poem: never again
confession | 23 March
text: i once loved a man who had our future mapped out before our future began
he was jewish
an engineer
a man with a steady and secure career
i was in undergrad with no idea where i was going next
but he did.
one year, we were together and his expectations grew.
i couldn’t stay at home but i was expected to cook, clean, bear children, maintain a household
while he worked, gamed, and put in little effort
but it was okay –-- he loved me, he cared
even if he never bothered to watch m favorite shows, but i knew he preferred YouTube
or listened to my favorite music but we went to metalcore shows
or show interest in my hobbies but i helped him create content and start an instagram page.
he never cooked or cleaned
or appreciated my post it notes in the morning where i left his breakfast.
i thought it was love
something you learn to live with
but it was complacency
and it was not what or where i needed to be.
it took me years to learn that i wanted to be seen
to have someone in tune with me
recommend songs, remember my favorite color, ask me questions about my silly little games, read my poetry, wipe my tears when a movie makes me cry, appreciates my post-its.
never again will i give myself away
lose who i am
give when all they do is take.
i won’t lose myself, never again.
never again | 23 March
i once "loved" a man who showed me all the things love wasn't
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