI Takes ICU Job, Gets Coffee Instead of Full Implementation Again #AI #IntensiveCareUnit #FuturismFail #MedicalSatire #RobotsOnCoffeeBreak By: TheJestPress.com **AI in the ICU: Still Mostly Just PowerPoint Slides and ChadGPT** In what seemed like a plotline straight out of a dystopian future—minus the actual robots—medical researchers have announced the shocking results of their latest systematic review: Despite thousands of PowerPoint presentations and at least three startups named “CureBot,” not a single artificial intelligence model has achieved full implementation in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

AI Takes ICU Job, Gets Coffee Instead of Full Implementation Again

#AI #IntensiveCareUnit #FuturismFail #MedicalSatire #RobotsOnCoffeeBreak By: TheJestPress.com **AI in the ICU: Still Mostly Just PowerPoint Slides and ChadGPT** In what seemed like a plotline straight out of a dystopian…

Doctor requires all patients to pre-record their histories so he can listen back at 1.5x speed “I'm used to listening to podcasts and audiobooks at 1.5 times sped up, so why not people?”

“I'm used to listening to podcasts and audiobooks at 1.5 times sped up, so why not people?”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/doctor-req...

#medicalsatire #playback #playbackspeed #listening

Impact of clowns and magician performances on pediatric cancer morbidity--RESEARCH ABSTRACT "Morbidity of the participants from clowns and magicians declined by, like, a lot."

“Morbidity of the participants from clowns and magicians declined by, like, a lot.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/impact-of-...
#medicalresearch #clowns #magician #medicalhumor #medicalsatire

Student's History and Physical reveals plot twist of Dan Brown's next novel when read backwards "Who the hell is Dan Brown?"

“Who cares? Nobody reads Dan Brown anymore."

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/students-h...

#medicalsatire #danbrown #backwardsmessages

Vertigo Tilt-a-World Chronicles” The Floor Has Trust Issues

Vertigo Tilt-a-World Chronicles” #VertigoChronicles
#InnerEarMutiny
#BalanceIsAScam
#MedicalSatire
#LifeTiltsHard
#SpinDoctorsCan’tFixThis
#WalkLikeYouMeanItEvenIfYouCan’t
#SemicircularCanalsOfHell

Vertigo Tilt-a-World Chronicles” The Floor Has Trust Issues

Vertigo Tilt-a-World Chronicles” #VertigoChronicles
#InnerEarMutiny
#BalanceIsAScam
#MedicalSatire
#LifeTiltsHard
#SpinDoctorsCan’tFixThis
#WalkLikeYouMeanItEvenIfYouCan’t
#SemicircularCanalsOfHell

Nations actors declare that stethoscopes should be placed in ears backwards “Learn how to act, and then I'll listen to you on how to wear the stethoscope. See what I did there?”

“Learn how to act, and then I'll listen to you on how to wear the stethoscope. See what I did there? 'Listen'? Pretty good, huh?”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/nations-ac...

#medicalsatire #stethoscope #medicaldrama #acting

Backlash rages against coverage of Prior Authorization: The Musical A special editorial response to the growing controversy: "This whole thing could have been avoided if there were more subscribers and thus we had more revenue to work with."

How does the Hypocritic Oath respond to controversy? With aplomb and absence of remorse! Check out the hubbub below:

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/backlash-r...

#broadwaymusicals #fakenews #medicalsatire #playreviews

Hospital employee satisfaction when CEO leaves for summer break--Research Abstract "Why in the world don't we get summers off?!"

The research is pretty definitive.

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/hospital-e...
#medicalsatire #HospitalAdministration #ceolife #employeesatisfaction

Brace yourselves, patients. The medical rampage is real!

#MedicalSatire #WhiteCoatWildBoar

Correlation between swan-folded surgical towels and physician wellness--Research Abstract "Not again."

“Not again.”

hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/correlatio...

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #medicalsatire #swanfoldedtowels

New England Journal of Medicine releases first-annual Swimsuit issue "This is the best way we know how to support Mental Health Awareness Month."

The article is FREE this week! As in, you don’t have to pay for it! As in, it comes at no cost to you! So read it and revel in the joy of medical satire.
#medicalsatire #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
hypocriticoath.substack.com/p/new-englan...

Be aware of your mental health so the month can also be aware.

Hypocriticoath.substack.com

#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #medicalsatire

I lost my medical license due to an ill-advised March Madness bet "I've probably won thousands of dollars over the last couple of decades, and I've NEVER come in last. Until this year."

"I've probably won thousands of dollars over the last couple of decades, and I've NEVER come in last. Until this year."

open.substack.com/pub/hypocrit...

#medicalsatire #marchmadness