Met a friend for coffee and her little boy loved the joint. #dialtone #twoyearolds #oldtownchicago

Me (trying on a new purple shirt): Do you like my new shirt?
Ramona: No! Take it off!
Me: What? You don’t like it??
Ramona: No! No! I don’t like it!
Me: 🫡
#TwoYearOlds #Brutal

Me: I made that blanket for you!
Ramona: It’s yucky.
Me: I made it while you were in my tummy, isn’t that nice?
Ramona: No.
Me: 🫥
#twoyearolds

when asking a spouse to come home immediately, don't let your opening statement be, "It's poopageddon over here"

#ProTip
#TwoYearOlds