Ted pours out his love in a torrent of sweat 💞
A #heartfelt confession with no safety net 😱
Without breaking pace 🏃♀️
Susie laughs in Ted's face 😂
Next time, maybe Ted will play harder to get! 😑
#vss365 #limerick
#dailylimerick
#writersofbluesky
An atheist, a rabbi & a priest met in the #doorway
of a bar, & that was it. No Joke! Simply because they
didn’t go in. Didn’t sit down. Ordered no drink.
Spoke not. The barkeep didn’t even wink.
They just left. Without argument. They’ll try againnext Sunday.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
The #articles in Spanish are la & el, in French la & le.
In English , easy 2 memorize: the & the –
fem & masc are the same. But in German, U see,
they’re not only different. Plus, we don’t have 2, but 3.
„Der, die, das“ – male, female, neuter. That'll B hard 2 learn 4 ya.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
The loss of 1 of my 1st teeith always seemed such an #arbitrary
act to me, and there wasn't even the promised tooth fairy
visiting me at night.
It just wasn't right. 😡
Same with the leg hair fairy läter: I would've shaved but my legs weren't hairy.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
Harry, the dachshund, barked to his friend, „Dude!
Fetch the ball!“ But Dick, the great dane, was not in the mood.
Since the ball was with a grim pug named Howard,
and Dick, to be honest, was just a big coward
with a big bark, who knew how to pretend and #delude.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick 🐾 🎾
A certain pollen in Betti's garden land
was popular among the bees as an inebriant.
Sometimes Betti noticed a single bee rapscallion,
tumbling wildly, hum-singing opera (in Italien!).
That musically gifted, tiny #sentient underbee, drunk or not, knew Betti was their friend.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick 🐝
Quiz time. Bonnie Tyler was the famous one
who A) pulled #audacious tricks with a loaded gun,
or B) invented something to treat DVS, Dry Vagina
Syndrome, as well as a heart condition called angina,
or C) sang Total Eclipse of the Heart, uh, Sun?
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
Bookish creepy-crawlies called him "Hunchback of Notre Dame".
Said, his belly's 2 fat, his wings are 2 short, and then some.
Being allegedly #malformed,
he still bumbled & bee'ed & warmed
up 2 the idea of flying, & does so up 2 this day, despite the big bum.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick 🐝
My dog's eyes seem to say, "Mom! Smell me!"
Big brown eyes shine with confidence. "Sniff me, then tell me
how sexy I am. Tell me I'm hot!"
I don't have the heart to say that he's not.
The #reek of the crap he rolled in asks for a bath. So, shall we?
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
On CSD, I was strutting my #rainbow
stuff, wondering if it's just a vain show
on my behalf, to be part of the fun rally,
to say, "Look at me being cute, I'm an ally!"
Louis/a, my drag king friend, complained all day about his too tight boob bandeau.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
A farm hand named Jim was paid time & a half
for the hours he cared for a premature calf.
He would have done it anyway,
with or without the extra pay.
Jim loved the baby. It made him smile & cry & #laugh.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
A #spider in my room, or any crawly insect,
I simply grab Bella, my cat, & direct
her to it. Then I ungrab & off she goes. A helluva
huntress. Plus: she eats them. A quick & clean maneuver.
Works only with really BIG bugs. But then it's perfect!
#vss365 #DailyLimerick #Truefax
Tnis is the story of Frank, the ant,
& his lice farm. He 1st thought it a #prank when the government
sent a draft call, His Pa was a war vet & also lived on the farm.
Back in woods war 12, he'd lost 3 legs and 1 arm.
Frank petted his fave dairy louse & whispered, "I can't."
#vss365 #DailyLimerick 🐜
The jackass told the female horse: "Only a fool
will always play it by the #rule.
Show me your backside," he said to the mare.
Then he had his way with her.
They did the naughty and made a baby mule.
#vass365 #DailyLimerick
I once saw an #angel while being on a walk.
I once saw an #angel emerging from the fog.
I know #angels exist because we constantly meet.
In peoples' houses, in the park, even in the street.
You know what #angels smell like in the rain? Wet dog!
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
My #angels, recharging:
In the zoo, the mercat knew how to #charm
me, with its cute face, wäving with one arm.
The giraffe, fishing for compliments, said, "What the heck?
What about my long lashes, my elegant neck?"
I told them both they're awesome. It couldn't do any harm.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
See me compliment them:
Farm animals & pets played soccer. The crowd cried "Foul!"
The umpire was a pug who with a #scowl
brandished the yellow card & punished the foal.
The game went on. The crowd roared "Goal!"
She got in with a wild card. Now she had scored: The owl.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
Owls do have SOCCER LEGS ⚽ 🦉
Betti Boo, the bee colony's mediator,
teamed up with Billy Bee, the pollinator.
He carried pollen on his fluffy bum.
And she translated his every #hum
when he reported the yummiest nectar to his home hive later.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
My great-grandpa planted an #elm tree & let it grow.
So that children 1 day would play Hide & Seek there, or so.
Indeed, as a kid, my mom leaned at its stem,
shouting "Ready or not", after counting to ten.
When *I* was a kid, Dad hung up a tire swing, & I gave it a go!
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
1983 in France, Lady Di had a flat tire,
so she took her world famous diamond and #sapphire
engagement ring and gave it to some random French
guy in exchange for a car jack and a wrench.
Yeah… never hapoened in RL! Now you know I’m a liar.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
I think it was not long ago,
possibly a month or so,
when the prompt given was „marrow“,
which I then lamely rhymed it with „#sparrow“.
And that now gives me writers' block, so…
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
sorry,
don’t worry!
Tomorry
I’ll give it another go.
😜
In the Swiss Alps, Bill, the bull, by #happenstance
saw a cow walk by his pasture. It was love at 1st glance.
At least 4 Bill. She wore pretty flowers & a bell. She
gracefully went down the steep path 2 the valley
without so much as a moo 4 Bill. The tragedy of transhumance.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
If you’re going to dip your limbs in
unknown waters, first check what swims in
there. It might not be as fun as
you think if there are piranhas,
your toes go missing and your speedos turn #crimson.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick #psa 😱
A waitress named #Violet screamed loudly when she
saw a patron come in, dressed up as a bumblebee
who then stumblebee-ed, like on autopilot,
forward, and right into #Violet
and mumblebee-ed, ,"Will you marry me?"
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
I kinda cheated with this one, I know... 😉
To broaden her housemaid’s vocabluary,
Lady Chattingshire gave her a used dictionary.
Before death, Her Ladyship decided to #tear
her old will apart, and make the sole heir
her maid who then wrote a spectacularly eloquent obituary.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
A would-be-entrepeneur named Thomas
had a pretty girlfriend, & gave her each & every #promise.
She wanted to marry. Then get a boob job. She was thin as a rail
& a little lunatic. She had a chihuahua & a pet snail,
but no idea what Tom entrepeneured, or what dot-com is.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
Before the soccer final, all the players were deep in
preparation, giving tjeir all. No whining or weeping.
Coach trained them hard for everything physical
but forgot their goal keeper was very #spiritual.
During penalties, he kneeled and prayed instead of keeping.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
Mom's teenage son Mike was in2 electronics.
He got some AI thingy 4 bday. His twin sister May got an #onyx
pendant. Mike would never leave home, just like mom hoped.
May packed a bag, pendant & all, the same day & eloped
with the drummer of a band called Bad Harmonics.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick
To find rhymes for the prompt #wisteria
definitely falls in the plot twist area
of my run of daily limericks, you see.
My brain starts playing tricks on me.
A plant? Or a melancholic malaise, induced by bacteria?
##vss365 #DailyLimerick
Love your prompts, Jami!
Together they sang in the sha-ha, sha-hallow,
Gaga off the deep end, Bradley more me-le-le-lellow.
He stood his ground, not just a tagalong,
but contributing richly to the Gaga song.
Music sometiimes picks the strangest bedfe-he, fe-hellow.
#vss365 #DailyLimerick #mellow #AStarIsBorn
