Roses are red
Violets are blue
This contracts above threshold
Should’ve advertised in OJEU.
Or Post Brexit
Roses are red
And their stems are slender
You must publish above threshold contracts
On Find A Tender
#legalvalentines #procurementvalentines
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your claim is struck out if
You lack title to sue
#LegalValentines
CCH is red
Tolleys is yellow
Chartered Tax Nerds subscribe one;
Get them both - you’re a Fellow.
#LegalValentines
#CIoT
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Let’s take all our assets
And divide them by two
#LegalValentines #NotVeryRomantic
#Divorce
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You’ll have to wait for a card
As it’s under a 4(2).
#legalvalentines
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Call me again
And I'll injunct you
#LegalValentines
We met through the law,
And became co-resident,
Then you took to Trump,
I can't bear to sight the president.
#legalvalentines
Roses are red
Wigs are horsehair
From any more verses
I hope you'll forbear
#LegalValentines
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I will not be estopped
From loving you
#legalvalentines
I tried to persuade her
I’m a reasonable chap
But when I spoke of our tryst
She gave me a SLAPP
#legalvalentines
You were the foreman,
I, juror six,
Less 12 Angry Men,
More 9½ Weeks.
#legalvalentines
Inspired by you, here's my first attempt, in similar vein:
Honeyed words of pure adoration
May be deemed to be simple flattery
But proceed to unwanted embraces,
And you've committed the tort of battery
#legalvalentines
I blew a thoughtful kiss
To the clerk a-sorting
Got 30 days
For contemplative courting
#legalvalentines
You’re no dewy youngster
And you’re really not hench
But you’re the sexiest judge
on the federal bench
#legalvalentines
I love you Your Honour.
Don’t order a stay;
I’ll pursue these proceedings
Til close of play.
#legalvalentines
I’m just an old judge
But won’t you please phone?
I’ve grown far too tired,
Of sitting alone.
#legalvalentines
I wanted to love you
But it was not to be
Because you couldn’t learn
It’s ‘and not V.
#legalvalentines
#legalmasturbationpoems
My passion’s so strong,
my love is so big
It’ll blow off your gown
and set fire to your wig.
#legalvalentines
‘You’re too good for that bloke;
I bet he’s a bore’.
If I invite him to fight
It’s a Section Four’
#legalvalentines
Tis too often said
that in love there’s no fault
But an unbidden kiss
is a common assault
#legalvalentines
Roses are red
Violets blue
We reject this clause
Now whatcha gonna do?
#legalvalentines
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
This counts as drafting.
A fee is now due.
#LegalValentines
(Trying to replant an old Twitter tradition).
Roses are red
There's no cause to pout
Your prospects were poor
So now you're struck out.
#legalvalentines
Roses are red
There's no cause to pout
Your prospects were poor
So now you're struck out.
#legalvalentines
1. Roses are red.
2. Violets are blue.
3. This counts as drafting.
4. I’ve billed for this too.
#legalvalentines
Roses are red
Carnations are pink
A picky costs judge
caused my income to shrink
#LegalValentines
Roses are red
Will you plight me your troth?
Please just affirm,
Don't shout out an oath.
#legalvalentines
Roses are red
Daffodils are yellow
I said buy me *silk*
Who's this learned old fellow?
#legalvalentines
Roses are red
But just watch me pout
I said let's be scandalous
She got me struck out.
#LegalValentines
1. Roses are red.
2. Violets are blue.
3. This counts as drafting.
4. I’ve billed for this too.
#legalvalentines
