More. Because you have survived and live for knowing yourself more than any other #temetnosce #domjoke #crickets #thisisnthumsnfun

Cataracts confirmed diagnosis. I mean, I knew they were there. The true extent was mind blowing when I saw the data.

I saw the data. No, I did not. Cataracts hahahahaha.

Last formal shift of 2025 and I’m having a laugh at myself.

#domjoke #crickets #blindfaith #eyeseewhatyoudidthere

Things I’ve carried in my life #83,757

The brittas empire, (Brit comedy) had the protagonist try and inform a guest presenter how to use their slideshow presentation with a “clicker” with an ever increasing amount of number of clicks.

It was hysterical.
#clickertraining #clicker #goodpet #domjoke

To quote the great John Becker M.D.

You know Santa, the traditional greeting is Ho Ho Ho,

If a pretty girl walks by and you just say Ho, she has every right to slap you.

#seasonalbdsm #merrychristmas #domjoke

And as a bonus, you are the gift that keeps on giving.

If gamer girls can sit in a bath and take lewd pictures for social media and then sell the bath water.

Surely I can scrape my sweat off into an atomiser bottle, add a proportion of high quality vodka, a buffer and a top note and then sell it right?

Right?

#eaudekink #musk #musky #sweat #domjoke

A Doberman Fursuiter applied to work in a German bakery. He went through the normal interview process and was told to start the following week.

He got fired the first day.

His best friend asked why?

“They told me to twist the pretzels into knots.”

#crickets #domjoke #furryfunny #cringe

Bluesky thought my paw play trampling four second video with my puppy girl, was so sexy. It automatically added a THIRD label. The SECOND label of adult content.

Wow. Does this make it “extra adult” I think I might be on a kind of watch list now.

#domjoke #sarcasm #moderation #contentlabels

Unlike some individuals. I’m a predator, hunter. I love the taste of GAMEY meat. The stringyness as they run to evade you.

The depth of flavour from years of evolution to improve blood flow and muscle development. The downside is the consoles getting in the way.

#eatpreylove #crickets #domjoke

Cw medical play:

Polytape? Keeps the polycule close together.

Bone wax? Well honey, it keeps the condition great for sliding in.

I won’t even show you the picture of the YANKEUR sucker. It maybe skinny but it’s deep throat training gold.

#domjoke #crickets #medicalplay #doctorsandnurses #bdsm

If money was no object, I would hire a contingent of aesthetically pleasing handlers to act as a mobile cooling entourage. (I loathe summer) They would have many uses and purposes; each one specifically interacted with.

The tools of their trade for my enjoyment?

Only fans.

#crickets #domjoke

Sentience in inanimate things.

Communal property. Push the right buttons. It makes cute little noises. It gets hot. Steamy. Gushes. You then pat it on the head.

Good girl. It waits for its next owners contact.

A coffee machine. Is a perfect sub.

#domjoke #bdsmjoke #caffeine #casualvore

Grindr growlr recon scruff.

The eeny meeny miny
Mo for random hookups.

If sexual lifestyle apps had dance moves, it’ll be a top hit on YouTube.

#domjoke #crickets #strappeddowncomedy

If you’re a champion receiver of impact play. Get someone to give you a real good pat on the back.

#domjoke #terriblejoke #impactplay

Rubber drones are so versatile. They become their own squeaky toy.

#domjoke #drone #petplay

Looney tunes, merrie melodies and bugs bunny shenanigans.

Casual vore kinkster: did watching bugs bunny voluntarily baste himself in stock and vegetables in order to escape Elmer Fudd turn me into a vore lover?

No. Of course not.

#casualvorethoughts #eatpreylove #domjoke #sub-wayeatfresh

Remember, remember; the fifth of November.

Happy V day, tops? Wear a Guy Fawkes mask, get the biggest strap on you can and call it the train.

Get your bottom into position and call them the Houses of Parliament.

Give them a 5th of November they’ll never forget. Blow them up.
#domjoke #vday

Today was the Melbourne cup in Australia. The “race that stops the nation”.

I’ve seen enough horse furries and associated in kind to picture the role reversal.

Hell, if they are top notch stallions, they’d be worth it right?

#ridingcrop #impactplay #domjoke #thoroughbred #equinefurry

Monet was a world renowned painter because he had cataracts. I have cataracts. So far they are manageable but woe betide me on a dungeon night where I spank the wrong sub because I couldn’t see mine.

#sensorydeprivation #domjoke #healthawareness

@wyldpackpup.bsky.social get me a blind cane.

Why did the sub get kicked out of the bakery?

They kept trying to knead my attention.

Too bad I only serve slices of humiliation 🍞

#femdom #dadjokes #humiliation #findom #simp #sub #beta #domjoke #loser