I did an excellent job of surviving this year.
And finally started enjoying survival again.
#Recovery2025 #NewYear
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#Recovery2025
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My IBS has been worse lately in spite of the best pacing and stress-reduction I've had in years.
I guess it's time for another round of serious meditation.
Sigh.
#MECFS #Recovery2025
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Probably the best week I've had at least four years.
#MECFS #PEM #Pacing #Recovery2025
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Oh, that's a thing. This place does not have, nor probably ever will have, much of a dance floor. It's a bit 2D and 2-3ft wide. That's regrettable.
#RVLife #OffGrid #Solarpunk #rewilding #decolonization #Recovery2025
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[Abuse, personal]
(The villain in The Beast in Me reminds me of my abuser sometimes. Also a smart manipulator.)
#Recovery2025 #PreDarkSojourn #AbuseCulture #PTSD
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I kept it together for so long!
I am no longer keeping it together!
I am FREE!!
#Recovery2025
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I think there's a bottle of expired Hershey syrup in long storage but I'd have to go outside again. 😞😂
#Recovery2025
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I really want hot chocolate with creme de menthe right now, but I don't have any hot chocolate. 😞
#Recovery2025
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This weekend I decided to eat dessert first. It worked out pretty well. (We'll see about the energy levels tomorrow.)
#Recovery2025
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I finally have a little excess energy to spend on fun work outside.
YES, the insulation needs to be (re)done, and YES that will be miserable to do once it freezes, and YES, there's laundry to do, etc. The backlog is still there, but it's finally getting smaller and manageable.
What's left to […]
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I also dug up a large rock yesterday. I keep forgetting about that. My body feels less bad from that than I'd expect.
#Recovery2025
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It just feels like sugar is oozing from my pores. It didn't help that I put honey in my oatmeal today. Maybe I shouldn't have. 🥴
#Recovery2025
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We did our traditional Halloween binge last night, and while I'm not hungover this morning, my body is working hard to process all that sugar. Ugh.
It's raining hard, so I feel no pressure to work on the insulation. But there's a talk in town about extremist hate groups in the region and what […]
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My stress load is much lighter, and I *think* I've been resting more and pushing less hard. But my healing has leveled off, whereas I'd expected to begin improving again once the last push ended. Today was really really hard and all I did was shower and bill one hour. That took all day.
I […]
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I guess I'm in a going off on rants mood. I'd like to document these ideas, and it's fun, but on the other hand, I need to monitor my energy levels, because I need to focus on paid-writing and restoring my health.
#Recovery2025
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Wow, this is the first time in YEARS I feel caught up.
Sure, there's stuff to do. But no pending emergencies, and no major looming deadlines (except a work one, but that manageable on its own). I'm in a safe place and not being actively abused. I can pace comfortably now.
Now the trick is to […]
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Yes I have Björk on my shoegaze playlist. (Billie Eilish, too.)
#music #DarkSojourn #Recovery2025 #shoegaze #somafm
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Also, SomaFM doesn't seem to have a shoegaze channel? What's with that?
#music #DarkSojourn #Recovery2025 #shoegaze #somafm
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Shoegaze hits different when I'm not in deep pain.
It's still really good, just different. I feel guarded against being triggered.
This stuff was possibly my #2 coping mechanism for years, second only to plant medicine. A sound louder than my pain yet gentle in its cacophony. That's shoegaze […]
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I'm actually full of excitement for the future for once.
#Recovery2025 #RVLife #Solarpunk #NoKings
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It's probably no help that it got very, very cold this week, earlier than it should have. And I'm living in a tin can that isn't winterized yet. In fact, the winterizing we had done (the skirting) was undone for the move. Now it all has to be redone in the cold.
I'm extremely grateful that I […]
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Really struggling today. This move is freaking me out far more than I would have guessed. Afterward, things are supposed to be much easier. But I partly don't believe that. And there are things that could go very wrong. Positive self-talk is doing me no good.
Objectively, this isn't even the […]
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Now I just gotta get the reflectix cut into window shades, weatherize the seams, finish building the compost toilet properly, and move under the snowshed that's currently being built. Then I'll be set for winter.
(The French drain is not happening this year, so daily outside pee-bottle emptying […]
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With the help of matcha with an add shot, I did manage to work just over an hour. I'll count that as a win. But then I really need to focus on actual rest tonight so I can excel tomorrow. No more binging Fortress Merge or Station Manager! Save it for the weekend! (I'll have to set a timer.) […]
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I've had a great week, finally on track, finally hitting my goals consistently without exhausting myself. My mental and physical health hasn't been this consistently good in ages.
Today I'm way off track though. Yesterday was a bit of a gauntlet, so I had no willpower with the iPad last night […]
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On the role of shame in autistic burnout.
www.dralicenicholls.com/the-role-of-shame-in-aut...
🧵
#ActuallyAutistic #AutDHD #burnout
#Recovery2025 #MECFS #ChronicIllness
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I went to bed early and slept twelve hours!!
#Recovery2025 #DarkSojourn
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September is my favorite month and it always goes too quickly. I look back at my last several Septembers and sure did make a pillow out of a sow's ear each time. Best September in a long time. I wasn't in severe pain for most of the days!
#Recovery2025 #DarkSojourn
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I know that part of my problem now is that when I get any spare energy, I tend to misuse it. I post long things here, which drains me faster than I realize. I obsessively play "harder" games on my iPad (they are not actually that hard), which is really fun because I've only been able to play […]
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I got through the gauntlet of September better off than I was when I started the thing. It required pushing at the right times, and pacing at the right times, but never letting up. I finished yesterday in flow, with many thoughts and feelings about how living with a toxic person all that time […]
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