Socko is going to let Americans sign a waiver that allows you to eat dangerous shit like the Panera Pink Lemonade That Kills You because you are an American.
#SOCKO2028
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Hashtag
#SOCKO2028
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ITLL BE THE GATLINBURG OF THE PACIFIC
#SOCKO2028
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YOU CAN PAY TO HUNT THEM LIKE THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
#SOCKO2028
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We’re going to turn Little St. James into Guantanamo for pedophiles
#SOCKO2028
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Whoever gets more medals at the Olympics gets named Captain America
#SOCKO2028
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CAMPAIGN SLOGAN:
“SOCKO: HE LITERALLY COULDN’T DO ANY WORSE”
#SOCKO2028
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PRO-JENKUM
#SOCKO2028
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Socko will independently fund Ugly Americans season 3
#SOCKO2028
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When elected, Socko is going to lock Rian Johnson in a basement with enough Adderall to kill an elephant and a personal coffee cafe and have him do nothing but make Knives Out films
#SOCKO2028
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That one scene in human centipede 3 where all the prisoners are making one big human centipede
When elected, Socko has a non-violent way to make sure ICE, MAGA, and any other supporter of the current regime repay their overwhelming debt to society
#SOCKO2028
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PENJAMINS FOR EVERYONE
#SOCKO2028
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All government employees must sign off their emails with “I love you”
#SOCKO2028
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We’re gonna have our own version of knighting
You get to put Sir in front of your name
#SOCKO2028
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When Socko is elected president, everyone will have a garage big enough for a local 4-piece punk band
#SOCKO2028
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GAY MARRIAGE?
MANDATORY
#SOCKO2028
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GOURMET MRE’S
#SOCKO2028
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WE’RE SWITCHING TO THE METRIC SYSTEM
#SOCKO2028
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You know when you sit down to poop and a bit of hair is tangled on your hole so when you sit down it painfully rips to two hairs apart?
Mandatory for all criminals.
#SOCKO2028
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DAY OF THE DEAD WILL BE A FEDERAL HOLIDAY
#SOCKO2028
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Is crazy that one service going down blacksout multiple different websites and services
AS PRESIDENT SOCKO WILL MAKE IT TO WHERE WE’LL HAVE REDUNDANCIES UPON REDUNDANCIES TO MAKE SURE YOURE ABLE TO ACCESS YOUR STUFF AT ALL TIMES
ALSO BREAKING UP AMAZON
#SOCKO2028
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AS PRESIDENT, SOCKO WILL MANDATE THAT ALL ELECTRONIC COMPANIES THAT OPERATE IN AMERICA *MUST* HAVE A QUICK, EASY, AND STRAIGHTFORWARD WAY FOR CONSUMERS TO SAFELY RECYCLE THEIR E-WASTE AND ALSO PASS RIGOROUS GOVERNMENTAL SAFETY CHECKS FOR THE DISPOSAL OF SAID E-WASTE
#SOCKO2028
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SOCKO KNOWS HE JOKES ABOUT THE FRENCH ALOT BUT SOCKO WANTS THE FRENCH TO KNOW THAT *YOU* ARE AMERICA’S FIRST AND BEST ALLY
AMERICA WAS ABLE TO REVOLT AGAINST THE REDCLOATS BECAUSE OF U WE THEN SHAFTED YOU HARD WHEN YOU HAD YOUR OWN REVOLUTION. SOCKO CALLS FOR A DECLARATION OF FRIENDSHIP
#SOCKO2028
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SOCKO IS THE ONLY PRESIDENT WILLING TO INSTITUTE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL INTELLIGENCE BY THIRD GRADE
BY THIRD GRADE, THIRD GRADERS SHOULD LEARN THE BASIC WHEEL OF EMOTIONS AND HOW THEIR BODIES WORK ON A BASIC LEVEL
BY SIXTH, THEY SHOULD KNOWLEDGABLE OF EMOTIONS AND HOW THEIR BODY WORKS
#SOCKO2028
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FIRST ACT AS PRESIDENT
NATIONALIZE THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS AND MERGE IT WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF RECORDS
BEATING WORLD RECORDS WOULD BE THE NEW FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION NEXT TO KICKASS AIR SHOW AND CHILI COOK OFF
#SOCKO2028
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Socko’s thought long and hard about it and has consulted many experts in the field and determined that not only is huffing paint a fun way to meet friends, but the god given right of every American.
Socko is now proudly the only pro-paint huffing politician
#SOCKO2028
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Socko’s keeping it a buck he forgot what he was gonna do
That being said we’re still doing this
#ForTheBit
#SOCKO2028
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Forgot what Socko was gonna say.
#SOCKO2028
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