I'm not in a relationship. But I know someone who if they heard me say that, they'd kick my ass.
#oldjoke
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#oldjoke
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I’m just happy for both of you. Let me know when you’re registered.
Of course, I know neither of you will need a new toaster. #oldjoke
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One question:
Is he still getting ready to get down?
#OldJoke
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#OldJoke My wife went to Jamaica…
Er…
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And now, an old joke!
Because, why not?! #oldjoke #dadjoke #irishjoke
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This cartoon plays with the the classic old joke that was never funny “why did the chicken cross the road?” In this cartoon, a white chicken with a red bits at the top of its head (apparently called the ‘comb’) reaches the safety of the other pavement. It looks confused. It thought bubble shows it thinking “? ? I forgot what I crossed for!”
Why did the chicken …
#oldjoke #chickencartoon #crosstheroad #road #amnesia #forget #memory #DailyLaughs #Karltoons #singlepanelcartoon
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A bowl of bean stew with a couple of slices of Rye bread on the side.
“Waiter. What’s this?”
“It’s Bean stew sir.”
“I don’t know what it’s been. I want to know what it is now.”*
#OldJoke
*There’s also Chorizo in it as well.
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Need to make a bondage gear wishlist.
Need to make a bondage model wishlist.
And a million other things. Which says nothing about the other stuff 'round here that needs doing.
Getting your shit together ain't no cakewalk. The cake really IS a lie. #OldJoke
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And that's why he was buried on top of the wardrobe. #oldjoke
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I hate men. Well not all men.
#notallmen #jokes #humour #oldjoke
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Did you not know why turds are tapered?
It’s so your arse doesn’t slam shut! 😀
#OldJoke
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wow this Hendrix track sounds so different without all the bubbling, sucking noises and giggling
what do you mean that's not actually on the studio recording?
#OldJoke
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#OldJoke
I was just thinking about the dyslexic, insomniac, agnostic who stayed up all night wondering if there really was a doG.
... and his brother, who was also paranoid, who wondered if his dog was really out to get him.
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It is 3:11 am and somewhere, somehow, Josh Ritter is STILL getting ready to get down. #oldjoke
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Well you're very 'now now', let me tell you
#OldJoke
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Young man from #Netherlands gets to ride a train through the Alps. #Goals
And he psyched me out - thought it'd be a 1930s jazz throwback, and then he brought the beat. Good job!
He told me to say this - La Vie. #OldJoke
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#thedailyderp Basket Case #oldjoke
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No kidding - I called yesterday to ask what time the game started and they asked: "what time can you get here?"
#OldJoke #JustLikeMe
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I'm watching #paulsimon
#homewardbound
I feel so lost without the great #ianmacmillanpoet and his daily words I nearly took a step backwards
#poetry
#oldjoke
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Is one called tiny???
Because hes My Newt
#imhereallweek #oldjoke
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The headmaster walks through school & passes a very #obstreperous class. He walks right in, grabs the noisiest person by the collar & puts him in detentiion straight away. After ten minutes, a shy pupil approaches him with a request:"Excuse me, Sir, could we get our teacher back?"
#vss365 #OldJoke
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Hey Ruud, why the long face? #oldjoke
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What's the difference between a cyber truck and a hedgehog?
A hedgehog has pricks on the outside.
#oldjoke
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The @theonion.com is shutting down because real life is now crazier than any possible satire. #humor #oldjoke #notreallyajoke #funnynotfunny #satire #iwantmymommy
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"I don't know magic, except for what's part of my job." And she gestures to a ship.
"The joke of course, is 'except for what she does on ships.'"
"Ogre not know where spaceship go. Ogre only build hyperdrive to get it there."
#OldJoke #WhatIfOgresWereEngineers #KurkirinsACatlady #TheIdeaStillApplies
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Just arrived in Toronto. There is white stuff everywhere. Please advise.
#oldjoke
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