The base thumps and the dancer drops, upside down faster than Megatron can blink and his legs are splayed wide, flashing the entire room with a view of his modesty panel and Megatronโs glass must have been faulty, the stem has snapped in his servo and heโs left holding the broken pieces with oil dripping over onto his digits. By the time he drags his optics back up to the stage, the dancer is on an entirely different pole, closer, his back to the audience of feral morons as he sways his aft enticingly over the pole in a motion Megatronโs targetting HUD tracks with near religious fervour.
โOh for sparks sake,โ someone mutters beside him. He wastes no time putting his pede on Starscreamโs chair and shoving it over backwards.
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On a neutral planet away from Autobot and Decepticon space, Optimus finds himself enjoying the work of a pole dancer once he turns down Ultra Magnus' generous offer. It's fun, he gets to set himself on fire, and his coworkers are pretty great too. And then deep space miner D-16 shows up. What's he supposed to do with a mech with gentle servos, uncountable scars, and a knack for poetry? Not fall for him? Oops.
WHO WANTS POLE DANCING OPTIMUS PRIME THAT'S RIGHT ITS YOOOOOOU! #megop #tfa #valveplug LINK BELOOOOWWW BABY #tfbb2025 @tfbigbang.bsky.social