Jenny died too soon And Forrest tore the house apart Like grief could be dismantled Board by board B-Rabbit lit the match Watched a past go up in smoke Like fire could cauterize The memory itself I ask myself: When is it my turn? When do I get to burn down the house To salt the earth Where I was broken Touched without consent Beaten beyond recognition Twice that house burned The first time... Before my feet knew those floors Before the walls learned my voice The second time... It was me I tried to make coffee And the kitchen burst into flame Like the house rejected me Or I rejected it first

Maybe that was the sign That I was never meant To survive there quietly That everything rotting Beneath that roof Would try to smother me Before my embers could catch And now they rebuild it As if you can stitch life Back into a corpse I still hear things Whispers about me Like I always belonged to it I saw shadows move Where nothing should A man hanging In the corner of my room And scratches No hands could claim I don’t know if it was ghosts Or what was done to me But something in that house Knew me Still pacing the halls Still whispering my name

One day I'll strike the match Watch it all come undone And in the glow of it I'll finally understand I wasn't the thing That needed to be destroyed I'll dance in the firelight Not to celebrate the ashes But to prove It never buried me "I wasn’t the thing that needed to be destroyed."

My House of The Dead

#poem #writing #poet #horror #writingcommunity #existential #creepy #supernatural #trauma #bluejaypoems

I envy those ahead of me not for wisdom not for effort but for their distance They are already where their light has not yet reached me I am still here watching afterimages of who they were while they continue further out There is no waiting in a universe that only expands By the time I understand where I am they are no longer there only the record of their passing I move but everything moves faster We are not separated by choice but by light And I am always arriving too late To a place that has already gone dark

Existential Ep. 2: Cosmic

#poem #writing #poet #writingcommunity #existential #cosmic #bluejaypoems

I carry this envy for those older than me. Not for their wisdom or effort, not because I had to grow up early I resent that they’re levels ahead and didn’t wait for me in the lobby. While I was still learning how I died last round. By the time I reach them they’ve logged into another server playing a life without me. Why didn’t you wait? Why do I always spawn alone?

Existential Ep. 1: Gaming

#poem #writing #poet #writingcommunity #existential #gaming #bluejaypoems

Part 1 Take us with a grain of stardust We are all as insignificant as raindrops drowning an ant colony & at the same time— we, like ants, are one of many & the many make up the whole We aren’t perfect entities walking on two legs, carrying fire in our hands & blood in our veins You’re better off talking to the roots of ancient woods, the thousand flaps of a hummingbird’s wings, the melody of a river rolling into an ocean tide,

Part 2 the bones of reptiles who rose and fell before us— who passed the baton to little furred creatures with tiny feet & tails & illusions of grandeur— 66 million years in the making We’ve weaponized the particles that make up our forms & dropped suns upon each other We’ve ripped babes from mothers, consumed one another We’ve loved for the sake of it— & in that love was a madness that brought out the best & worst of our kind A love so powerful it could divide us, collapse mighty empires & still give rise

to that small drop of cosmic euphoria you’d call hope Oh yes— this world is beautiful it is dangerous & we, the happy few who are left, will love you all the same 

All Parts Together/ Full Poem Take us with a grain of stardust We are all as insignificant as raindrops drowning an ant colony & at the same time— we, like ants, are one of many & the many make up the whole We aren’t perfect entities walking on two legs, carrying fire in our hands & blood in our veins You’re better off talking to the roots of ancient woods, the thousand flaps of a hummingbird’s wings, the melody of a river rolling into an ocean tide, the bones of reptiles who rose and fell before us— who passed the baton to little furred creatures with tiny feet & tails & illusions of grandeur— 66 million years in the making We’ve weaponized the particles that make up our forms & dropped suns upon each other We’ve ripped babes from mothers, consumed one another We’ve loved for the sake of it— & in that love was a madness that brought out the best & worst of our kind A love so powerful it could divide us, collapse mighty empires & still give rise to that small drop of cosmic euphoria you’d call hope Oh yes— this world is beautiful it is dangerous & we, the happy few who are left, will love you all the same 

My Letter To Aliens Discovering Earth

#poem #freewrite #humans #cosmichorror #humansascosmichorror #love #life #universe #aliens #writing #blueskypoet #bluejaypoems #poetry #poetrywriter #existential

Rome is on fire Our gods are dead We are mere men While ash rains upon us Like bittersweet tears I'll dance with a smile on my face & face my fears The old world is gone The new is being birthed We with burnt feet & abundant laughter Are the midwives to come Until then we dance Because the monsters who ruled Are as good as dead We are free to hope & I hope we dance Until the end times pass

Ode To The New World To Come
#poem #poetry #blueskypoet #bluejaypoems #hope #antidoomer #skypoet #writingcommunity #dancing #dystopia #hopium

Close your eyes & leave your fears behind

There's nothing left, no need to pretend

My arm around your shoulder aches as we watch the sky turn gold

I never apologized for the #extrusion

I do crazy things when in love

The end of this world was worth watching with you

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

Caught up in a foggy mist You pull me from the edge of bliss. I can’t remember where we are— Can’t imagine going far. We’re falling out of stars, Flying in cars with boys. The scent of you—it cuts too deep; In silence now, I barely sleep. My memories pour out like rain— Washed away, and what remains? A canvas drained of every hue That once could block the sight of you. I wish you’d pick me off the floor And place me where I was before: Face to face, No space. Hit me with your highs and lows, Your buried grief, your inner glow— Shouting with a reckless grin: “There you are"

Time Flow #bluejaypoems #poetry #poem #smallpoem #time #space #romance #writing #writingcommunity #poet #writer #nostalgia #freewrite #lyrical #existential #love #experimental #indiepoet

We come #together
Like oil & water.
Fractals of rainbows
Floating in devotion—
Touch in denial.

Part of you stays
& it hurts so good, my dear,
That you're so near—
I can’t feel the teeth
Of the crocodile.

Splitting our houses
A plague upon us,
The opposites
Who attract.

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

I don't belong in spaces of men & women. I'm too much for one, too little for the other. I value platonic love — my atoms crave other atoms who knew each other since the Big Bang. But either party misconstrues my desire as a sexual invitation. I'm tired of being an object when I'm just alien. I'm tired of both sides trying to shape stardust into their image.

Gender Ascender. #poem #poetry #bluejaypoems #pride #lgbtq #gender #nonconforming #sexism #blueskypoet #poet #writer #writingcommunity #nonbinary #neurodivergent #freewrite #indiepoet

It's strange, Looking into my father's eyes in a photograph And seeing contentment— When not long ago, He tried to kill my mind, my body, my spirit In drunken rages. It's not resentment I feel, But a sadness in knowing I didn't have to suffer so young. Had he chosen truth, Had he sought help, Had he picked his family over the demons That follow him like a plague— Their residue still lingering In the place I once called home. The suffering I didn’t have to experience, The suffering another chose for me. That hurts more than the hits, The choking, The verbal onslaughts— Telling me I was a waste Of egg and sperm, Because I wasn’t born with a penis. The suffering another chose for me. If you're a father, by blood or by choice, Rejoice, Be grateful That your child never had to consider Killing you or herself To escape hell. Remember this the next time you doubt If you're getting it right. Hold them tight for me, Okay?

Watching Thru My Fingers #poem #poetry #blueskypoem #blueskypoet #bluejaypoems #poet #trauma #childhoodtrauma #parenthood #writing #writer #blueskypoet #freewrite #narrativework #sadness

Emotional affairs hurt worse than physical ones. Sex is one thing: raw, fleeting, even meaningless, but when you have sex with another persons mind, when your soul leans into theirs, it leaves you wrecked in a way language struggles to describe. I don't think even the best of cryptic metaphors could do it justice, but I'll say this: Being naked with another is fun, but to be spiritually naked? That's vulnerability on another plane. One with a power that changes you. It morphs you into something feral you didn't recognize until you'd already jumped off the cliff, not thinking, just trusting that the fall is well worth the fear. That kind of closeness rewires you. You hand over parts of yourself that you didn't know were up for grabs, and when its reciprocated, it feels like your atoms are exploding at the seams, but you don't care because in the eye of the supernova, they're standing there with you. Then the dust settles, and there are no hands left to collect your ash.

Guess who had therapy today? #poem #poetry #bluejaypoems #blueskypoems #writing #poet #writingcommunity #poetrycommunity #writer #mentalhealth #freewrite #drabble

There are a thousand worlds

In the #single threads of a bird feather

Than there are philosophers who dreamt of flying

Who never dared to spread their arms

Be the thread of a feather

For the universe favored you being here to witness

A world in a moment in flight

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

I could've turned your world Inside out You would've wanted for Nothing because I'd make sure in dreams You'd run so far That there'd be no more Horizons Because you're the distance The past and present Shaped into a future that Took human form That neither of us will see In this lifetime Sometimes I wonder if you Miss it The idea of what it could've Been like to love me I realized years too late the Burden isn't mine to carry

Distance #poem #poetry #skypoet #blueskypoet #bluejaypoems #writing #love #unrequited #indiepoet #freewrite

Loving you is like yearning
To see a lost civilization

At the peak of its wonder
And majesty

It hurts like losing my love
Alexandria to the fires

In my #defense
You made me walk my ruins

To see what was left of Temples and gods

I once worshipped in my
Body's name

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

The cicadas have come home to roost Their old tymbals chirp and carry across the wind Reminding me that I'm older and that this life grows shorter In all these years, they've come and gone The sweetest thing I found was you I have no reason to pretend I have no reason to be afraid That when our songs fade into the wind I'll see your face again

Cicadas #bluejaypoems #skypoet #poem #poetry #blueskypoems #freewrite #Cicadas #poet #indiepoet

Once in a while I feel peace As the slumber of a thousand years in one night Comes to take us away I'm wearied broken yet I ask Would you let me lie in your arms We don't have to say a word As I feel your warmth soothe my fears I know that I will love you with my dying breath //I posted this earlier but decided to add onto the photo itself

Flooding
#bluejaypoems #triassiccuddle #fossils #poetry #writing #indiepoet #karnalthebluejay #mypoetry #poem #freewrite

I am exhausted

A thousand truths flow through me

Wanting to burst out

#haiku #freewrite #poetry #bluejaypoems

I log onto your #website

Clicking at your username

There's cobwebs and broken code, I chew the skin off my lips

I know we're never going to be the same

I can't delete the past, but I can deliver the final blow

Take what's left of me, this virus, and send the hate below

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

Would you blame me if I said

I wish we could #return

To the timeline

Where you and I were friends

Maybe even lovers if I play my cards right

I was never a gambler

I never liked to roll the dice

But I'd bet my money on you anyday

Even though you won't have me anymore

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

I want to be your naked mirror

I want to see the fractures and the ash

Peel me away like changing the clothes off a mannequin

Look around my organs and the churning snakes

The grievences the joy all coiled into 1 being

I hope to see the same when I look inside of you

#bluejaypoems #poem

If it's not pretty and packaged in a bow

Maybe 10 likes

If it's disco whimsical existential masochistic nonsense

Maybe 30 on a good day

If it's carnal and macabre, lustful pride curdling toe scrunching pleasure

Maybe 6 unfollows

Humanities moral algorithm
strikes again

#bluejaypoems #poem

Don't get it twisted, and let me make this all up to you

I didn't hide from the world
because I chose to

I hid from the world because
the people that run the joint

Didn't know what to do with me

I guess that's my fault too

#bluejaypoems #poem

I never should've loved you
with a full heart and a
glass empty.

I wonder what the #plan is
moving forward.

What parts of our history
will be unwritten & retold.

It's true I've never amounted
to anything, but I sure mounted onto you.

You'll never be rid of me.

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

In the hiraeth, I wonder
Where do we go when
The world stops turning

Did I lose my way
When nostalgia took me
Under and led me astray

I didn't need a #promotion
I needed two hands
To keep me tethered

No stitching these wounds
They gotta air out and I
Gotta go my own way

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

I fear no evil But he likes to follow Close behind Murmuring promises And illusions of grandeur Through thick blue eyes I'm the cobra swaying And he's the pungi Dragging me along For the ride He keeps his distance But it's only a matter of time Till he gets close enough Then I'll bite As my venom fills his eyes I hope that he will see The healing that comes From swallowing His own damn poison For a change

Evil Healing
#poem #bluejaypoems #writingcommunity #poetrycommunity #poet #indiepoet #angst #freewrite #skypoet #darkpoetry #mind

Cold calls
Drift in
My ears

Ringing voices
Whispering riddles
Incongruent nonsense

I stumble
And rise
Seeing reality
For lies

My memories
The essence
Drown out
The #marketing

My worth
Tied up
In bonds
Left rotting

Feeling sullen
I pray
My value
Shines peace

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

I gotta little bit of Save the world in me I could've been your Samwise Gamgee I would've carried you Up mountains I could've taken off Your burdens I wasn't a diamond in Your eyes My value wasn't gold Shouldn't be surprised Yet I dare to dream I could've been your hero If you'd let me in Your ring

Feeling A Little Samwise
#bluejaypoems #poetry #poem #tlotr #lordoftherings #samwisegamgee #skypoet #poetrycommunity #writingcommunity #freewrite #indiepoet

Men have the Roman Empire
And meanwhile
I have Alexandria
And her flames are the wings
To my phoenix

I carry the souls of
Lost words
In every breath my synapses
Take

I'll never break away
From her chains
For she's sanctuary
In the eyes of fire
Through the gods

#poem #bluejaypoems #Alexandria

On these sleepless nights
I reach for #luggage
That was never there

I reach for alignment
Ignoring that I never
Bought a ticket

It dawns on me
As the night brings out
The gifts of my imperfection

All the near misses
Were signposts
From the universe

Bringing you closer

#vss365 #bluejaypoems

I will
Get out of
My own way

I will
Run
So far
I'll churn
Oil into water

I will
Breathe in
#Euphoria suds
Remnants of stars
Carry on
The bliss

I will
Bear witness
A horizon
With no line
That can
Take me
Higher

I will
Honor loss
For there is
No time
Like
The present

#vss365 #bluejaypoems