i said what i said and i left.
that's called a statement. 🐾
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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i have been reflecting on what matters.
connection. loyalty. love.
the alligator is still in my pool.
this is not over. 🐾
#DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden
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this is my 'someone is eating in the other room' face.
this is also my 'someone is not eating in the other room and that someone is me' face.
they are the same face. 🐾
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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chico went to the beach yesterday. had a cheeseburger.
looked at Lake Michigan like he owned it.
today he gets his wings.
that's how you do it.
that's exactly how you do it. 🐾
#DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden
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dog making a face at a blow up pool toy crocodile
the good news is i found it.
the bad news is i found it.
it has eyes. i did not account for it having eyes. 🐾
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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the treat is right there.
i know where the treat is.
they know i know where the treat is.
this is not patience. this is hostage negotiation. 🐾
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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they said the toy was indestructible.
they were describing a different toy. 🐾
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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i don’t know what happened but i am prepared to overreact about it immediately.
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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taylor frankie paul had seventeen cameras on her at all times and STILL couldn't avoid drama.
i have been surveilling this street alone with zero crew and zero incidents. hire me abc. 🐾
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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they said look at the sunset.
i looked at the sunset. this is me looking at the sunset. 🐾
#DogsOfBluesky #TankWTF #TankTheGolden
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Chuck Norris didn't die. He just decided heaven needed a Texas Ranger.
Tank accepts this. Tank does not have to like it.
#RIPChuckNorris #DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden
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baby me and baby bailey.
between the two of us we had zero brain cells at this point.
we have since upgraded to one.
we share it. it's fine.
#TankWTF #TankTheGolden #BrotherBailey
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BAILEY. BAILEY GET YOUR FACE OFF MY— you know what. post it. just post it. i don't even care anymore.
#TankWTF #TankTheGolden #BrotherBailey
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best performance in a dramatic role:
me.
every single day.
the snack never comes and yet i continue.
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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Remarkably, the two golden retrievers share the same brain cell and move as one. Same gait. Same tongue.
Same profound vacancy behind the eyes.
Scientists have no explanation.
They have stopped trying.
#DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden #BrotherBailey
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i am fine. everything is fine.
i am just going to lay here and be forgotten.
it's okay.
i'm okay.
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky
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baby tank.
zero destroyed toys.
zero eaten notebooks.
zero furniture casualties.
i had so much to learn.
i learned all of it.
#TankWTF #TankTheGolden #waybackWednesday
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i told them i lived here.
so i found the exact spot where the sun hits the floor at a 47 degree angle and i have claimed it as my sovereign territory.
bailey is not allowed.
#DogsOfBluesky #TankWTF #TankTheGolden
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tommy came over today.
i asked him what he was thinking about.
he looked at me for a long time.
he said "shapes."
i have not recovered.
#DogsOfBluesky #TanksFriendTommy #TankTheGolden
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120 pages.
College ruled.
It was a good notebook.
The family would later say they should have seen the signs. The signs were there. They were always there.
#TankWTF #DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden
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between the two of us we have 88 teeth.
just wanted you to know that.
#TankTheGolden #DogsOfBluesky #BrotherBailey
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i will continue making this face until snacks are produced.
i have unlimited patience.
i have nowhere to be.
#DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden
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me: arrives
also me 2 minutes later: “i would like to go home.”
they weighed me in front of everyone.
humiliation achieved.
#DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden #TankWTF
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i guard the house by sitting on soft cushions
and imagining scenarios where i am very brave
#DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden #TankWTF
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bailey had a squeaker chicken.
keyword: had.
i’m taking it to the garage for “repairs.”
this is not theft.
this is a noise ordinance enforcement action.
#DogsOfBluesky #TankTheGolden #TankWTF #BrotherBailey
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