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Told my kid I was going to ‘power wash the driveway.’ He froze and whispered, ‘DAD… you have superpowers?’ So now I’m outside with a hose, making dramatic ‘pew pew’ noises, pretending to battle invisible grime villains, because honestly I can’t crush that kind of faith. #FFDE

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Why did Dad get banned from doing the New Year’s Eve ball drop? Because the last time he tried, he tripped, launched the ball into the snack table, and triggered a full scale Snackquake. The kids yelled, ‘DAD! YOU YEETED THE SNACKS INTO NEXT YEAR!’ The guac never recovered. #FFDE

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I also do 3D #blender #art #arisRandoms #affinityPhoto #fanfiktion #bookshelf #ffde

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