"I'm sorry I made it so hard for you"
Yes I'm sure you are.
#wavewalker
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#Wavewalker
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Still waiting. Read the first week of email exchanges in 2014. Looked at the many photos that were sent. Rembered the feelings. Tried to convince myself I wasn't being used.
#wavewalker
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Wavewalker, The Betrayal.
#wavewalker
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"Who shall we get to play you in the movie?"
The love bombing stage.
#wavewalker
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"After a few days she said "I love you". Such an easy thing to say, but the effect on me was profound. I asked her to say it again just to hear it. I was flooded with a huge wave of relief, of coming home, finally. What I don't know was that this was the love bombing stage. "
#wavewalker #BPD
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Wondering about what sort of person would think it's ok to take the provident fund promised to workers of a certain Opera company and brush it of as "there are always winners and losers".
#wavewalker
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"I told him I would eventually want my freedom."
#wavewalker
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""All you had to do was wait for me" I had done that, for over 10 years. Making up your own reality was a recurring reality from 2014."
#wavewalker
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"Now that I was scrubbed from the real story, helping her build a life away from the boat as "Us", our travels and that little bubble of love, I was shocked to read an interview where she claimed I was "James with three boys, whom I met on the internet". It felt like a betrayal."
#wavewalker
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"No one was around as I stood where we had arranged to meet. I saw her in the distance walking to me... I couldn't speak. "Hello" she said, and we collapsed into a hug unable to speak. 27 years of pain over. The sense of coming home was overwhelming, I will never again know such joy"
#wavewalker
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What did I miss this year?
Softness
Femininity
Hugs
Respect
Happy new year.
#wavewalker
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"For the first time in my life I have someone other than my father looking after me"
#wavewalker
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Missing you today, wherever you are.
#wavewalker
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Pushing away everyone who's known and loved you for your whole life surely has to end at some point. About to begin another year of waiting.
#wavewalker
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"I told him I'm going to eventually want my freedom"
#wavewalker
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"So what do I remember about the person who had so much potential and the incredible bond we have? Disappointment at how someone could abandon every person they knew in an attempt to change her narrative on what really happened. Writing a book doesn't make it real"
#wavewalker
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"I told him I would eventually want my freedom" 2015
#wavewalker #europeaneconomicforum2025
#BPD
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"Alienating everyone who you've been closest to.... it was a reoccurring theme and I wanted to understand what caused people to do that, and I found the answer"
#wavewalker #BPD
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Thinking about the fist kiss in Oxford and how overwhelmed and thrilled I was. It is second only to Paris 2014, which remains the highlight of my life.
#wavewalker
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"A part coming to terms with my past has meant reconnecting with ........Now we are back in touch I doubt we will ever lose contact again, we have been through too much together."
"I started trying to find a reason for the extremes I was subject to, and after a time I found a clue."
#wavewalker
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""Welcome home" greeted me as I got off the plane. "
#wavewalker
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" "Who should play you in our movie?"
I was so totally used and manipulated. "
#wavewalker
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"There are always winners and losers"
#wavewalker
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"The return of Us was such a relief, we fell back into our easy rapport and it was heavenly. I missed the companionship and loved those moments. Every now and then however something wasn't right. "The guy in North London.." was one of those moments. I felt awful and couldn't forget it"
#wavewalker
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"I'm sorry I made it so hard for you"
Paris, July 2014
#wavewalker
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"She called it "our book" because at its heart it was a love story, a story so speciaI I came to believe that the universe brought us back together before it was too late. My entire life was influenced by our special bond."
#wavewalker
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"In the back of my mind I realised that something was wrong when it was so right. After 3 decades we took up Us right where we left off. We knew a huge mistake had been made but who blocks contact with their other half, a person that was so essentially "home", their one true love?
#wavewalker
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" I have to find out if what I remember is the same as what he remembers and I need to find out if he is all right. I don't even know if he is alive although I somehow think I would know if he was dead. I don't know why but I am sure he is out there somewhere."
#wavewalker
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"I'm sorry I made it so hard for you"
"I knew I was hurting you but I couldn't stop"
#wavewalker
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