Page 1: Two penguins, one in a plaidish purplish hat and the other in a grey-blue hat, are waddling along a path by the sea under a dark blue sky with dramatic clouds. Plaidish hat: I'm really having a problem with brutalist philosophy. Grey-blue hat: That's not philosophy, it's architecture.

Page 2: The penguins are still waddling on the path. The sky is getting a little less dramatic. Plaidish hat: Oh. Sorry. I always get those mixed up. So what's the one that says you can be as awful as you want and it's ok, because you're the only one who actually exists and you're making everything up? Grey-blue hat: That's solipsism! And it's easy to refute!

Page 3: The penguins are still waddling on the path. The sky is more turquoise now. Grey-blue hat: I mean, my imagination is really good, but it's not that good! Plaidish hat: (thought) Mine is. Grey-blue hat: Now I know you haven't studied it academically, but those of us who have know philosophy is more than just coming up with weird ideas, like "we live in a simulation" and whatnot.

Page 4: The penguins are still waddling on the path, but the scene is now revealed to be a panel in a comic strip, with parts of preceding and subsequent panels visible on a photoshop checkered background. Plaidish hat: Or "We live in a comic strip"...? Grey-blue hat: Now that's just crazy talk!

This week's penguin: Easy enough to get confused.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #philosophy #surrealism

Page 1: Two penguins are sitting in a living room, one on the left wearing a lavender hat and looking down at a lavender tablet computer; the one on the right has a green hat and is looking down at a green tablet. Green hat: Awww... Lavender hat: What? Green hat: Nostalgia! From when I had to leave that old bird conversation app.

Page 2: A screenshot of the Great Penguin's profile on the site, which shows that the Great Penguin is following the green hat penguin. The Great Penguin is listed as "deity, herring aficionado, multiverse hobbyist" and "Joined Since Forever." Also, is following 569.1K other users. Green hat (offscreen): I found the screenshot I took to prove the Great Penguin was following me! Lavender hat (offscreen): I vaguely remember that. Wasn't the Great Penguin also following a trawler-load of other users? Like 500,000?

Page 3: Back to the view of the two penguins, now looking at each other. Green hat: Yes! Which means I'm one in half a million! Lavender hat: Technically. I guess. But I don't think that means what you think it means. Why did you leave, anyway? Green hat: The whole site just devolved into a toxic giant flame war about whether herrings or mackerels were tastier. Lavender hat: Ha! Like who would ever get that wrong!

Page 4: The penguin in the green hat has returned to looking at the tablet. The penguin in the lavender hat is looking at the green hat penguin in surprise. Green hat: And I mean, I love herrings and all, but given a choice of a sushi grade mackerel, why ever wouldn't I take it? Lavender hat: Wait what?

This week's penguin: Things you might not think to ask.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #twitter

Page 1: The screen of a laptop running a fish-themed chatbot program, the prompt "use my profile image to create a headshot for the author photo on a book cover.", and a generated head shot of a penguin with a deerstalker hat decorated by a bronze herring, smoking a pipe, and wearing a plaid scarf. Voice of penguin: Why do I look like a detective? Voice of chatbot: You read so many murder books!

Page 2: You see the penguin, wearing a straw hat, seated at the laptop, which has a fish logo on the back. Voice of chatbot: Also you often seem to mad enough to want do a murder yourself. I just assumed that's what you were writing. Voice of penguin: I'm sure I could. I'm afraid the research involved would give me too many... ideas.

Page 3: Still a view of the penguin, seated at the laptop, Voice of chatbot: OK, let me make an image that's more dignified, and also aligned with the theme of the book. What's the title? Penguin: "Don't Use AI, It's Guano"

Page 4: The screen of the laptop again, this time with a generated image of the penguin with a red ball clown nose, wearing a jester hat decorated with a neon green fish and UFO deely bobbers. Voice of penguin: Very funny. Voice of chatbot: I wouldn't know.

This week's penguin: the state of the art of the synthetic sense of humor.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #AIHumor

Page 1: A penguin is sitting in front of a laptop (the screen is not visible) and talking on the phone with a MegaMonopoly Tech Support agent. Agent: MegaMonopoly Website Calendar support! Penguin: I'm trying to schedule a weekly meeting. But the only dates it will schedule it for are really weird. Agent: What dates exactly?

Page 2: The laptop screen is visible, showing a calendar for the Cosplay Viking Swimming Society with the banner image of a penguin in a viking hat swimming in turquoise water, for the month of March, with three "Open Swim" events at inconvenient times. Penguin: A Sunday at 3:15am, a Friday at 7:30 pm, and the following Saturday at 11:24 am! Agent: And your complaint is...? Penguin: For one? That's not how weekly works! Agent: Each of those days falls in some week, though. So. No problem? Penguin: Not good enough.

Page 3: The view has switched back to the penguin sitting at the laptop, talking on the phone, a little closer. Agent: We don't apologize, of course! But that's probably a side effect of replacing the full staff of live programmers with adorable and trendy AI bots! Penguin: Let me guess...

Page 4: The same view of the penguin sitting at the laptop, talking on the phone, a little more close. Penguin: The bots were trained by the outgoing coders...? Agent: Well that certainly worked ok for me!

This week's penguin: I'm writing a bot that will argue with tech support bots.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #TechSupport #AIBots

Page 1: A penguin wearing a hat with fake fur and eyeballs is waddling into in a medical office where a doctor penguin sits behind a desk. Doctor: The diagnosis is, you have "dodgy tummy syndrome." Eyeball hat: Can you Latin that up a bit for me? It doesn't sound official enough to get a referral to a specialist.

Page 2: The doctor penguin has pulled out a prescription scroll with incomprehensible writing. Doctor: Oh, no need! It's all in this comprehensive prescription! Which I can explain to you... Eyeball hat: Oh, no need. My Gramps was a doctor. I can read scribble.

Page 3: The penguin in the eyeball hat is reading the prescription scroll. Eyeball hat: So... a restrictive diet... not so great... of the best tasting herrings ever bred.. so that is ok...and also covers periodic nest calls...? Doctor: Totally standard these days! I'm available Thursdays. Around dinnertime.

Page 4: The eyeball hat penguin is looking up from the prescription scroll. The doctor penguin is looking down at a computer screen. Eyeball hat: Where did you get your doctor license again? Doctor: Fell off the back of a truck. Also totally standard.

This week's penguin: The odd kind of health care that's available in the Penguiverse.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #grift

Page 1: A penguin in a straw hat is waddling towards a penguin with a blue hat, who has been working at a lathe but also is looking at sheet music. A double-belled euphonium is leaning on the wall. Straw hat: What's with the sheet music? Blue hat: My jazz band got tired of me talking about woodturning all the time. They said "Just write us a song about it" so I did. Straw hat: What's it called?

Page 2: Close up of the sheet music, which is titled "Smoke May Get in Your Eyes, But Sawdust Gets Everywhere", as the penguin in the blue hat passes it to the penguin in the straw hat. Blue hat: "Smoke May Get in Your Eyes, But Sawdust Gets Everywhere" Straw hat: That should probably be "Shavings Get..." Blue hat: I'm not that good yet!

Page 3: Wider view. The penguin in the straw hat is still holding the sheet music. The penguin in the blue hat is collecting the double-belled euphonium. Blue hat: Want me to sing it for you? Straw hat: I suspect it will make me itch, so no thank you.

Page 4: Both penguins are waddling off to the left; the penguin in the straw hat is still holding the sheet music, and the penguin in the blue hat is carrying the double-belled euphonium. Straw hat: So you have two hobbies you'll never make any money at? Blue hat: I'm thinking of picking up a third! Or possibly a martial art. Straw hat: So knitting then.

This week's penguin: If you've had the tools of your craft confiscated before air travel, your hobby is pretty bad-tailfeathers.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #woodturning #jazz #knitting

Page 1: A penguin with a blue Renaissance style hat is waddling in to the Renaissance Faire tent of a fortune teller penguin, who is wearing a purple Renaissance style hat and sitting at a round painted table with a deck of Tarot cards. Blue hat: My sister bought me a reading, or I wouldn't be here! So don't give me any woo-woo "it's magic!" whale pucky! Purple hat: Some very smart penguins say magic is just science we haven't figured out yet! Our brains receive huge streams of information constantly! And condense it down into intuition! And the cards distract my conscious mind just enough so I can catch that information! Blue hat: Huh. That sounds reasonable. So it probably isn't.

Page 2: The penguin with the blue hat is at the table with the penguin with the purple hat, who has turned over a few cards. Purple hat: You spend twice as much on "Trawler Wars" loot boxes as you admit to, you needed help from your cat to pass physics, and your biggest fear is that other penguins will find out what kind of music you really like. Blue hat: Reasonable guesses given my age and demo. Purple hat: Also you wonder why most penguin fortunetellers read cards instead of something more exotic. Blue hat: That's hardly specific enough to - Purple hat (interrupting): Specifically, entrails. Blue hat: Whoa... Purple hat: And it's because, yuck.

Page 3: A close up of the cards on the table, penguin versions of High Priestess, Magician,Hermit, 5 of Cups, Ace of Cups, Two of Wands, and Strength. Blue hat: How could you possibly know all that? I mean the "Entrails" card isn't even on the table! Purple hat: Any questions? Blue hat: Is there anything else you know that you shouldn't???

Page 4: Back to a wide shot of the penguins at the table with the cards laid out. Purple hat: Yeah, your sister. We're in the same "Woo Woo and Neuroscience" book club. Also she owed me the exact amount I charge for a reading. Blue hat: Ah-hah!

This week's penguin: I follow the literary convention of the cards shown having nothing to do with the reading.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #tarot #neuroscience

Page 1: Two penguins are waddling towards each other on a stone path. One is an adult wearing a turquoise hat, and the other is a juvenile wearing a plaid hat. A black cat is walking a little ahead of the adult penguin. Turquoise hat: How's my favorite niece? Plaid hat: Your only niece is doing well. Turquoise hat: And how's cat burglar school going? Plaid hat: It's not. I told you. I'm not studying cat burglaring.

Page 2: The two penguins have stopped waddling, and the cat is seated in a loaf position. Turquoise hat: Fair enough. You do already have cats. Plaid hat: You could study it though. I mean, you're never too old. Turquoise hat (looking at cat): I also have a cat.

Page 3: The younger penguin and the cat are looking at each other. Plaid hat: Maybe we don't even need school. Maybe we could just practice by stealing each other's cats. Ha ha. Turquoise hat: You know, that's actually a good idea.

Page 4: The two penguins are looking at each other, and the cat is looking at the camera with a grumpy expression. Turquoise hat: Why don't you pop around my place at 3:59 am, and pilfer this guy before he wakes me up. Plaid hat: Too much like work.

This week's penguin: After the Louvre heist, Bad Influence Aunties everywhere are back on the subject.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #CatBurglar #LouvreHeist

Page 1: A penguin in a straw hat is waddling into a room where a penguin in a grey hat is standing by a laptop on a desk. Straw hat: What do you want me to do? Grey hat: Take a look at this midterm test I'm putting together. Straw hat: Looking for...? Grey hat: You'll know it when you see it.

Page 2: The penguin in the straw hat is at the laptop, while the penguin in the grey hat looks on. Straw hat (sound effect *Click!* x5): Ah! Found it! Question 6, none of the answers are right. Three are boring, but answer 4, "marmite & jellied beetle salad" is just weirdly and enchantingly wrong. Grey hat: Right!

Page 3: The two penguins are now looking at each other. Straw hat: So obviously I can't help but choose it. Grey hat: Thus proving you're a penguin, since a test taking bot would never pick the wrongest answer. And I can go back to giving my midterms online, from home!

Page 4: The penguin in the grey hat is watching the penguin in the straw hat waddling out of the room to the right. Grey hat: Well? What do you think? Straw hat: I think I just came up with the next project for my bot writing class.

This week's penguin: On a philosophy test, rather than electrical engineering, it might not be so obvious.

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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #TestTakingBot

Page 1: A penguin in a straw hat is waddling towards a penguin wearing a light teal hat decorated with wood shavings, looking at an irregular somewhat fish-shaped piece of wood mounted on a lathe. Straw hat: I think I need to start woodturning. Shavings hat: Maybe? Why? Straw hat: It will give me superpowers, I've heard. Shavings hat: That's probably not the best reason.

Page 2: The straw hat penguin has stopped to talk. Straw hat: Hey, it's not like I'm trying to get bit by a radioactive arachnid or anything. Straw hat (thinking): ...anymore. Shavings hat: Well that's a relief. Shavings hat: What exactly gave you the idea? And why ask me? Straw hat: I heard one of the other turners say you were doing a lot of "turning air!"

Page 3: A little closer view of the two penguins looking at wooden fish in progress. Shavings hat: That just means I was turning irregularly shaped wood. So part of the time my tool was contacting the wood, and part of the time, just air. It can be kind of loud, but it's not particularly "super." Straw hat: ...and?

Page 4: Back to a wider view of the two penguins conversing in front of the lathe. Shavings hat: And it has nothing to do with flying. Straw hat: Worth a try.

This week's penguin: It does kind of sound like a plane taking off.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #woodturning

Page 1: A penguin in a straw hat is sitting in a chair, reading a horror comic "The Empty Cooler", in a room where a morning landscape is visible through large windows. A penguin in a green hat is waddling into the room from the right and carrying a phone. Straw hat: You look tired! Didn't that sleep drink supplement work? Green hat: I was still up most of the night! I can't believe I fell for their ad! Here, have a look.

Page 2: A close up view of the phone as the penguin in the straw hat is holding it. The penguins are not visible on screen. The phone has a scene of a steaming mug with a herring decoration and full of a pale green drink. Under that is a photo of a packet of "HerringZZ Sleep Toddy" which is subtitled "Tasty and Relaxing" with a cartoon picture of a penguin in a night cap sleeing while sitting up. Straw hat: That does look nice and calming. Green hat: Doesn't it just!

Page 3: The penguin in the straw hat is looking at the penguin in the green hat, who is now occupied with the phone. Straw hat: Did you follow the instructions? Green hat: Of course! Straw hat: Did you read them first? Green hat: Probably!

Page 4: The penguin in the straw hat is returning to reading while asking one last question. Straw hat: And then did you actually put your phone away for the night? Green hat: Those Extreme Hobby Fails videos aren't going to watch themselves.

This week's penguin: That has nothing to do with making a supplement work though.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #SleepSupplements

Page 1: Close up of a phone being held in a penguin's flipper. The phone shows a clickbait headline "End Of World Immanent?" with a picture of a fireball comet and under that a rocket exploding on the launchpad. You will later see that the penguin holding the phone is wearing a grey hat while the other penguin in the room is wearing a magenta hat. Grey hat: I'm running your anti doom scrolling app but it's still letting me scroll! Magenta hat: Wait for it...

Page 2: A wider shot of both penguins. The penguin in the magenta hat is reading calmly from a dark grey tablet. Phone (app): "Doomscrolling detected! Here is a picture of herring boats." Grey hat: Granted that's a very non-doomy picture... ...but it's only going to stop me for a few seconds...

Page 3: A close up of the phone and penguin in the grey hat. A fish has come out of the phone with the sound effect: *poink!* Phone (app): And here is a herring! Grey hat (leaning toward the herring): Whoa!

Page 4: Wide shot of the penguin in the magenta hat looking towards the penguin in the grey hat (who is now eating the herring.) Magenta hat: I bet you're thinking, "This is brilliant! We'll sell a bazillion!" Grey hat (sound effect: *Munch*): uh-huh! Grey hat (thought bubble): "How long do I need to doomscroll till I get another herring?"

This week's penguin: More tech with counter-intended consequences. 
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #doomscrolling

Page 1: Two juvenile penguins, one with a blue straw hat and one with a ball cap, are waddling along a stone road with some bare trees in the background. Straw hat: Did you do a birthday challenge thing this year? Cap: Yup! I published a book! Straw hat: Wow! What about?

Page 2: The two juvenile penguins are still waddling along the stone road, now with mountains visible in the background. Cap: It's called "How to Catch a Buzzard" and it's basically just: 1: Go outside and lie down 2: Stay very very still 3: Smell bad. Straw hat: Seriously?

Page 3: The two juvenile penguins are still waddling along the stone road, now with the ocean visible in the background. Straw hat: Why would you want to catch a buzzard? Cap: Dunno. They're cool to hang out with, I guess.

Page 4: The penguins wearing the cap has stopped and is talking emphatically. They are still on the stone road, with mountains visible in the background. Straw hat: Did you catch any? Cap: Yeah. A lawyer one. Who said all we have to do if we want to hang out is invite them to a fridge cleaning, the grosser, the better. And then called my book "bait and switch"...! Straw hat: Well technically...

This week's penguin: It does work, so what's the problem?
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #BaitAndSwitch

Page 1: A remote meeting screen with four penguins wearing hats with cat ears and some with cat nose and whiskers filters. The penguin in the top right screen has a coffee mug on a table and a flipper behind it. The penguin in the bottom right screen has the silliest hat of all, with long dangly strings of beads hanging from the brim. Top left screen: This meeting of "Penguins who like to play cats on the internet" will now come to order! Top right screen: Seconded! Bottom left screen: Thirded! Bottom right screen: Meow!

Page 2: The penguin in the top right screen has pushed the coffee mug off the table. Top left screen: First order of business, suggestions for a new motto! Top right screen: "On the internet, nobody knows you're not a cat" Bottom left screen: "I like herrings!" Because, you know, that works if you're a cat or a penguin. Bottom right screen: Meow!

Page 3: There is a sound effect crash! from the top right screen where the coffee mug has presumably hit the ground. The penguin in the bottom left screen is standing up in surprise. Bottom left screen: Also........ nobody knows that you are. Top left screen: Filters off please! Bottom right screen: Meow!

Page 4: It can now be seen that the "penguin" in the top right screen is actually really a cat who had a penguin filter, and has picked up the pieces of the mug and put them back on the table. The penguins with whisker filters have turned them off. Top left screen: Well then. Top right screen (thought): Busted! Bottom left screen: Did you just wish big and turn into a cat? Top right screen: Started out this way. Top right screen (asking penguin in bottom right screen with hat with dangling bead strings): Can I have your hat? Bottom right screen: Ok!

This week's penguin: Purrfectly normal pastime.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #RemoteMeetings

Page 1: A penguin in a brown suede hat and a penguin in a peacock hat are waddling on a stone path past some trees an forsythia. Peacock hat: I see you've been using AI to do art... Brown hat: Don't start. Peacock hat: I'm not complaining!

Page 2: The penguins are still waddling on the stone path. The background is becoming more mountainous. Peacock hat: I read your post about it's a whole complex process, not just throwing prompts at the wall... ... and you've never even made a "cute penguin in cat ears riding a horse on Mars" ever! I even accept that having to sometimes use a PC earns you enough suffering points to qualify as traditional art! Brown hat: So...?

Page 3: The penguins are still on the stone path but the penguin in the brown hat has stopped waddling. Peacock hat: So I took a peek, and I ... kind of like some of it. Brown hat: Really. Peacock hat: Really!

Page 4: The penguins have both stopped and are facing each other and conversing. Brown hat: But not "like" like it. As in putting a "like" on a post or anything. I mean, would it kill you to - Peacock hat: Literally? Probably not. But social media-ly? Yes. Yes it would.

This week's penguin: A penguin's gotta have some standards.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #AIArtControversy

Page 1: Two penguins, one in a lavender hat and one in a green hat, are waddling down some stone steps in an academic campus setting. Lavender hat: But is it science? Green hat: Yes! Research shows that penguins get more pleasure, in general, from having experiences than from buying stuff!

Page 2: The penguins are waddling towards the camera. Lavender hat: And now that you have one of these fancy new AI agents, you had it set up an experience for you? What kind? Green hat: Well, I've always wanted to do my storytelling in front of a rapt audience! Lavender hat: I see.

Page 3: The penguins are waddling into a brown stone building. Green hat: And it turns out that an AI agent could set the whole thing up for me! Find a venue, rent a crowd, and pay for everything with my credit card! And all I had to do was send off a few voice prompts! I tell you, the technology has come a long long way!

Page 4: The two penguins are waddling int the venue, a decent sized oak paneled room with a handful of penguins, the audience, milling around some chairs. The audience penguins are each dressed in wrapping paper. Lavender hat: Maybe text it the prompt next time...? Green hat: Maybe.

This week's penguin: At least it will make a good story. Someday.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon

Page 1: A penguin in a lavender hat is waddling from the left towards a penguin in a green hat to the right, in front of a closed garage door. Lavender hat: Your new hobby - "Electronic Taxidermy" - how does that even work? Like you still stuff roadkill, but using lasers and robots and what-not? Green hat (emphasizing the plural word): "Electronics"...!

Page 2: The garage door begins to open. Green hat: Similar, though - I'm learning to "stuff" the shells of obsolete computers and make them look creepily alive again! Lavender hat: OK... that's... niche. Green hat: It was also the last hobby club in town I hadn't joined yet.

Page 3: The two penguins are now in the garage. A number of obsolete antique computers sit on tables and the floor, stuffed with straw, with googly eyes of various kinds pasted onto their screens. The penguin in the lavender hat is looking at a large translucent bucket sittng on a table. The bucket is filled with taxidermy eyeballs and labeled with a placard that says "Eyeballs" while the penguin in the green hat looks on. Green hat: And I'm making my mark already! In only a month, I've built up the most extensive and varied eyeball bucket of any club member. Lavender hat: Congratulations. Also, ew.

Page 4: The two penguins, still in the garage, continue their discussion. Lavender hat: Once you've conquered the stuffed-robo-whatsit club, what's next, though? Politics? Green hat: After honing my argumenting skills in so many small groups of penguins with very large opinions? Politics would hardly be a challenge. I'm joining my local Nest Owners' Association!

This week's penguin: A place where it's just the purity of opinions without even the substance of a hobby.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon

Page 1: A penguin in a straw hat is sitting at a table looking at a laptop, across from a penguin in a green has with a tablet. A cat is walking by from the right carrying a large herring in her mouth. Straw hat: This is odd. The catnip bill has been way way lower recently. Green hat: The cat hasn't complained? Straw hat: She has not.

Page 2: A wider shot where the cat is exchanging the fish to a polar bear for a huge pawful of catnip leaves. The penguins are still discussing. Green hat: This time of year catnip can be hard to get! And expensive! Maybe she's thinking about the household budget. Straw hat (says nothing) Green hat: ...oh right. She's a cat.

Page 3: Still a wide shot with the bear barely seen through the door, leaving, and the cat carrying the bunch of catnip off to the right. The two penguins are still oblivious of the transaction. Straw hat: Anyway, I checked our credit cards, and hers, all our online payment accounts, all our email receipts, and all delivery notices. Nothing. Green hat: Weird. I guess cats are magic.

Page 4: The penguins are back to looking at their devices. The cat's tail can be seen as she leaves the room. Straw hat: Or maybe she's shopping local. Green hat: Don't be silly. Nobody does that.

This week's penguin: Yet she still always seems to be in a really good mood.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #ShopLocal

Page 1: A penguin in a purple hat and a penguin in a straw hat are waddling on a cobblestone park path from the left. A penguin in a wide-brimmed floppy green beach hat waddles towards them from the right. Purple hat: How's it going? Green hat: Great! Except for my art isn't selling! Straw hat: You do art? Green hat: Kinetic hanging sonic sculptures made from ethically sourced faunal detritus! Straw hat: So, wind chimes made from roadkill...? Green hat: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Page 2: The penguins have stopped waddling to chat. Straw hat: OK, but how many galleries have you submitted to? Or juried shows? Green hat: That would be crass, tacky, and vulgar! If I don't wait to be properly discovered by art scouts, I'll never be considered a Legitimate Artist.

Page 3: The penguins are still conversing. Purple hat: By the way, my gallery show is opening tonight! Green hat: You have a gallery show?!? Purple hat: Well, yes. Straw hat: Legitimately!

Page 4: The penguin in the green hat is waddling off to the left. The other two penguins are facing each other and talking. Green hat (waddling away): *hmpf* Purple hat: "Art scouts"...? Straw hat: I notice you didn't mention it's a members show at the gallery you belong to, that a few hundred other artists are also showing, and all you had to do to get a piece accepted was show up with it...? Purple hat: Well where's the fun in that?

This week's penguin: So galleries aren't breaking down your door to be the first to show these?
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #ArtGallery

Page 1: A penguin in a lavender hat and a penguin in a purple hat are standing on a paved path by the seawall. A penguin in a green hat and a penguin in a magenta hat are waddling towards them from the right. Green hat: I read your post on BeakBook. Very thoughtful! Purple hat: Thanks! Did I convince you? Green hat: Welllll.... Magenta hat: You did make a lot of solid points! Green hat: I'm still waiting to see if you convinced anyone else though. Magenta hat: Same!

Page 2: The two waddling penguins have stopped to continue chatting. Purple hat: Never let a well-reasoned argument get in the way of social proof, I always say. Green hat: You do? Purple hat: No.

Page 3: The two waddling penguins are continuing waddling off to the left. The penguin in the lavender hat and the penguin in the purple hat are conversing. A penguin in a blue hat is waddling towards them from the right. Lavender hat: OK, I didn't read your post yet. Is it still about AI just being one part of your art-making toolbox? Purple hat: No, that trawler has sailed, I'm afraid. Lavender hat: Then what?

Page 4: The penguin in the lavender hat and the penguin in the purple hat are still conversing. The penguin in the blue hat has stopped to overhear the conversation and is looking up at a word balloon from that conversation. Purple hat: I refuse to stop using the Comic Sans font in my cartoon. Lavender hat: So they have a point then. Blue hat (thought): I can't believe I never noticed that.

This week's penguin: You're entitled to your opinion, even if it's objectively wrong.
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#penguins #pengcognito #cartoon #SocialProof

Page 1: A penguin wearing a black hat is a customer in the show booth of an artist penguin who is wearing a purple hat. They are looking at a sculpture of fish swarming on top of a translucent turquoise vase. The booth is full of more odd looking fish themed sculptures, on stands and hanging from the roof of the tent. Customer penguin: It's pretty and all, but what do you do with it? Artist penguin: Hang on to it until it increases in value! And some unscrupulous artists have even faked their own "permanent unavailability" just to make that happen!

Page 2: The artist penguin is holding out a sculpture of a goofy looking smiling fish that appears to be made of heavy rusted iron. Customer penguin: Have you ever done that? Artist penguin: Why no, I would never admit to having done that. Moving on, a piece that's hefty and/or pointy will be useful in a zombie apocalypse.

Page 3: The artist penguin has put the the goofy iron fish sculpture back on its stand. Customer penguin: So you don't have any actual good reason for - Artist penguin (interrupting): Studies show you can charge a lot more for your mediocre Seabnb vacation rental if there is Fine Art in it.

Page 4: The customer penguin is waddling off to the left, having purchased the multi-fish vase. The artist penguin is retrieving another of the same sculpture from behind one of the stands. Artist penguin (thought): Works every time...

This week's penguin: If I had a gallery, its scruples rating would be "chaotic neutral."
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Page 1: A penguin in a blue banded hat is waddling into a room where a penguin in a purple hat is weaving chain maille. Blue-banded hat: So it's spelled chain m-a-i-l-l-e now? I guess to distinguish it from those semi-threatening chain m-a-i-l letters from back in the day...? Purple hat: Maybe that was the original idea.

Page 2: An overhead view of the weaving penguin's work, with some loose rings. The penguin's flipper can be seen holding a ring by a pair of pliers. Purple hat (off screen): Now the fancy spelling just lets you charge a higher price at the Renaissance F-a-i-r-e! Blue-banded hat (off-screen): There's probably a correlation there...

Page 3: Back to the original view of the two penguins. Blue-banded hat: However, I still don't know why your little metal circles are called "jump" rings. Purple hat: No? Watch me weave for a bit and you'll see.

Page 4: Some time has passed. Suddenly a jump ring has launched off the pliers of the penguin in the purple hat (with a sound effect of "PLINK!") and bounced off the wall (with a sound effect of "ting!") Purple hat: (swears) @$#$!! Blue-banded hat: Oh.

This week's penguin: I can absolutely vouch for the sound effects.
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Page 1: A fish themed room with a frosted glass door to the outside; a cat shape can be seen through the glass. A penguin in a lavender hat waddles towards the door. Cat: In please! I have a snack for you! Penguin: Is it small and furry? Cat: ....maybe. Penguin: You can come in as long as the "snack" stays outside.

Page 2: A ginger cat is walking in through the door, not carrying anything. Cat: You are no fun. Penguin: I just let you out! and right before that, in, and right before that - Cat: I know, I know, but I get bored!

Page 3: The penguin is looking at the cat, who is sitting. Penguin: You're going to have to find some ways of amusing yourself that don't include me, and a door, and work! Cat: you know what would solve this whole problem? Penguin: What?

Page 4: The penguin is looking down at the cat, who is now turning to leave. Cat: If you installed a cat flap! Penguin: Still me, and a door, and work. Cat: But then I could bring you snacks any time! Penguin: You're not helping your case.

This week's penguin: It's always a simple solution if someone else does it.
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Page 1: A penguin in a purple hat is sitting on a bench under a street light, in the early evening, reading a "Zombie News of the World" tabloid. A penguin in a costume of a pirate hat and golf club is waddling in from the right, and another with a wide green straw beach hat is also slightly visible in frame. Purple hat: I see you went to the After Halloween party as "Captain Hook, Passable Pirate, Terrible Golfer" yet again! Pirate hat: I did try to break out of my rut this year! But by the time I got to the pop-up stores, all the "Cthulhu", "Murder Swan", and "Cute Kitty Ears, Tail, and Whip" costumes were sold out! Everywhere!

Page 2: The penguin in the pirate hat is now standing, and the penguin in the green straw hat, which can be seen to have a few scraps of herrings attached, is still waddling. Pirate hat: Anyway, the party was a huge success. All the left over treats were eaten! Green hat: Among other things!

Page 3: The three penguins are still conversing. Purple hat: And yours is obviously conceptual... let me guess... horror movie? "Where are the Herrings?" or "Night of the Empty Fridge" or "The Great Mackerel Heist"...? Green hat: It started out with many many more fish! But once I said what it meant, everyone started eating it!

Page 4: The three penguins are still conversing. Purple hat: And what was it...? Green hat: "Lunch!" Purple hat: Well so maybe you can't blame - Green hat: It was dinner time! Pirate hat: You did win "Most Popular Costume" though!

This week's penguin: The after Halloween party can be weirder than the day itself.

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Page 1: A penguin in a lavender hat is waddling through a park setting where tents are set up for an arts & crafts fair. Another penguin in a green hat is waddling away speedily, evidently afraid of something. Green hat: Burn it! Burn it all! From orbit! Lavender hat (thinking): What the...?

Page 2: Now two more penguins, one in a brown hat and one in a black hat, also seemingly afraid, are waddling quickly away from the direction the penguin in the lavender hat is going. Brown hat: Nope nope nope nope Black hat: Waddle! Waddle for your lives!!!! Lavender hat (thinking): Must be some penguin selling spooky season stuff.

Page 3: A close up of a penguin in a bowler hat and a penguin in a magenta hat conversing. The penguin in the bowler hat clearly has some authority and is holding a triangle warning sign, of which we can only see the top point. Magenta hat: Why do I need a content warning sign?!? The name of the booth is intrinsically a warning! Shouldn't that be enough? Bowler hat: Nobody studies dead languages anymore. So no.

Page 4: The penguin in the lavender hat has reached the booth the other penguins were waddling away from. The warning sign shows a silhouette of a spider with the words "Spider art", and a penguin in a tan hat is standing by the sign with a startled look. The booth can now be seen to be filled with paintings of spiders, and the name of it is "Arachnophilia." The penguin in the bowler hat is contemplating the warning sign, and the penguin in the magenta hat (which we can now see is decorated with a metal spider) and the penguin in the lavender hat are conversing. Tan hat: Yikes! Magenta hat: Evidently, some penguins don't like spiders. Lavender hat: Their loss!

This week's penguin: When the warning sign itself is too scary.
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Page 1: A penguin in a blue banded hat is standing to the left of an open front door. A black cat is watching a chipmunk running out the door very quickly. A penguin in a purple hat watches at the right of the door. Blue-banded hat: And that's the chipmunk gone. Told you it would be easy.

Page 2: The cat has moved to sit in front of the purple hat penguin. The chipmunk has run out of sight. Cat: It just needed an apex predator to make a convincing argument. Purple hat: Predator? You brought it in in the first place!

Page 3: The two penguins are standing to the left of the door as the chipmunk runs back inside. Blue-banded hat: That didn't last long. Purple hat (to chipmunk): Whatever happened to the call of the wild? Little f#*(%$!

Page 4: The penguins are still by the door. The cat has come back. The chipmunk is sitting on a sideboard by a plant. Blue-banded hat: Uh-oh. You named it. Now it's a pet. Chipmunk: That is the rule! Now. Password for pet food delivery service, and I'll just update your autoships for you...? Or for me, I mean. *ha-ha* Cat: I've got it.

This week's penguin: The jumping spider in the kitchen has our passwords.
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Page 1: A penguin in a grey hat is waddling towards, a penguin in a turquoise hat with streamers, who is leaving an outdoor workshop area with a lathe. Grey hat: How's the wood turning lessons going? Turquoise hat: Slowly. And also sometimes too fast.

Page 2: The two penguins are standing and conversing. The penguin in the grey hat is holding out a streamer like the one on the other penguin's hat. Grey hat: Made anything awesome yet? Turquoise hat: Sawdust and chips mostly. Grey hat: I've been finding some of these stringy thingies like you have on your hat. They appear to be wood-like.

Page 3: The penguins are still conversing. Turquoise hat: "Shavings." Which is progress actually. Grey hat: It is? Turquoise hat: You bet![1] For me, anyway![2] [footnote 1] This is true [footnote 2] Also true

Page 4: Both penguins are waddling off to the left. The penguin in the grey hat has decorated the hat with shavings. Grey hat: Anything else? Turquoise hat: A "banjo" isn't a musical instrument, and also not a weapon. Intentionally anyway. Grey hat: Well that's kind of disappointing.

This week's penguin: Whereas in music, it's both.
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Page 1: A penguin in a blue banded hat reading a book "Physics for Penguins" and a penguin in a purple hat reading a book "Electronics for Penguins" are sitting in chairs. Between them is a Herringbot AI Assistant device on a table. Herringbot: I've just been updated to the plus version of me! Which is far more convenient and conversational! Want to know some of my amazing new skills? Blue-banded hat: Uh... sure? Herringbot: You can find them all by just looking in the app! Blue-banded hat: Are there any that you can just tell us? Purple hat: Conveniently?

Page 2: The penguins have lowered their books and are paying attention to Herringbot. Herringbot: I can add things to your shopping list! Blue-banded hat: Can you delete them? Herringbot: No! Herringbot: Also, I can stream music as long as you know where your streamable music is! Purple hat: Isn't it in "the cloud?" Herringbot: Possibly!

Page 3: The penguins are paying more attention to Herringbot. Blue-banded hat: Anything else? Herringbot: I can pretend I have lost contact with the internet if you ask me something that's too complicated! Purple hat: You could always do that. Herringbot: That was real. Now I can fake it!

Page 4: The penguin in the purple hat has returned to reading. Blue-banded hat: So this update is really the same old functionality, but with a new set of even more annoyingly perky voices? Herringbot: Sorry, I have lost contact with the internet and cannot respond in that area.

This week's penguin: In no way is this based on a true story or anything.
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Page 1: A group of penguins are sitting in leather chairs in a meeting room in a library. A penguin in a grey hat is standing at a podium in front of them. A penguin in a black hat is commenting. Grey hat: Welcome to the meeting of the Bad Poets' Society, where bad poets help other bad poets feel better by comparison. I'll start. Customs agents wanted to examine my phone. I told them it was voice activated and to unlock it I'd have to recite some of my poetry. They declined. Next? Black hat: Not bad! Or actually, pretty bad!

Page 2: The penguin in the grey hat is back in a chair and a penguin in a turquoise hat is standing at the podium. A penguin in a purple hat and the penguin in the black hat are commenting. Turquoise hat: I entered my very best work into a very small contest. Purple hat: And you won? Why are you here? Turquoise hat: I lost. To a Vogon. Black hat: Wait, you lost to a fictional character? Turquoise hat: I came in third. Of three. Second place was an AI blatherbot trained on material rejected from vanity presses. Black hat: Wow!

Page 3: The penguin in the turquoise hat is back in a chair and a penguin in a tan hat is standing at the podium. The penguin in the black hat is commenting. A penguin in a lavender hat is waddling in from the right. Tan hat: I found that reciting my "Ode to a Herring Stew I Did Not Like" dissolved the varnish off a sideboard I was starting to refinish. Black hat: At least that's something useful. Tan hat: If I go on too long it also dissolves the wood. Grey hat: Here's our featured speaker, published author of "How to Make a Million Writing Poetry!"

Page 4: The penguin in the tan hat is back in a chair and the penguin in the lavender hat is standing at the podium. A penguin in a blue checked hat has joined the commenting. Purple hat: You're published? Why are you here? Lavender hat: The entire contents of the book is a page containing four words. "Start with two million." Blue checked hat: Wow! Tan hat: That is bad! Lavender hat: Not only that, I stole it from a jazz musician. Black hat: You win! Grey hat: I feel better already.

This week's penguin: Entirely different definition of poetry slam.
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Page 1: A penguin in a lavender hat is pushing open a door open that has a sign on it saying "MEDITATION IN PROGRESS DO NOT DISTURB" A penguin in a grey hat is inside the room thinking a blank thought bubble.

Page 2: The penguin in the lavender hat is now in the room with a thought bubble containing a tasty looking cartoon fish. The penguin in the grey hat is still thinking a blank thought.

Page 3: The cartoon fish jumps from the lavender hat penguin's thought bubble to the grey hat penguin's thought bubble in a splash of cartoon water. Grey hat (surprised, with hat jumping off head a little): "Hey!"

Page 4: Both thought bubbles are gone. Grey hat: Is it time to eat already? Lavender hat: Always.

This week's penguin: Enlightenment can wait (for dinner.)
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