Block the construction of a new detention center in San Antonio! Nearly 12% of the population of San Antonio are immigrants. They are our friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors. And we need to defend them against Trump’s brute and unlawful deportation ag...

This cause is close to my heart - please sign: sign.moveon.org/petitions/bl...

1:29 AM Status Report: The Institute has officially lost control of its sleep schedule. It is a Tuesday morning, and we are currently negotiating with our ceiling fan for an ounce of serotonin. The negotiations are failing

#Insomnia #TuesdayThoughts #FirstWorldProblems

Legalized cannabis in Texas 1. Economic Growth and Tax Revenue • New Revenue Streams: Advocates point out that regulating and taxing cannabis could generate hundreds of millions of dollars in new state revenue. Supporters often ...

This cause is close to my heart - please sign: sign.moveon.org/petitions/le...

Tell AT&T: Do not extend your contract with ICE! AT&T is a major company, bringing in $120 billion in revenue every year. It doesn’t need DHS’s contracts in order to remain profitable. But it’s choosing to maintain its ties with DHS despite wide...

This cause is close to my heart - please sign: sign.moveon.org/petitions/at...

The Institute has audited the remainder of the work week. The required energy exceeds our current reserves by 400%. Initiating emergency shutdown.
#Wednesday #Burnout #FirstWorldProblems

No War With Iran! Trump has launched military strikes on Iran without congressional approval and without the support of the American people. Send a letter now demanding your member of Congress say no to a U.S. war wi...

I just wrote a @theactionnetwork.bsky.social letter: Congress: No War With Iran! Write one here: action.moveon.org/letters/cong...

I’m not trying to start a fight with you

Not about wars

I wish you wouldn’t use ai

Charge Epstein's Co-Conspirators! Recent documents released by the DOJ reveal eight people listed as co-conspirators: Les Wexner, billionaire and former CEO of Victoria’s Secret; Lesley Groff, Epstein’s longtime secretary; the late mo...

This cause is close to my heart - please sign: sign.moveon.org/petitions/ch... #epstein

Sign the Petition Stop the construction of the wall in Big Bend Ranch State Park & Big Bend National Park

c.org/qf66qzxs6F

The President is in Corpus Christi today to discuss energy and the economy.   
The Institute is drafting a formal petition to bypass the political theater and ask if the federal government brought any spare parts for our local water infrastructure.
#CorpusChristi #TexasPrimary #WaterCrisis

The Institute is currently locked in a "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination" standoff. We are too fatigued to be productive, yet too stubborn to surrender to sleep. We will remain on the couch, buffering, until the system auto-shuts down.
#Bedtime #Procrastination #FirstWorldProblems #Buffering

Financial Audit: Since the Institute retired from the cannabis sector, our weekly snack budget has decreased by 80%. Unfortunately, we now have to face Thursday afternoons with zero chemical armor. We are "feeling our feelings." It is awful.
#QuittingWeed #Feelings #FirstWorldProblems #Boredom #Weed

#funny

We have received intelligence that "Tuesday" is approaching rapidly.
The Institute is establishing a defensive perimeter made of blankets, takeout containers, and denial. We are not coming out.
#TuesdayEve #Scaries #FirstWorldProblems #Denial

Pay me on Cash App Instantly exchange money for free on Cash App

Notice: The Institute is formally requesting a "Personal Bailout."
We are considered "Too Tired To Fail." Please direct all emergency liquidity injections to the link below. We promise to misuse the funds on iced coffee and bad decisions.
#Bailout #MondayBlues #Economy #FirstWorldProblems

We have taken the Melatonin.
Will we sleep for a peaceful 8 hours, or will we stare at the ceiling until 3 AM and then dream that we forgot to wear pants to a funeral? The wheel is spinning. Place your bets.
#Insomnia #Melatonin #Sunday #Anxiety

Status Report: The Institute has successfully raided the 50% off candy aisle.
We are currently composed of 12% blood and 88% stale nougat. We are vibrating at a frequency that can shatter glass. We regret nothing, but we also regret everything.
#PostValentines #SugarCrash #FirstWorldProblems #Sunday

Administrative Notice: It is technically Valentine's Day.
The Institute does not recognize this holiday. We only recognize "The Day Before Half-Price Chocolate Day." We are currently holding the line until 8:00 AM on February 15th. Stay strong.
#ValentinesDay #Chocolate #FirstWorldProblems #Thrifty

Pam Bondi Must Go! The Department of Justice’s handling of the Epstein files is nothing short of a failure for bringing justice to survivors and an effort to protect powerful predators in the billionaire class.  B...

sign.moveon.org/petitions/pa...

The Institute is running on "10% dark roast and 90% anxiety."
Please do not approach us with complex problems until the caffeine loading bar reaches at least 50%. We are currently a safety hazard.
#Coffee #MorningVibes #FirstWorldProblems #Caffeine #LikeMe

We acknowledge that it is "Hump Day."
However, The Institute feels less like we are "getting over the hump" and more like we are being slowly crushed by the camel. We request a flat stretch of road immediately.
#WednesdayVibes #Tired #FirstWorldProblems #HumpDay

The Institute is issuing a formal request for new followers.
Our "Department of External Validation" reports that dopamine reserves are critically low. Please press the button to help us meet our arbitrary numerical quota for the quarter. Thank you.
#FollowMe #Validation #FirstWorldProblems #Please

🫸🫷

The Institute has reviewed the rumors regarding the President’s health
Our analysis concludes that he is powered entirely by fast food preservatives and pure, unadulterated spite. He is not "fading." He is simply marinating.
#Trump #Politics #Immortality #FirstWorldProblems

Due to the 90-day absence of the President, the ecosystem at Mar-a-Lago has fallen into chaos.
The squirrels have reclaimed the back nine. The cart girls have unionized. The sand traps are lonely. Nature is healing, and it is disgusting.
#TrumpGolf #FirstWorldProblems #Nature

We are currently telling ourselves the Great Sunday Lie: "I will go to sleep early and wake up refreshed." We have already filed the paperwork for the inevitable 1 AM doom-scroll.
#SundayNight #Delusional #FirstWorldProblems #Sleep