S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 103: Open House (1987) This is a gorgeous lagoon-style pool that blends in with the grounds, with a lovely waterfall feature. I have a feeling that some of the rocks are fake, in a mini-golf course kind of way, which would cost it major points in terms of being fun to swim in. Aesthetically, though, this is a triumph.

I've been putting this off, because it's the last, so let me just say that these have been a joy! More importantly, the print zine (with a bonus review & bonus writeup cut from S(p)lasher Flicks for space!) is on my Ko-Fi shop.
#horrorsky #booksky #filmsky #openhouse #poolreviews #splasherflicks

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 102: Colossal (2016) I don't think I need to repeat how unsafe it is to jump into a pool so leaf-covered you can't see what's in there, but my admonition against having a pool you can leap into from an upper story probably does bear repeating.

Damn, have I really not posted a pool review in 5 days? It's a good thing we're almost done, because I guess I'm *close* to overstaying my welcome. Only one more left!
#poolreviews #colossal #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 101: Don't Breathe 2 (2021) This is another case where, if you can see past its condition, there's a very nice pool to discover. I'm pretty sure the sign at the deep end indicates a depth of 22', which gives it a major advantage over most residential pools. Re-mount that springboard, break out the mop, & you're in business.

We're getting to the end of this journey, scary swim team. Only 2 pools left. Say hello to Detroit again, then say goodbye.
#dontbreathe2 #poolreviews #horrorsky #splasherflicks #filmsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 100: Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (1997) There's something suggestive about the shape of this pool, but I can't quite wrap my hand around it.

It's on just the tip of my tongue, but the cockamamie thing is so hard to grasp it's driving me nuts.
#poolreviews #poisonivy3 #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 99: Bad Things (2023) The indoor pool could use some opening up. I don't think dark-colored wall tiles are a good idea when the space already feels kind of cramped. The outdoor pool has some nice sky blue accents, but really should be covered in the winter.

If a motel in a horror movie has a pool, it definitely isn't somewhere you want to stay.
#poolreviews #splasherflicks #badthings #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 98: Fever Dream (2021) This is about as minimalist as you can get, & not in a sleek modern way. As in The Stepford Wives, I'm not sure how you can avoid getting your grass clippings in the pool. Amanda is right to worry about the kid falling in, because there's literally nothing to stop that from happening. The phrase "concrete pond" has never been more apt.

Welcome back, scary swim team. Seems like pool fences in horror movies are kind of a feast or famine thing.
#feverdream #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #poolreviews #splasherflicks

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 97: Cat People (1982) Not as bad as the one in the original film, but that is a very low bar. At least this one has...a window? & a higher ceiling but still, a pool should not feel claustrophobic. The brown tile work, especially around the edge, is really nice though.

Cat People movies are 0 for 2 when it comes to pools I'd want to swim in.
#poolreviews #catpeople #remake #splasherflicks #horrorsky #booksky #filmsky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 96: Piranha (1978) It's hard to assess this as a swimming pool since, by daylight, it's clearly more of an industrial holding tank. On closer inspection though, it was probably converted from a pool, so those poor kids can be forgiven.

One thing I (Cullen Wade) have never done in my life is hop a fence at night to trespass into somebody's pool. Yes I feel like a fraud, but you know what? You're never too old & summer is almost here. Anybody wanna come with me?
#poolreviews #piranha #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 95: The Glass House (2001) Minus the flat-edge coping on two sides, this pool is more traditional than you'd expect from the ultra-modern look of the rest of the house. The warm color of the decking & the modest furniture make it downright homey.

What's up scary swim team? Modern architecture leaving you cold? Loosen things up with a humble pool.
#splasherflicks #theglasshouse #poolreviews #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 94: Poltergeist III (1988) This one is all about the view. Very few pools are so dire that they couldn't be redeemed by that vista--which is good, because there's some kind of weird spigot-looking trip hazard where the diving board should be.

I just realized that's not the diving board side. Oh well, it still shouldn't be there.
#poolreviews #poltergeist3 #splasherflicks #horrorsky #booksky #filmsky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 93: Lady in the Water (2006) When a pool suggests a heart shape without actually being heart-shaped. Kind of a melted guitar pick. You know I'm not the biggest fan of cantilevered coping, but that can be forgiven. My only note is it seems a tad small for an apartment complex of this size.

I'm one of those weirdos who thinks Shyamalan's Lady in the Water is a horror film but Trap is not.
#poolreviews #splasherflicks #filmsky #horrorsky #booksky #ladyinthewater #mnightshyamalan

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 92: Let the Right One In (2008) I promise this is the last time I'll mention this: we in North America should be taking notes from the Scandinavians on proper lighting for a public swimming pool. The pastel colors on the bleacher fronts also help to make this a cheerful environment. The water level could be higher, but that's a design choice, not neglect.

And with that, we've reached the last of the movies people keep asking me about. It's mostly deep cuts from here on in, folks!
#filmsky #booksky #horrorsky #lettherightonein #poolreviews #splasherflicks

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 91: Swimfan (2002) I didn't go to high school in the New Jersey suburbs, so I don't know how common it is for schools there to have repurposed public bathhouses from the 1940s with balconies & intricate mosaics but I can't help feeling like I missed out.

Oh no! I missed a day yesterday! Guess we get an extra day of fun.
#swimfan #poolreviews #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #splasherflicks

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 90: The Hunger (1983) Without an establishing shot for context, we'll never get clarity on (a) what this fancy restaurant that overlooks a clothing-optional swimming pool is all about, (b) why said pool is so bare-bones & industrial-looking, & (c) why the lights are off.

"It's a movie, just go with it" is not a thing in my world, but if I were to extend that courtesy to any filmmaker, it would be Tony Scott.
#filmsky #horrorsky #booksky #poolreviews #splasherflicks #thehunger #lesbianvampires

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 89: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Not much to say. Modest-sized, kidney-shaped, well-maintained, no-frills backyard pool. Gets the job done & looks good doing it. Probably no more than 6' at its deepest though, so I hope you aren't dead-set on diving.

Welcome back to suburbia, scary swim team. There's a lot to look at.
#poolreviews #slumberpartymassacre #splasherflicks #horrorsky #booksky #filmsky #slashers

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 88: The Twilight Zone: "The Bewitchin' Pool" (1964) Pool is so dang big they can't even fit the whole thing in one shot. Extremely excessive for a 4-person family. Also, unrelated, but I could never figure out why the parents talk like Mid-Atlantic yuppies but the kids sound straight outta the Georgia pines.

@svengoolieofficial.bsky.social reminded me last week that Son of Frankenstein is even more nonsensical with the accents.
#poolreviews #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #twilightzone #splasherflicks

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 87: Fright Night (2011) Not sure why there's a full pool at a vacant house (especially in the desert), but I like the tile work. It's hard to be certain but I think that's a sun bench in the corner, which is always a nice feature.

In order for it to work, you have to believe in it, & I believe that this movie works.
#poolreviews #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #frightnight

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 86: Mortuary (1983) Even a well-known critic of pools with ocean view like me has to admit the slinky shape of this one is quite appealing. It is also, however, too big for a single-family home, & between the stonework, decorative planters, & deck furniture, it's a bit cluttered on the house side.

Another Monday, another '80s slasher with pretty good gender politics. Have a great week, scary swim team!
#mortuary #poolreviews #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #slasher

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 85: Trick or Treat (1986) I can easily imagine a group of teenagers sneaking into the public pool to party thinking it would be more fun in the dark. At long last, a scene where it makes sense for the lights to be off.

Wake up, sleepyheads.
#trickortreat #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #poolreviews #splasherflicks

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 84: The Stepfather (2009) 3 pools to discuss here. The strange shape of the school building makes me feel like I'm in an airplane hangar. Aunt Jackie's pool (top) is minimalist loveliness except that aggregate cantilevered coping I worry about keeping clean. The Hardings' pool (bottom) is modest & lovingly landscaped, & I'm a sucker for a tiered deck.

I was out of town yesterday so I missed posting a pool review. I know I've let you down. No gesture can atone for this failure, but as a token of my remorse, have a threefer.
#thestepfather #poolreviews #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 83: The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018) In theory I shouldn't like this one very much. Undistinguished concrete slabs on the deck & cheap aluminum coping are things I've complained about with other pools. But motel pools (a category that broadly includes RV parks) play by different rules. Nostalgia value matters, & the way the neon trees play off the stone wall gives this a lot of character.

Another movie I was lukewarm on at first, but gets better every time I watch it. Great pool, great song choice, & the scene they appear in is destined for canonical status--if it's not already there.
#thestrangerspreyatnight #poolreviews #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky

Don't know why but I somehow skipped #81 yesterday, which is extra tragic because this is one of my favorite pools.
#poolreviews #splasherflicks #horrorsky #booksky #filmsky #alltheboyslovemandylane #keepyouramberslandertoyourself

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 82: The Woman (2011) Impossible to say much because we don't get a good look at it, but--I know I'm always talking about safety & making sure kids don't fall in, but for a backyard pool this fence seems excessive.

I mean who would want to make their pool feel like jail?
#poolreviews #splasherflicks #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #thewoman

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 80: The Velvet Vampire (1971) We never get a wide shot of the pool so it's hard to get a good read, but from what I can tell, this is as responsible as a pool in the desert can be. Xeriscaping, making use of rocks & vegetation with minimal water needs. Revenge & Death Valley, I hope you're taking notes.

Pool season is coming, scary swim team. Keep the faith.
#poolreviews #splasherflicks #horrorsky #booksky #filmsky #velvetvampire

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 79: Infinity Pool (2023) The film's title is a misnomer, since there are at least 2 infinity pools at this Li Tolqa resort. One is an undistinguished rectangle, the other is this compellingly midcentury space-age job with lilypads for lounging. I know which one I'd spend my time in.

Where does Li Tolqa fall on your ranking of horror movie vacation destinations on a scale of "Nope" to "Absolutely fucking not"?
#horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #poolreviews #splasherflicks #infinitypool

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 78: Assassination Nation (2018) A modest backyard pool, just big enough to frolic around in with a few friends & to allow for some depth variation. I can't help but think the deck could use some adornment. Tile work is kind of boring too, but on the plus side, when empty this would be a very fun pool to skate in, if you're into that.

Sorry I couldn't get a clear screengrab of the illogical but iconic scene where her majesty Hari Nef nailguns a proud boy to death underwater.
#assassinationnation #filmsky #horrorsky #booksky #poolreviews #splasherflicks

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 77: Confessions (2010) Even without the puke-green water, leafy surface, & dead body, this pool would still be gross. The naked cement deck & stamped skimmer plates in utilitarian coping make this look more like an industrial reservoir than anything meant for humans.

Hey you look like you might be interested in a physical version of these pool reviews (all 104 of them), plus a bonus essay that will only ever appear in zine form. Plus you get it free if you purchase my book directly from me? Dang.
#poolreviews #splasherflicks #confessions #horrorsky #booksky

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 76: Blood Rage (1987) I'm not even going to harp on the raised lip around the perimeter, because this has a major aesthetic problem. Grey coping, grey deck, grey & featureless beige walls. Even the tank is painted a pastel blue that approaches grey. Get some color in there, people!

That's not cranberry sauce! Nor is it a very good pool.
#bloodrage #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #splasherflicks #poolreviews

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 75: Carrie (2013) Water volleyball is not a bad choice for a high school gym class activity, but the coach should have provided an alternate opt-out assignment. Also not sure why there appear to be no ladders or steps.

What's up horror hipsters, time for another reminder that disliking a perfectly fine remake does not, in & of itself, make you cool.
#splasherflicks #carrie #horrorsky #booksky #filmsky #poolreviews

S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 74: Death Valley (1982) Consistent with its locale as a hotel pool in the middle of the desert, this has the look of an oasis, with the irregular paving stones & the lush vegetation. Ecologically, though, unless it's built atop an actual oasis, some kind of xeriscaping would be more appropriate.

Good evening scary swim team, here's one of the best pool movies that doesn't get talked about as a pool movie due to the misfortune of there being almost no pool scenes in it.
#deathvalley #horrorsky #filmsky #booksky #poolreviews #splasherflicks