My script edit for this:
Studies say STIs are increasing among older age groups. The unexpected rises are thought to be down to Viagra.
#BTNRejects #BTN
1
0
0
0
Hashtag
#btn
Advertisement · 728 × 90
Students at a Scottish university were asked to design a tartan to mark the 250th anniversary of the American Declaration of Independence. ‘What’s independence?’ they replied.
#BTNRejects #BTN
5
1
1
0
Dame Sarah Mullally, the first female Archbishop of Canterbury, was officially installed this week. 2,000 guests were asked to arrive at the Cathedral at 9am on Wednesday, but the engineer didn’t turn up until 5.
#BTNRejects #BTN
3
1
0
0
Studies say STIs are increasing among older age groups. These massive up-ticks are thought to be down to Viagra.
#BTNRejects #BTN
2
1
1
0
The new premium Scotland away shirt will set fans back £120, marking the first time that men’s clothes have been hit by the pink tax.
#BTNRejects #BTN
2
1
1
0
Plug-in solar panels are coming to UK supermarkets, which means even more people will be charging up Aldi’s middle aisle.
#BTNRejects #BTN
3
1
0
0
#BTNNB #BTN #BTNRejects #jokes
A Dairy has upped production of 70's staple Cottage Cheese, after social media trends caused record demand. Thanks to the war in the middle east, people are also predicting a rise in other things common in the 70's, like petrol rationing, and the three-day week
5
0
3
0
#BTNNB #BTN #BTNRejects #jokes
How you walk can show your state of mind according to new research from Japan. Fear and sadness are shown through small swings of the arms, while anger and aggression have much bigger swings, usually at someone's head.
0
0
0
0
#BTNNB #BTN #BTNRejects #jokes
England have released their world cup kit, which is the most expensive ever at over £130. Many fans are prepared to pay the money, but others say they'll wait until it's out of contact and pick one up on a Bosman.
1
0
0
0
#BTNNB #BTN #BTNRejects #jokes
Gen Z are connected to technology, saying it makes them feel alive. Pensioners are also connected to technology that keeps them literally alive, as it's insulin pumps, dialysis machines, and pacemakers.
5
0
1
0
#BTNNB #BTN #BTNRejects #jokes
In Westminster, Chancellor Rachel Reeves promised that the most needy would get the help they needed. She then spent the rest of the afternoon dodging begging phone calls from Michelle Mone.
1
0
0
0
Final eight away to #BTN
#Writing #WritingCommunity
2
0
0
0
Two full pages and all rounds covered from the first #BTN brief. If only all weeks were that easy #comedy #comedywriting #writingcommunity
2
0
0
0
People in houses that use heating oil are going to extreme methods to save their supplies, such as showering at the gym, hand washing clothes, and considering turning on the immersion. #BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
1
0
0
0
The exhibition at Glasgow's Kelvingrove Museum will include the first Barbie in a wheelchair. To be more accurate for wheelchair users, she can be found outside the main exhibit hall, waiting for someone to find a ramp.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
2
0
0
0
One of the most common forms of deception used by toddlers is pretending to not hear a request from their parents like “time to tidy up.” The way round this is to mix the request with a sound all children can hear, like the rustling of a crisp packet two rooms away.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
1
0
0
0
Edinburgh zoo says families often cancel plans from a quick glance at a phone screen. They see the ticket prices and go “no chance.”
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
2
0
0
0
Donald Trump said he thought of the UK as the Rolls Royce of allies, which makes the United States a BMW: quickly rushing into things, usually without any indication, and with a reckless idiot in the driving seat.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
1
0
0
0
Donald Trump once again compared Sir Keir Starmer to Winston Churchill, this time during a visit to the Oval Office by the Irish Prime Minister; doubling down on the error by then celebrating St Patrick's Day by offering Michael Martin a black and tan.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
1
0
0
0
Morocco have been awarded the Africa Cup of Nations after the result of the final was overturned. The decision could have ramifications across the footballing world after the Russian linesman in the 1966 World Cup Final said Geoff Hurst's shot didn't cross the line
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
2
0
0
0
Cocaine worth an estimated £600,000 was found in a car just outside Locaber. Police aren't sure who could manage such a huge quantity of the drug, but noted that Michael Gove had been seen pacing outside his house all morning.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
2
0
0
0
A musical version of Trainspotting will be hitting the London stage in July before heading on tour starting in Edinburgh. Tickets are selling fast, with reports that people are shooting up to grab them.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
1
0
0
0
At the Oscars, announcer Matt Berry caused upset to some of those attending by referring to the event as the Winter Ozempics. One actor said the Comedian had committed a huge sin, but luckily they were on Slimming World, and needed one to finish their day.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
1
0
0
0
1
0
0
0
One of those nights when it just wasn't happening. Thankfully, pulled one out at the death, so I'm happy I've managed to at least submit something. #BTN
6
0
2
0
#BTN Update for the week, 21 jokes written. Now to wait for the changes to the brief that make a quarter of them redundant.
2
0
1
0
Timothée Chalamet is up for a Best Actor Oscar for his latest film, Marty Supreme – the story of a man who rises from his job as a humble New York shoe salesman to become the new leader of Iran.
#BTNNB #BTNRejects #BTN
2
1
0
0
A coffee shop near York has been holding 7am raves. Early morning raves have a history that goes all the way back to 2009, when US President Donald Trump first joined Twitter.
#BTNRejects #BTNNB #BTN
0
0
0
0
The current Middle East conflict has sparked fears of global stagflation - a rare economic condition characterized by slowing economic growth, high unemployment, and price hikes on t-shirts saying “Dave’s last night of freedom”.
#BTNRejects #BTN #BTNNB
2
1
0
0
Dame Wendy Hall says that AI is too important to be left to men. This is proved by the fact it has the potential to create new medication, or solve great problems in science and mathematics, and men use it to see what women would look like in a bikini.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny
0
0
0
0