I failed to close the baby gate and they managed to get out. #Dadfail

My son learned a valuable life lesson about marshmallows, fire and his mouth. Always wait until the fire is not on the marshmallows before putting it in your mouth. Didn't think I had to spell out "don't eat the fire" but here we are

#dadfail

Today I took my family to a farm tour where I witnessed two goats butting heads. I turned my infant son around to get a good look just as one keeled over and started twitching and I think it died. #dadfail

#DadFail

Embarrassed to say my 25yo daughter has a flat tire on the highway in Austin and is clueless about how to change it.

#dadfail #austin

Got my daughter DVDs of Mr Ben, I was so proud to watch it with her. She didn't even finish the first episode #dadfail

Like me buying the film Yellow Submarine and making my kids watch it because I thought it was brilliant when I was a kid.

And it’s irredeemably shit….decent songs but otherwise dreadful. #dadfail

Baby Girl Radio’s podcast gets wet when her sippy cup leaks! Her tough-guy roasts of Dad are gold! 😂 Want a talking baby or avatar? DM me for a quote! #BabyGirlRadio #SippyCupFail #SassyBaby #ParentRoast #FunnyBaby #AIBaby #TikTokHumor #ViralLaughs #PodcastBaby #DadFail

Realizing with dreadful clarity why Chase Travel offered a rock bottom vacation package for four to Ghorman, and the importance of staying more informed on galactic happenings #DadFail #FrugalDad #Andor #StarWars

It's Easter which means it's another year of explaining to the kids that the Easter Bunny either sucks at counting or has a terrible memory. #parenting #dadfail

Egads, that reminds me of the time I chose a Studio Ghibli film for family movie night without doing adequate research and ended up traumatizing my 10- and 7-year-old kids with Grave of the Fireflies. #dadfail

I showed the 5 year old a video of Steph Curry hitting a mid-court 3 pointer in the all-star game. Three guesses as to who attempted a 3 pointer in his YMCA 4/5 year olds game this weekend #DadFail

Sorry, this is #DADFAIL

LOL the start of this hockey game. My daughter can’t believe the fighting. Clearly didn’t make her watch enough growing up #dadfail

I had the bright(!) idea to watch it with my 10yo. After the ferry scene he asked, in a very small voice: ‘Is this a horror film?’ 😭

#dadfail

Reminds me of the time I decided on a Studio Ghibli film for family movie night, but didn't do a thorough review of it beforehand ...

... which is how my 10- and 7-year-old were introduced to Grave of the Fireflies.

#dadfail

I forgot to move the Elf on a shelf the very first night we had her. Major #dadfail. 😣 luckily my 7yo accepted that I was to blame for staying up too late and waking up frequently to check on the brisket I had on the smoker 😂

Yes, no doubt. I was then subjected to a treatise about how warm her coat is, how hot it is at her school, how she will be taking her coat off immediately at school and can’t bear to carry her coat AND a sweater all day, etc.

#dadfail

Well, my daughter came home today with some lovely plaits in her hair, as my massive failed attempt at bunches this morning fell out after an hour or so, so a teacher did it

#DadFail

Really cold day. Made child wear snow pants cause worried parent. She was concerned other kids wouldn't be wearing them since there was no snow.

Ron Howard voiceover: they weren't.

#Dadfail #tinychildworries

Things a father teaches his son: Work hard. Play by the rules. Be kind. How to replace a tire. Things this father totally forgot to teach their son, how to clean a gotdamn toilet #dadfail

A forest, mixed trees. Floor is covered in Autumnal leaf litter, very few leaves are on the trees. This was JUST where a pair of deer were, but sadly they scampered off

8YO spotted two deer on our hike. Which is awesome as he frequently is completed unaware of the surroundings.

#Dadfail at getting a picture though, they scampered out of shot

Days like today are the ones where the years of academic training & advanced degrees, provide no actual support in being able to help my kids financially as needed… #Dadfail

Folks, I'm not too proud to admit that the triumph you see before you was not, in fact, of my doing. Had @Knittedteacosy not figured out where I'd gone hideously wrong (very early on), @LittleCamembear would not now be in his element. #dadfail #manfail

TFW you forget to bring your kid to school on time because of the impeachment inquiry. #DadFail

When you realise that your kids are the kind of kids that you weren’t allowed to play with when you were younger... #DadFail

Nooooo! This morning’s efforts for the kids’ breakfast not going well … apparently my pancakes are too fat! #DadFail

Made pancake batter with water instead of milk this morning. They were okay. Rookie #dad mistake. #DadFail

3yr old just had me re-hang one of his paintings hung incorrectly #dadfail but 8yr old alerted me to a Chiffchaff in garden #dadsuccess