I am convinced that every time a sock goes missing it comes back as a tupperware lid. #seenonateeshirt
#Seenonateeshirt
You can't ghost me. I grew up waiting 6-8 weeks for mail order cerreal toys. #seenonateeshirt
Reading won't solve your problems, but neither will dusting. Choose wisely. #Seenonateeshirt
Be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody #seenonateeshirt
Theiyr're--all you need #seenonateeshirt
If at first you don't succeed, try 2 more times so that your failure is statistically significant #seenonateeshirt
Before you let your mind wander, make sure its equipped to be out on its own #seenonateeshirt
Don't be the reason I finally get my own episode of Snapped. #seenonateeshirt
I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made-up scenarios in my head that are stressing me out for no logical reason. #seenonateeshirt
Right now, Chocolate is good for you and Romaine lettuce can kill you. I've waited for this moment all my life. #seenonateeshirt
Forcing yourself to smile when you are in a lousy mood can turn that mood around. #seenonateeshirt
Home is any place you don;t have to wear pants. #seenonateeshirt
A woman wearing a dress with pockets never fails to mention those pockets when you compliment her dress. #seenonateeshirt
With the increase in self-driving vehicles, there will soon be a country song abuot how your truck left you, too. #seenonateeshirt
A new study links drinking coffee to a longer lifespan. Awesome. I'm going to be immortal #seenonateeshirt
Keep Talking: I'm diagnosing you. #seenonateeshirt
WALMART: You go in for cookies and pudding and come out questioning the fate of the human race. #seenonateeshirt
The sun is alone, too, but it still shines. #seenonateeshirt
It's the start of a brand new day and I'm off like a herd of turtles. #seenonateeshirt
Call me old-fashioned, but i believe marriage should be between a person who hates pickles and another person who will eat that pickle. #seenonateeshirt
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. #seenonateeshirt
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me. #seenonateeshirt
I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is. #seenonateeshirt
I meant to behave but there were too many other options. #seenonateeshirt
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee. #seenonateeshirt
I went grocery shopping on a empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle six. #seenonateeshirt
If you can't think of a word, say 'I forgot the English word for it.' That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot #seenonateeshirt
Nothing screws up your Friday like realizing it's only Tuesday. #seenonateeshirt
In my next life I'm coming back with money and looks instead of all this sparkling personality crap. #seenonateeshirt
If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown #seenonateeshirt