Page 1: Two penguins are sitting in a living room, one on the left wearing a lavender hat and looking down at a lavender tablet computer; the one on the right has a green hat and is looking down at a green tablet.
Green hat: Awww...
Lavender hat: What?
Green hat: Nostalgia! From when I had to leave that old bird conversation app.
Page 2: A screenshot of the Great Penguin's profile on the site, which shows that the Great Penguin is following the green hat penguin. The Great Penguin is listed as "deity, herring aficionado, multiverse hobbyist" and "Joined Since Forever." Also, is following 569.1K other users.
Green hat (offscreen): I found the screenshot I took to prove the Great Penguin was following me!
Lavender hat (offscreen): I vaguely remember that. Wasn't the Great Penguin also following a trawler-load of other users? Like 500,000?
Page 3: Back to the view of the two penguins, now looking at each other.
Green hat: Yes! Which means I'm one in half a million!
Lavender hat: Technically. I guess. But I don't think that means what you think it means. Why did you leave, anyway?
Green hat: The whole site just devolved into a toxic giant flame war about whether herrings or mackerels were tastier.
Lavender hat: Ha! Like who would ever get that wrong!
Page 4: The penguin in the green hat has returned to looking at the tablet. The penguin in the lavender hat is looking at the green hat penguin in surprise.
Green hat: And I mean, I love herrings and all, but given a choice of a sushi grade mackerel, why ever wouldn't I take it?
Lavender hat: Wait what?
This week's penguin: Things you might not think to ask.
pengcognito.com/index.php?id...
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