#HOUvSEA FULLTIME ANALYSIS!
1) WET DOG MATCH
2) WET HAIR PAUL
3) I CAN ALREADY SMELL THE BUS
4) THE SMELLIEST JIMNGLE BELLS EVER
5) GOT ALL THREE UH DEEZ
6) LETS FUCKING GO TO MEXICO
#SGAFSU #EBFG #SAYFUCKING

#HOUvSEA HALFTIME ANALYSIS!
1) LORD NOUHOU
2) SAVIOR ANDREW
3) HOLY JESÚS
4) EAST COAST/GULF TROPICAL SPRING RAIN JUST HITS DIFFERENT BUT ITS STILL SEATTLE SUNSHINE
5) PAUL TO PAUL TO PAUL TO GOAL NOW PLEASE
#SGAFSU #EBFG

BRIAN SCHMETZER DID THIS FOR ME. FOR YOU. FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD. CAPTAIN NOUHOU EVERYONE. #SGAFSU #EBFG

#VANvSEA HALFTIME ANALYSIS!
1) YOUR TURF IN CONCACAF
2) I LIKE THAT WE HAVE A GUY NAMED SNYDER ON OUR TEAM
3) JESUS FERREIRA CONTINUES TO LIKE 3 PASSES IN THE FUTURE
4) ROLL YOUR ARRILLOAS
5) I HAVE BEEN DRINKING ALL AFTERNOON AND AM SOMEHOW DEHYDRATED
6) ILL BET NOUHOU MAKES GOOD TOAST
#SGAFSU

#STLvSEA FULLTIME ANALYSIS!
1) APPARENTLY WE ARE THE SEATTLE SAUNDERS NOW
2) ANDREW TUMMIS IS DELICIOUS IN GOAL AND DELIGHTFUL AS AN APPETIZER
3) WHOA SASSY IS GOING TO DUMP LOADS OF GOALS AS SOON AS HE GETS THAT FIRST ONE
4) CAPTAIN FANTASTIC HAS HIS HAND ON THE RUDDER
5) THE NOUHOU
#SGAFSU #EBFG

#STLvSEA HALFTIME ANALYSIS!
1) WHAT ARE CENTERBACKS AND WHY DO WE NEED THEM ANYWAY
2) GOLDEN RETRIEVER GOALKEEPER IS ALSO SOME HOW A JUNGLE KITTY
3) I ALREADY HATE THIS ROAD TRIP BECAUSE OF TV PLAY BY PLAY KOOKS
4) SOMEONE GET ME LIKE FOUR PAIRS OF THESE SHORTS
#SGAFSU #EBFG

#EBFG #SGAFSU

OH LOOK WHO CAME TO FUCK! ITS BRIAN SCHMETZER AND THE SEATTLE GODDAMN SOUNDERS MASSIVE HOG OF DOOM FORMATION! #EBFG #SGAFSU #RUINGOODTIMES #SAYFUCKING #STEPONMEDADDYSCHMETZER #MINvSEA

BUST THAT NUT BOYS LETS GOOOOOOOO #SGAFSU #SGABTN

THIS. IS. THE. SEX. NO MORE MISTER NICE SCHMETZER. SCORE GOALS AND FUCK SHIT UP. SEATTLE SOUNDERS CAME TO FUCK. #EBFG #SGAFSU #SEAvMIN #SAYFUCKING

HOLY SHIT THERES A NEW GUY NAMED JMOSMOOVS ON OUR TEAM!!! AND WHO IS THIS CRISTIAN TOLDAN GUY PLAYING NEXT TO STALWART VET SNYDER BRUHAHANELL?!?! ITS SEPTEMBER AND THERE IS NO WHITE ON YOUR BROWNCAPS SO EAT SHIT AND LOSE FUCKERS!!! #SGAFSU #EBFG #SUCKEGGS #BONFIRE #YOURMOM

#ATXvSEA FULLTIME ANALYSIS!
1) AH YES A TALE AS OLD AS TIME SOUNDERS NOT FINISHING 37 CHANCES AND INSERT WHOEVER THE FUCK HERE SCORES A COUPLE AND WE LOSE BY A GOAL AT THE DEATH
2) LETS GET OUR FUCKING MOJO BACK ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING LEAGUES CUP HANGOVER SHIT
3) YOUR MOM
#SGAFSU

#ATXvSEA HALFTIME ANALYSIS!!!
1) AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
2) DEFENSIVE BRAINFART FC
3) WHY DIDNT WE USE THE SUN MORE SHE WAS RIGHT THERE
4) NOOOUHOOOUUUUUUUUUOOUUU
5) FREE THE BEARDED BRASILIAN
6) HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS TAKE A FEW RUNS FROM THE M’S
#SGAFSU

#SEAvLAG FULLTIME ANALYSIS!
1) HI HELLO JORDAN
2) HI HELLO ALBERT
3) FUCKING BUTTFUCK FINISH (NOT THE GOOD WAY)
4) PLEASE STOP DROPPING POINTS TO THE GAGREFLAXY
5) THIS SQUAD IS SO SO SO DEEP (YES IN THE GOOD WAY)
6) FUCK IT ILL SEE YOU IN MY HOOD ON TUESDAY #SGAFSU
7) WE GOT A FUCK TON OF STICKERS

#SEAvLAG HALFTIME ANALYSIS!
1) HI HELLO IVE MISSED YOU TOO
2) SOMOS FUCKING SOUNDERS FOREVER
3) JUSÚS FAILED AT HITTING THE POST AND I FOR ONE AM UPSET
4) MOOSTOPHER IS THE MOST POPULAR NAME GIVEN TO NEW BORN BABIES THIS SEASON
5) OH LOOK WE FARTED RIGHT AFTER A GOAL AGAIN
6) 45’ TO #SGAFSU

LOOK AT ALL THESE HANDSOME AND WELL RESTED GENTLESIRS AND THEIR GLISTENING WARMED UP THIGHS READY TO MAKE GALAXY PUDDING I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS IVE BEEN PREGAMING FOR TUESDAY SINCE LAST TUESDAY VAMOS MUCHACHOS #SGAFSU #EBFG #PANDEMONIUM #SEAvLAG

SEATTLE INVENTED WINNING EVERYTHING #EBFG #SGAFSU

Away vs. Inter Miami FC | 2025-09-16 Watch the Sounders take on Inter Miami FC in the visiting supporter section at Chase Stadium. General admission. Get your tickets today!

YOU GUYS LIKE THIS MATCH??? YOU WANT TO GO SAY HI AT THEIR GARDEN SHED IN A COUPLE WEEKS?!? GET IN NOW!!! JOIN US HERE!!! #EBFG #SGAFSU #PANDEMONIUM #TROPICSOUND

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#SEAvMIA #LEAGUESCUP HALFTIME ANALYSIS!!!
1) OSWAGGY DEROSARIO ALL UP IN YOUR MOUTH
2) OBED FUCK YOU VARGAS DOESNT CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID HISTORY
3) PERRO DE LA VEGA IS THE GREATER 10
4) ROLDAN BROTHERS ARE BETTER AT SILVERWARE THAN THE FUCKING OLD FARTS
#SGAFSU #EBFG #SAYFUCKING #GETOFFMYPLANE

SEATTLE SUPPORTERS GROUP FROM MIAMI OUT MIAMI-ING MIAMI SUPPORTERS GROUP FUCK YOU GO SOUNDERS #SAYFUCKING #EBFG #SGAFSU #PANDEMONIUM

Pride coast to coast. #ebfg #sgafsu

SWEET FUCK THE MOOSE JUICE IS LOOSE ALL OVER SAINT LOSE VILLAGE… KEE HEE KILLIN THEM FOOLS… IS THAT GIANT DONKEY GINGER BOY STILL ON THEIR SQUAD? DOESNT HE KNOW HIS HAIR CLASHES WITH THOSE DUMB SHIRTS. SCORE GOALS. FUCK SHIT UP. FUCK YOU. GO SOUNDERS. DADDYS HOME #SEAvSTL #EBFG #SGAFSU #FUCKYOU

Turn this on its head, Georgi! #SGAFSU! 🏴‍☠️🍍

YELLING JINGLE BELLS AND KICKING BEERS AT 130 AM IN MIAMI YOU CANT TELL ME SHIT #EBFG #SGAFSU #SAYFUCKING

SWEEEET STEFAN FREI… LAUGHC DONT KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING #EBFG #SGAFSU

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA EAT THE FATTEST OF DICKS YOU FUCKING DORKS LETS GO #SGAFSU

Guess who is frustrated. Guess who goes into half seeing the light. #EBFG #SGAFSU

IS LAUGHC GETTING FRUSTRATIONS FOR CRYING?! IS DERS HURTING FEELING?! LETS GO #SGAFSU #EBFG

WELL WELL WELL BRIAN SCHMETZER WITH THE SNEAKY SNEAKY 3-4-2-1 DISGUISED AS A 4-2-3-1 THEY WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING!!! FUCK LA #EBFG #SGAFSU #PANDEMONIUM #LAFCvSEA