Missing silverware that can’t be found in your teens bedroom?
Check under the drivers seat of your car! The logical place to keep forks and spoons!
#Dadlyfe

Differences between oldest and youngest daughters. They all pay their share on phone plan.
Oldest: sends $5 more than bill within 2min of me saying they’re due.
Youngest: will spend a day trying to negotiate her bill down $3.

#dadlyfe

I have eaten
the leftover seafood tempura
that was in
the Fridge

and which
I guess you were
saving
for after school snack

Oh well
I bought it,
pay back for
all the things you've taken from me.
#dadlyfe

I have eaten
the blackberries
that were in
the fridge
and which
you were probably
saving
for a cobbler

What ever
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
And I didn’t have to buy them.

#DamnKids #Dadlyfe

A resealable bag of coconut flakes, opened by the 17yo, who cut it very nicely right below the ziploc connection where the bag says “resealable” and “tear here”

#Dadlyfe #ChristmasCookieBakeOff #ADHDTeens

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

They're old enough to do a lot of this themselves now, but the table still serves many purposes.

And the kids at the table will always come first.

#parenting #soloparenting #kidsfirstandalways #dadlyfe

So “crap the bed” is 5th grade but “S the B” instead of Shit the Bed isn’t? Dude. Do you also think “____ more sleeps” is normal adult behavior too? #kids #dadlyfe #daddingsodaddinghard

But why are there bowls, plates, and forks in your bathroom cabinet? It's more work to put in there than bring it to the kitchen! #Dadlyfe #ADHDTeens #

Drive to the store to buy things that were forgotten.
Drive back to the store to exchange thing for other thing that is "better"
Be told to leave the room while decorating is going on.
Be sent to the store for other decor needs

All the while keeping my mouth shut and paying for everything.
#DadLyfe

Parasta just nyt: kantoliina. Uskomatonta, että on molemmat kädet vapaana ja vauvakin leppoisalla tuulella. 😄 Kiitokset tämän mahdollistamisesta entisaikojen afrikkalaisille äideille. 🙏 #dadlyfe

Any time I have one hand on the steering-wheel the 4 year old yells "TWO HANDS ON THE WHEEL!"

Easily the most useful back seat driver I've ever had.

#DadLyfe

“I need to do some dopamine shopping.” Says K2 while pointing out stick and poke tattoos (alleged) on K4.
Wife “they’re your kids.”
Be back later, going biking…. #DadLyfe

Text from K4 If i go pick up a meatloaf from publix will you make it for me for lunch plesee Please

“Dad, the meatloaf!”
When life imitates art. Looks like someone is going to learn how to preheat an oven and set a timer…
#Dadlyfe

My favorite part of this trip might just be how the battery in our plug-in hybrid van got charged to 50% just while going down the big mountain on Highway 441 between Cherokee and Gatlinburg.
I think I've already got my
#DadLyfe thing for @celebrityhottub.bsky.social's Fathers Day thread next year.

The wife and I in Montana. I’m wearing cargo shorts because I’m a Dad. I’m wearing my MJ Lenderman shirt because I’m a “cool” Dad. #DadLyfe

People walking down the beach. A kid in a salmon shirt carries a red cooler.

Beach dunes at Anastasia State park,

The Atlantic Ocean

Ah yeah, finally a kid to carry the cooler to the beach. #DadLyfe

I got a few more hours of sleep, I got my quarterly bonus from work, I got over halfway done with my chapter list for my novel, and I had a decent cup of coffee.

#happyfriday #dadlyfe

Picture of the display of a car. The gas tank is empty. 0 miles remain.

When she leaves her car home for you to borrow…. #Dadlyfe

Somehow the things she needs from the grocery store is nothing, but the things she likes to have around the house is quite long…
#WhenTheyMoveBackHome #Dadlyfe

Internal memory on my phone is filling up. It’s just videos of my 8yr old and 1yr old sitting and reading in the morning. The baby boy’s babbling is too cute not to record and his sister is so amazing I must capture this.

#ParentSky #DadLife #DadLyfe #kiddos #DadLad

No one prepares you for the fact that your teen will just lose all their socks and take yours. All the time. #Dadlyfe

Piss off your teen by just wearing your bib shorts around. #Dadlyfe

Getting a parent to take you to a baseball game: fun!
Going to a baseball game with both parent! Ugh, the worst bro. Embarrassing.
#DadLyfe

But why are you practicing your chipping in the living room on the new(ish) carpet? #Dadlyfe

Me: woah, where did the tree go.
K4: I took it did down like you said (5ish min ago).
Me: and it’s in the box.
K4: yeah, it’s in the box
Me: and the box is closed?
K4: well, uh… um.

#DadLyfe #Teens #JustBarelyHelpful

“Daaaad, will you bring me coffee in bed?”
#SheLearnedItFromYouMom. #DadLyfe

Get you a 22yo that shows up at the house at 5:05pm asking for an espresso martini… #Dadlyfe

What's it like raising a teenager?

"Hey, I'm going to Five Guys. You want your usual?"

"Yeah. Can I also get a banana shake?"

"If you want a shake you have to come with me."

"OK no shake."

#DadLyfe

Pleasant 55f this AM, heading out to the gym I wonder why I hear a heat unit running.
Looking up I see the window to K4’s room wide open & my money flying out it
#Dadlyfe