I was scheduled to head back inpatient for another 5 day #KetamineInfusion on Tues.
I'm sick with #COVID. Since I haven't really left the house for a couple of weeks, Peter likely brought it home.
He's a sharing, caring type of guy. 🫠
Oh well. I've rescheduled for March.🤞
#SmallFiberNeuropathy
“Renee was not the first person killed, and she was not the last,” Becca Good said. “You know my wife’s name and you know Alex’s name, but there are many others in this city being harmed that you don’t know — their families are hurting just like mine, even if they don’t look like mine.”
A photograph of Jackie, a 5 year old red fox lab, sniffing at the purple blooms of a blooming lilac plant.
A photograph of Jackie, a 5 year old red fox lab, leaning into the blooming lilac plant, but looking at the photographer with some "side eye".
Jackie and one of her favorite plants in the yard (hardenbergia or "lilac vine") 🥰
#dogsofbluesky #labrador #dogsky #NorCal #gardening
2/
I got an email from the recruitment company directing me to their online portal to upload my references.
Either it's all being handled by AI, or someone wasn't paying attention and made a mistake, but I'm just going to tuck this away as a funny experience. 😁
Update to the headhunting email.
I figured after I sent my response last evening, I'd either get a polite acknowledgement or just ignored.
What I recieved this morning was neither of those.
😂
1/
7/
There are so many things I wanted to do professionally and I so miss the work.
So yeah, sometimes the grief just sneaks up on you.
💙
6/
Then a headhunting email showed up. I know the organization well. The position sounds great. The salary made me realize just how much "earning potential" I've missed out on.
And I know it was just happenstance that they got an old list from the board, but it sucks to be reminded...
5/
And I was thrilled with that prospect. I still wouldn't be able to work. I definitely can't provide therapy. But after working so damn hard to get that license and having so much taken from me, this felt like a win.
4/
...I (cautiously optimistic) signed up for a year of unlimited CEs, and considering the possibility of being able to renew my license as "active" in 2028. (I had to promise friends and family I wouldn't kill myself trying to do 36 hours in 2 months to renew this year.)
3/
In 2020 (or 2022), I made the choice to register my professional license (LCSW) as "inactive" because I couldn't read and focus enough to take the CE classes.
This year, after having 3 Stellate Ganglion Nerve Blocks, and being able to read again and focus...
2/
I haven't been able to work since 2018. Even the federal govt agreed that I was too disabled to work.
My brain and body (due to a multitude of #chronicillness diagnoses) said, "We're not doing this anymore."
When I first had to stop working, I was bedbound for 9 months.
Grief and loss can rise up, unexpectedly, even after years of believing it to be resolved.
Ok, so "resolved" might be a high expectation to place on grief, but the point is that the pain of loss can surface or if nowhere.
For me, it was an email I recieved yesterday.
1/
White text on a black background that reads: My biggest flex is I'm exactly who the fuck I say I am and don't have to fake shit.
About Me
Progressive/Liberal AF, Feminist, Social Worker, Disabled by chronic illness, BLM, Abolish ICE, People cannot be illegal on stolen land, LGBTQIA+ Community, Food, Shelter, and Healthcare are part of basic human rights!
5/
I'm having trouble catching my breath and Jamba Juice and Thai chicken noodle soup are my best friends right now.
It also triggered a #migraine.
I'm going to be taking it easy for a little while. I promise. 🤞😂
4/
... it in "inactive" status that I could be paying for active, so it's a matter of pride.
But I still crash I've been pushing it and was dealing with #pem and #PENE heading into this procedure today. The procedure went smoothly, but the ride home was rough. Really, really rough.
3/
But the biggest thing for me is that I think I'm ready to start working on CEU classes to get my LCSW license active.
I'm a huge way away from being able to use it, and the reality is that I probably will never return to work, but I love learning, and I'm paying just as much to keep...
2/
... medical compliance issues. (Highly recommend "No More Tears: The Dark Secrets of Johnson and Johnson" by Gardiner Harris).
I'm working on writing more and getting the blog on Substack going.
I'm doing more art.
I'm getting out of the house more socially.
1/
I had my 4th #stellateganglionblock today for treatment of my #MECFS.
My 1st was 1/3/24. My 2nd was 5/7/24. And my 3rd was 4/17/25.
Over the past couple of years, I've been able to do more around the house. I've been able to resume reading novels and (even more exciting) books about...
3/
He's a sweet old man and can be very, very funny. 💜
2/
He even manages to do it when I think he hasn't been in the bathroom since I've been in there again.
We even hit a point a week ago, when Peter had all the towels in the laundry room to wash them, that Matty went through the pile to try to find my hair towel. (It was already in the washer.)
1/
My mom's having surgery, so their dog Matty is staying with us for a couple of nights.
Matty has this odd fascination with my hair towel. (A pretty generic microfiber towel I wrap my hair up in after I wash it.)
Every time I walk into the bathroom, my hair towel is on the floor.
Jackie is disturbed and concerned.
I'm not sharing this to be funny. She is very closely tuned into my feelings and how I'm doing physically.
There's a lot going on right now.
I'm anxious. I'm scared. I'm angry (not at her).
I'm also determined. I will not be silent.
#AbolishIce #justice
6/
I truly hope that we'll be able to find another place to gather and share and create and just be. But until then, I wish everyone peace and safety. And I'm sending love it to anyone who needs it.
💜
5/
Yeah, there's a lot that can be said about social media being toxic. There's times we all need to step back, gather our thoughts (or feelings) and take a a break. And that's OK.
But I'm forever grateful to the creators who made content that allowed me to see the world through their eyes.
4/
And dogs. Lots of dog accounts. (And I could share Jackie and Matty). And all the amazing musical artists and dancers and performers. I found so much incredible music, and I'm so grateful that I'm able to access it on other platforms.
3/
I also found community there, among the artists, writers, feminists, and #spoonies. I found a place in the #AlphabetMafia. I learned more about how my trauma impacted me. And I found comfort in animated self care accounts reminding me to be gentle with myself.
2/
... watching the horrors of this administration play out in real time. I'm grateful to the creators who took the time to educate, to share the news, and give their time and energy to collective growth.
1/
I'm going to miss TikTok.
Over the past 4 years of using the app, I developed friendships across the globe, learned how I was upholding #WhiteSupremacy and #Racism, and started working to undo years of learned bad behavior.
I learned about the true history of this country, and have been ...
A cartoon picture of snoopy dressed in a heavy coat and ice fishing with the caption: "I don't need fancy things... just cheaper groceries, lower bills, and a world that makes sense again."
This world hasn't made sense in quite a while, but it feels like each day, there's more to horrific news. 💙
#AbolishICE