why do I have a flat affect? perhaps years of being ignored while being told to be the best, left to my own devices to be a mediocre student maybe a mediocre human I'm full of hopelessness with a side of worthless and "you're a disappointment" for dessert - it's enough to drain the life out of anyone like a beast who thrives on pain and misery like one would suck the marrow from bones but to do that to a beast while it's still alive would be cruel - why is it okay if it's feelings and words instead of actual bones?
A lifetime of being basically an afterthought, if you're thought of at all, hurts.
(I'm ok, this is just for the poem - suffering for my art and all that)
#emoetry #flat #hopelessness #ignored #poetry #writing #mentalillness