It was a bountiful #Flansmas2025 which saw me live-post a whopping 10.5 made-for-TV Christmas movies (.5 because one was a spontaneous mini #Flansmas) 🙏 The movies were...
#ChristmasCasanova 🎧 bsky.app/profile/laur...
#CoupledUpForChristmas 👫 bsky.app/profile/laur...
(1/3)
Last night I was debating between #ChristmasCasanova and #CoupledUpForChristmas, so tonight for #Flansmas I will try the latter. We'll see if it's any better (read: worse).
First #Flansmas2025 movie is in the bag (or sack) (like a Santa sack) (YOU shut up). It was called #ChristmasCasanova, and the thread contains this gem. These are the kind of on-topic insights you will be missing out on if you don't follow along with #Flansmas! 🎄🎅🦌⛄️
(SORRY THAT I DIDN'T MENTION THAT SHE WAS TRYING TO DETERMINE THE SECRET INGREDIENT IN HER DEAD MOM'S CHRISTMAS CIDER RECIPE; THERE WAS A LOT OF OTHER STUFF GOING ON.) (THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS ROSEMARY.) (IN CIDER.) #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Anyway, Main Guy is doing his big important pitch, but he has gone off script and starts talking about the true meaning of family and Podcaster Protagonist's dead mom. Because the woman (a woman CEO? OKAY 🙄) he is pitching to is in a Christmas movie, she's all "I FUCKING LOVE IT." #ChristmasCasanova
What's gonna happen I AM SO FUCKING STRESSED?? I am taking a quick break to PEE AND GET SOME GUM. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Main Guy is CRUSHED. Podcaster Protagonist is giving really bad excuses and blaming it on her boss. Main Guy is like "I DO NOT TRUST YOU, WHITE DEVIL." He's all "I'm out. Don't make fools out of this family." MOVING AF. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
They're doing a QUINTESSENTIAL NEW YORK CITY CARRIAGE RIDE, but through a series of mishaps, Main Guy ends up in a cock-block carriage with Cliff and Tanya Schultz, Bestie From Childhood (threeway?), and Podcaster Protagonist ends up in a carriage with the parents (threeway?). #ChristmasCasanova
Podcaster Protagonist is telling her BFF all of her podcast problems. Her BFF goes "Yeah; that's a lot to keep track of" which is a gentle way of saying "This sounds like some white people shit." Podcaster Protagonist confesses that she MAYBE wants to bone Main Guy. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Speaking of Boss, she is having yet ANOTHER meeting with Podcaster Protagonist and is like "Bitch, the love triangle is not Cliff and Main Guy; it is YOU. YOU AND MAIN GUY ARE IN LOVE!" Podcaster Protagonist is all "whaaaaaaat? 😲" #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Main Guy is bummed. Just wait til he finds out that it was Podcaster Protagonist's idea because she was recording the Girl Talk™️ conversation and her drama-hungry boss is obviously gonna put it in the podcast without asking her BUT I DIGRESS. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Oh, snap: I think Podcaster Protagonist just realized that she wants to bone Main Guy and it has FREAKED HER OUT (I told you that was foreplay)! She is NOT SUPPOSED TO GET INVOLVED IN HER PODCAST STORIES! Ummmmm then why were you fencing the fencer, gurl? #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Now it's night time and they are on a *different* bench (WHAT IS THIS MOVIE'S BENCH BUDGET??) and Podcaster Protagonist has revealed to Main Guy that her mom died two years ago. This is crappy made-for-TV Christmas movie foreplay, FYI. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Main Guy and Podcaster Protagonist just had a scene on a bench where it seems like they are starting to *almost* realize they want to bone. At this point I am compelled to acknowledge that they DO have chemistry and are NOT terrible actors. UGH 🙄 NOT MY PREFERENCE. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Also, I haven't mentioned this yet, but Podcaster Protagonist looks like if Sophia Bush, Charisma Carpenter, and Lake Bell had a baby. Kind of like "Three Men and A Baby," except that they are women and also the baby is made of their genetic material. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
I have just realized that I am only a third of the way through this movie. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
You guys: Podcaster Protagonist is looking through "Christmas in New York" suggestions and goes "Oh - a Broadway show! That's a good idea!" GURL. I don't care how deep in mourning you are; you didn't think of A BROADWAY SHOW? You suck at this. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Main Guy is like "Get away, White Devil. I'm not gonna try to manipulate both Tanya Schultz, Bestie From Childhood, *and* her family, WHO ARE LIKE MY FAMILY, for your dumb podcast." Then Podcaster Protagonist says literally one more thing, and he's like "I'M IN!!!" #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Podcaster Protagonist is like "BUT THAT IS NOT THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS!" but her boss DGAF. In the next scene, Podcaster Protagonist - a woman who lives in New York - is Googling "Best New York Christmas," like you do when you are a New Yorker. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Podcaster Protagonist rips Main Guy a new one for only being interested in Tanya Schultz, Bestie From Childhood, because she is now unavailable. Main Guy is like "NUH-UH!" but she doesn't listen to him because she is a white woman and he is Pakistani. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Okay, I was wrong: Main Guy's friend doesn't listen to Podcaster Protagonist's podcast; he listens to her best friend's podcast. This is even MORE realistic, as she is not only a woman, but also Asian, and Main Guy's friend is a straight white guy. GTFO with this. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Tanya Schultz, Bestie From Childhood, wants to bone some new guy named Cliff and Main Guy is jealous. OH MY GOD: HE HAS JUST REALIZED THAT *HE* WANTS TO BONE TANYA SCHULTZ, BESTIE FROM CHILDHOOD!! #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Main Guy's friend DOES NOT GET why Main Guy and Tanya Schultz, Bestie From Childhood, are not a couple. Also, he listens to Podcaster Protagonist's podcast. This is unrealistic, as men do not listen to women's podcasts, unless they (the men) are gay. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
Now we meet our Main Guy, who designs apps or something similarly douchey. Tonight he is meeting up with Tanya Schultz, his bestie from childhood. We know this because the friend he is talking to referd to her as "Tanya Schultz - your bestie from childhood!" #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
We also learn that this movie takes place in New York because Podcaster Friend literally says "We live in New York!" Also-also, Podcasting Protagonist has been told to meet with her boss and is worried that her podcast IS IN JEOPARDY. OH FUCK. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
So the podcasting lady was doing a story about a professional fencer, which is why she was fencing. Okay. In the next scene she is talking to her friend, another podcaster (podcasters only hang out with other podcasters), and we learn that her mom recently died (DRINK!!) #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
We open on two women fencing, which is honestly very lesbian coded. One of the women says to the other "Not bad for a podcaster!", which is not a thing that people say to or about podcasters, FYI. #Flansmas #ChristmasCasanova
After much deliberation (I wish I were lying but I really did put a lot of thought into this), I have decided to kick off #Flansmas 2025 with #ChristmasCasanova. Namely because I don't think I've ever done one of these where the protagonist is a podcaster. Brave new world, AMIRITE????
Als je wilt kun je elke avond 3 christmas rom coms kijken, die allemaal hetzelfde aflopen. Eén per jaar is meer dan voldoende. Die heb ik dus net gezien. #ChristmasCasanova
