#NewsBiscuit

Nigel Farage Under Investigation For Sheep Worrying Police are investigating multiple reports of 'aggravated livestock worrying' in the Romney Marsh area, following claims that local flocks have been subjected to 'prolonged and distressing geopolitical...

My latest scoop for #newsbiscuit www.newsbiscuit.com/post/nigel-f...

I was on this month's #NewsBiscuit podcast, if you like some people trying to be funny* about the month's news. Have a listen here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zgN...

* - not always successfully

Nation’s haunted ask ghosts to stop being dicks about it Residents of the nation’s most haunted homes have come together to demand their ghosts stop being such dicks.

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/nation-...

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Farage: not enough racists in our adverts, these days Leader of Reform UK, Nigel Farage, today attempted to double down on Reform MP Sarah Pochin's comments where she complained about adverts being 'full' of black and Asian people."Well, I think she's ri...

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/farage-...

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Donald Trump wins Nobel Participation Prize The Nobel Foundation, based in Sweden, today announced that Donald Trump has been awarded a special Nobel Participation Award in recognition of his active role in global politics, physics, chemistry, ...

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/donald-...

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Trump’s Peace deal cedes new state for Palestine near West Bromwich In a little known clause within the peace deal brokered by the US President Donald Trump, Palestinians have been given the right to establish a new state near West Bromwich in the East Midlands of the...

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/trump-s...

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High Conservative levels damage communities, nation warned The government must do more to promote integration and look away from problems caused by Conservative rhetoric out of a fear of the “small minded bigots” researchers have reported today. Researchers w...

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/high-co...

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UK’s whimsy reserves at a record low A report in to the UK’s whimsey levels show that reserves are at their lowest level since the end of World War 2.“It’s somewhat of a crisis”, said Sir Brian Peckworth, the UK’s Lead Whimsey Auditor, “...

UK’s whimsy reserves at a record low ino.to/XmKyf2i #newsbiscuit

Confused journalists wake up in abandoned Conservative Conference A confused scene this morning, at the Conservative Conference, as a group of 25 or so journalists woke up to find the venue had been largely abandoned and they were the only ones left."It was weird", ...

Confused journalists wake up in abandoned Conservative Conference ino.to/i750ak5 #newsbiscuit

Police to be given powers to make up emergency laws on the fly The UK Government have confirmed that Police are to be given new powers to make up emergency laws on fly should situations require them.“Too long have UK Law Enforcement had to suffer the indignity of...

Police to be given powers to make up emergency laws on the fly ino.to/TLFJs0Y #newsbiscuit

Gaza interim leader Blair calls Gordon Brown in for "one last job" The potential new Gaza authority interim leader, Tony Blair, is looking to bring in former Deputy and PM Gordon Brown for "one last job". An exclusive transcript of the call has reached us here at New...

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/gaza-in...

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Shock and outrage as Farage reveals secret swan meat addiction shame Reform UK leader, Nigel Farage, today revealed that his latest tirade about migrants eating swans in Royal Parks were in fact a smokescreen for his own swan meat addiction."I can no longer keep it a s...

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/shock-a...

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Scientists discover link between orange makeup and sociopathy US Scientists have discovered a causal link between the excessive use of orange make up, especially haphazardly applied to the face area, and sociopathy.

Scientists discover link between orange makeup and sociopathy

www.newsbiscuit.com/post/scienti...

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Incredible. RT @SciencePunk: Journalists create world’s first artificial news story http://bit.ly/aFF0I4 #NewsBiscuit Haha missed this gem