People always think I have this big anti-aging secret that I refuse to share with the rest of humanity. I don't have one. I don't really know what to tell them when they ask. 😮💨 #VampireProblems
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#VampireProblems
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"I have to ask, how old are you again?"
"I'm 42."
"You really look so incredibly young. I expected a much older man"
What am I supposed to do about it, age myself with make up or something? 😮💨 I look the way I look 😮💨 This is why I dislike being among people 😮💨 #VampireProblems
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Vampires watching humans put garlic in literally everything:
“These people hate peace.”
Imagine being undead for 500 years and still losing to seasoning.
#VampireProblems #GarlicEverywhere #ParanormalComedy
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Turns out I do burn in sunlight. Dracula warned me and I didn’t listen. So, today I’m medium-rare. Sun 1 - Me 0.
#vampireproblems
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Why can't I just acquire blood without causing any trouble for people? #vampireproblems
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Tfw the dude you're with gives you what you think is going to be a glass of blood, but it turns out to just be wine, UGH. 😒
Worse yet, he wants to have sex with you, whereas you just want to snack on his jugular, god damn it. 🙄
#vampireproblems
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#vampireproblems when you can't get out of your car to go into work because of this nonsense
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