Celtic cross spread Heart of the matter: nine of swords. dark visions & anguish. Depression. Insomnia. Worries at midnight. Despair. Desperation. Battling with myself. Opposing factors: the lovers. Union. Desire. Joy. Strong relationships. Nourish. Honor & respect. Root cause: the empress. mother. Creation/nature. Compassion. Fertile. Wants more love. Reconnecting with nature. Past: daughter of wands. Free spirit. Busy in career. Stubborn much stronger than one seems. Transformation and spiritual breakthrough. Visionary passionate. Goal: high priestess. Mystery & psychic wisdom. Intuition and realms. Listen more closely to voices within. Future: nine of wands. Strength stamina and confidence. Doubt & fear. Final stretch. Rally confidence see how far ive come. Everything will pay off. You: father of cups. Diplomatic & open minded. Insecurity. Patron of art. External influence: 3 of swords. Betrayal heartbreak & turmoil. Emotional entanglement. Hopes & fears: 8 of wands. Sudden change. Clairty like lightning. Surrounded by it. Idenity. Final outcome: ace of swords. Truth and clarity. Make decisions ive put off.

Heart of the matter: nine of swords: dark visions & anguish. Depression. Insomnia. Worries at midnight. Despair. Desperation. Battling with myself.

Kinda scares me how close to home these hit sometimes. Did a reading on my current situation. Drew 9 of swords right out the gate. All I could think of was my 2 tumors. Outcomes are positive overall, just gotta be careful with external influences. #tarot #wildanimaltarot #narrativework

It's strange, Looking into my father's eyes in a photograph And seeing contentment— When not long ago, He tried to kill my mind, my body, my spirit In drunken rages. It's not resentment I feel, But a sadness in knowing I didn't have to suffer so young. Had he chosen truth, Had he sought help, Had he picked his family over the demons That follow him like a plague— Their residue still lingering In the place I once called home. The suffering I didn’t have to experience, The suffering another chose for me. That hurts more than the hits, The choking, The verbal onslaughts— Telling me I was a waste Of egg and sperm, Because I wasn’t born with a penis. The suffering another chose for me. If you're a father, by blood or by choice, Rejoice, Be grateful That your child never had to consider Killing you or herself To escape hell. Remember this the next time you doubt If you're getting it right. Hold them tight for me, Okay?

Watching Thru My Fingers #poem #poetry #blueskypoem #blueskypoet #bluejaypoems #poet #trauma #childhoodtrauma #parenthood #writing #writer #blueskypoet #freewrite #narrativework #sadness