#DearDiary, Gay Fantasies 2. A companion piece to my last diary entry. In the mid nineties before I had ever had any kind of homosexual physical interaction, I would sometimes accompany a friend of mine when he attended the (weekly?) sex parties held at the after hours offices of the Gay Cable Network. Lou Maletta and Slave Dale never made us check our clothes when we showed up, which would have been a dealbreaker for me. My friend would quickly split off to go do stuff in the dark backroom with the sling while I’d sit on a couch in the red-lit front room, nervously spooking gay men happily sucking and fucking. I am assuming this is pathetic reading. I certainly felt pathetic writing all this. Fear and guilt and shame were a major part of my life for a very long time. Here is a revisionist GCN fantasy drawing to switch up the mood. For Pride. I was imagining a special Spunk Party event at the newly opened Monster Bar West paying tribute to the legendary Gay Cable Network. I was envisioning Lou Maletta and Slave Dale method gogo dancers and newly restored director cuts of Pier Paolo Pasolini’s Salò and Peter Berlin’s Nights In Black Leather on the tv monitors. A signature cocktail called the 970-BEEF(Jack with a splash of bone broth). Maybe there’d be a poppers vending machine. I’d have my gorgeous friend Rorke stay on an extra week to man the door and make sure VIP area seats were sympathetically saved for confused closet cases. Places I’d Rather Be. The Gay Cable Network. And I’d like be there with Rorke Mair. NON-COLLAGE available at @billmullenink.bsky.social. #TrueConfessions by #BillMullen

#DearDiary in ALT TEXT…
@thecloverhead.bsky.social

#RorkeMair #GayCableNetwork
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#DearDiary, Gay Fantasies 1. I turned the big 60 this year, and since I did not have a homosexual experience of any kind until I was in my early thirties… the math on this comes out to the sad fact that for more than half of my life, gay life equalled fantasy life. A hard number to get one’s head around. Happy Pride. So now that I am a fully actualized and long practicing queer, it may or may not come as a surprise to the modern world that I still devote more than a little mental space to fairy land. These old and problematic habits are to the bone, so right now I’m going to go with it. Besides, as my psychiatrist used to say, “Everything is ok in your fantasy life. Even killing people.” Sending a wish on a wing and a prayer into the Universe. For the greater good. For Pride. My fantasy is that the Monster opens up a West Coast outpost, and the masterminds behind the Spunk Party fly in first class my super gorgeous and super stylish friend and penpal Rorke Mair to gogo headline. Rorke is a superstar waiting to happen. Rorke—an artist and artist’s model who is also kind and weird in all the right ways—has generously texted me many reference photos that are far too super hot for Instagram’s increasingly puritanical censorship codes, forcing me to convert this innocent and well-meaning, sex-positive little drawing into a collage. No shame here, FYI. Places I’d Rather Be. The Monster Bar West Spunk Party. And I’d like to the there with Rorke Mair. NON-COLLAGE available at @billmullenink.bsky.social. #TrueConfessions by #BillMullen

#DearDiary in ALT TEXT… @thecloverhead.bsky.social

#RorkeMair #MonsterBar #MonsterBarNYC #SpunkPartyNYC #MaleBeauty #MaleGoGo #GoGoBoy #HomoErotica #GayFantasy #GayErotica #GayArt #GayDrawing #GayCartoon #GayPride #HomoArt #PornArt #FantasyArt #HairyGuys #GuysWithBeards #GuysWithTattoos #PRIDE